The week between Christmas and New Year’s is a time of reflection and resolutions.

This year we reflect on loved ones we lost, the horror of a madman’s heinous act and the ferociousness of Mother Nature.  We think of an endless presidential campaign, a global economic crisis and the media’s misinterpretation of the Mayan calendar’s prediction to the end of the world.

A significant occasion to me was having three women accept The Nobel Peace Prize; women who exemplify a, as the Committee says, “..non-violent struggle for the safety of women and for women's rights to full participation in peace-building work.”

This is also the time of year I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis; a daunting discovery to be unveiled at the tender age of twenty-six.  I don’t remember the exact date; it’s not an anniversary to celebrate.

Yet when the holidays roll around I celebrate how my diagnosis empowered me to turn adversity into strength, strength into action, and action into good deeds.

Writing and advocating for others is what I’ll cherish about 2012.  It’s my personal Nirvana.

This final 2012 post from An Empowered Spirit offers thought-provoking quotes to enrich, enlighten and empower your life.

May your New Year be filled with endless possibilities and may many blessings come your way.

Thank you for being a part of my journey.  I look forward to discussing more Second Chapter issues to bring us all even better tomorrows, together, in 2013.  Namaste.

H "The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart." ~Buddha Quote

A “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” ~Henry David Thoreau

P “Peace is not the absence of war, but a virtue based on strength of character.” ~Baruch Spinoza

P “It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.” ~St. Thomas Aquinas Y “I love those who yearn for the impossible.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

N“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

E “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

W “Expect to have hope rekindled.  Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Y  “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.  The important thing is to not stop questioning.” ~Albert Einstein

E “You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires.  Create a strong belief in yourself and what you want.” ~Marcia Wieder

A “Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire

R “I learned that realism can come in all shapes and sizes. The world is big enough for different values to coexist.” ~Haruki Murakami, The Folklore of Our Times

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DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained and my posts are of a journalistic nature and not in lieu of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from the use of this blog or any data or links provided.

“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” ~Albert Pike

The purpose of An Empowered Spirit is to offer stories and share tips to live a vibrant and healthy life during our Second Chapter.

I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to also talk about the importance of charity. Recently, I became acquainted with the blog "another jennifer" after taking a Skillshare class with Jennifer Barbour, the writer, and producer of "another jennifer".  She introduced the concept of Philanthropy Friday (see pledge button on the sidebar of AES), a public pledge of giving to a nonprofit every Friday.  I love it.

Philanthropy is, in my mind, the most important work you can do.  Not only are you paying it forward, but you are empowering yourself with the simple act of thinking of others. If every person reading this post could pledge one day of volunteering or one dollar for a donation, we could all make a difference in the lives of others.

This magical time of year is the perfect time to begin taking this pledge. Give as little or as much as possible.  The quantity isn't as crucial as the selfless act of doing it.

What charities are important to you?  Leave a comment and share your story - I'd love to hear you say.

Here are the charities I gave to in December:

Pancreatic Cancer Action Network

Kinnelon Volunteer Animal Shelter

The Brady Campaign

The Robin Hood Foundation for Hurricane Sandy Relief

Sandy Hook Elementary School Victims Relief Fund

Once again, best wishes for a joyful, healthy, and magical holiday season.

If you liked this post, please share it with others! Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT.  SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under “Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered.” 

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

 

 

 

 

“She belonged to a different age, but being so entire, so complete, would always stand up on the horizon, stone-white, eminent, like a lighthouse marking some past stage on this adventurous, long, long voyage, this interminable --- this interminable life.” ~Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway

As a child, my favorite movies told stories about wealthy characters (although they never seemed to be working), beautifully coiffed and inundated with various social invitations.

Inevitably one scene would take place in a grand ballroom of someone’s estate (or a dinner club with men wearing tuxedos and women wearing evening gowns).  I was an invisible guest looking in on a world foreign to my own, watching their stories unfold on a dance floor while people fell in and out of love.

Each movie had a Jane Austen-like quality, minus the clashing of social classes.

“The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.” James Stewart as MacCauley Connor in The Philadelphia Story

The Philadelphia Story was one of my favorites; it captivated me in true Hollywood style, just as Pride and Prejudice and Mrs. Dalloway did in hardcover.  They fueled my already Utopian vision of how I thought life should be.

Adding fuel to my fire were the holiday movies I adored.  Aside from It’s a Wonderful Life, there was White Christmas, Holiday Inn, Christmas in Connecticut, and The Bishop’s Wife.

Beautiful people with hearts of gold, singing and dancing their way into each other’s hearts.  I learned from them the gold standard of how I thought people should be: doing good deeds for those in need, displaying an unending loyalty to family and friends, and always (always) having a compassionate heart.

Each story ended with a neatly tied bow for our viewing pleasure. We all know that life isn’t exactly like they are in books and movies.  I’ve fooled myself for many years (and still do to a certain extent) wishing it were, burying myself in classic black and whites, holding onto the belief that our life can be a beautiful, enriching and rewarding one filled with song, dance,, passion, and pleasure.

In today’s world, we are caught up in the frenzy of the latest and greatest technology. I plead guilty to carrying my iPhone wherever I go from morning until night.

I play six games of Words with Friends.  I stay current with emails, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, all “for the sake” of my job.  I multitasked this morning by taking a walk while returning phone calls.

My neighbor walked past me while on her cell, never looking up to say hello or wave.  There’s something wrong with that. Our humanity is becoming a lost art, and I’d love to bring it back.

“The main trouble is that too many people don't know where they're going, and they want to get there too fast!” ~James Gleason as Sylvester in The Bishop’s Wife

This is the time of year I love most, not because of the snow or the frigid temperatures.  What I love is the magical feeling I get during the holiday season.

That feeling is a gift to be treasured and cherished, and I wish it lasted the whole year.

But – alas - friends and family grow distant. There’s never enough time for one another.  Time to make a phone call, time to answer an email, time to send a card, or time to pay a visit.

We’re so damn busy “living” our lives that we’re losing something more precious than anything else.  The value of showing someone else you have time for them and care.

 “There are few people I really love and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it, and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.” ~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Miraculously, when I was at my most cynical point today, that pivotal moment when I began one more time to wonder whether people had “holly in their heart,” I received two phone calls within ten minutes of each other.

One was from a precious family member, the other from a close friend.  We discussed love and loss, grief and spirituality, sickness and health, aging and empowerment.

During our conversation, I knew I needed to get off the phone to finish working on this blog and my other writing assignments.  Yet these calls were crucial to me.

They lifted my spirits and renewed my faith in the power of people.

 “I often think," she said, "that there is nothing so bad as parting with one's friends. One seems so forlorn without them.” ~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Indeed, I’ll never have the social calendar of Katharine Hepburn’s Tracy Lord in The Philadelphia Story or of Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.

What is true is I’m a work in progress, trying to learn to accept others exactly as they are and not as I think they should be.  I’m learning that the faults I find in others are within myself.

The magical holiday season I love so dearly is what I make of it, not how others will make it for me. I will enjoy it by giving to others in need, sharing my joy with loved ones, carrying goodness in my heart, and (as we say in yoga) honoring myself.

I wonder what will you do to make your holiday more meaningful?

“Loving kindness, warm hearts, and the stretched-out hand of tolerance. All the shining gifts that make peace on earth.” ~David Niven as Henry Brougham, The Bishop’s Wife

HAPPIEST OF HOLIDAYS TO EVERY AN EMPOWERED SPIRIT READER.  I WISH YOU ALL SHEER JOY, GOOD HEALTH AND MAGICAL MOMENTS. 

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DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

 

"There is nothing insignificant in the world. It all depends on the point of view." ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I sat at the dinner table with a glass of Bordeaux and a pasted smile. This wasn't the first time my mouth froze in that position. I was sure it wasn't going to be my last.

 "If a man feels small, let man make himself bigger." ~Hubert Humphrey

We were invited to a small dinner party – a birthday celebration a friend of ours decided to throw for himself. It was a friend of my husband's. I knew no one. Yet I relished the chance to meet new and exciting people. I also looked forward to the splendid meal Zagat promised we would enjoy.

In my usual pre-party jitters, I worried about what to wear. If I were a few inches taller and more than a few pounds lighter, I wouldn't have to worry about how my outfit looked. But wait. Hold on a minute, girl. Time to recite the quote you love:

 "To lose confidence in one's body is to lose confidence in oneself." ~Simone de Beauvoir

I am trying to empower myself by building my confidence during my Second Chapter. Repeating this particular quote helps me work toward an improved me.

We arrived at the party on time, and it was intimate and delightful. My husband and I introduced ourselves to each guest before being seated at our table. Beyond the usual niceties of exchanging names and places of residence, I found that many of the guests led exciting lives – from retiring early and moving to coastal Maine (lucky!) to following Bruce Springsteen's tour all over the country (lucky again!)

We were having a good time, but in the back of my mind, I knew the point in the conversation I dreaded was looming. It's when guests begin to ask questions about careers and accomplishments. I used to cringe. I would silently practice my resume  - the "I worked a 'real job' until I became a mom" speech. Rarely did that conversation get out of the starting gate. People usually ask my husband about his career and would show interest in his work. Then I'm asked what I do, and after a brief look of disappointment with no follow-up questions, the conversation moves on to the next guest.    The quiet suburban housewife sits again in silence,  her heart sinking further.

 "The thing that is hard and amazing is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. "~Anna Quindlen

What about people with so little understanding of someone who chooses to be a stay-at-home mom? Do we all need to fit into society's idea of a "worthy" profession to be exciting and accepted? In all the years I was a stay-at-home mom, that question constantly plagued me, chiseling away my confidence and self-esteem.

"Know what you want. Become your real self." -- David Harold Fink

As I sat there sipping my wine, I halfheartedly listened to the questions being asked of my husband. Then suddenly, something wonderful and unexpected happened. I heard my husband change the direction of the conversation from talking about his career to proudly announcing what I do for mine. He told them about my Second Chapter ambitions and how I am reinventing my career to live my true passions. I almost started to cry. Without missing a beat, the other couples wanted to know about my writing and advocacy work. They all asked for my business card. Ahh.

At that moment, I realized there are many reasons to love being in our fifties and many reasons to be happy about saying farewell to worries of our past.

• Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it." Whatever we choose is the right thing for us to do - always. I will never allow myself to feel insignificant again.
• Life lessons have taught you who you are and what is essential.
• You know what your passions are (and what they aren't.)
• You no longer need to look like an airbrushed model. Feel good about yourself and how you look. You are unique and wonderful, exactly as you are.
• Take time to be proud of yourself and all of your accomplishments.
• Stick to your convictions. Believe in yourself and never compromise by allowing anyone to change your mind.
• Wear whatever you're comfortable in and whatever makes you feel good. A little lipstick, simple jewelry with a sweater, and a pair of (slimming) black pants make me feel good and ready to go.
• Eat in moderation, but don't deprive yourself if something looks scrumptious. We don't need to starve ourselves to look like the cover of Vogue – but we do have to be more conscious of our cholesterol, sodium, and fat intake. Have fun; enjoy yourself and kick back once in a while.

 "The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." ~Muhammed Ali

 

 If you liked this post, please share it with others! Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT. SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under "Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered." 

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.