"Hello, my name is Cathy Chester and I am a social media addict."

"Hello, Cathy."

"I don't know what to do.  When I wake up in the morning I grab my laptop, make my morning coffee, feed my cats, sit down and check my Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn accounts.  I've been known to watch movies at home with my husband while responding to Facebook friends. My college-age son says he doesn't know anyone who uses their cell phone more than me.  Really?  More than his college buddies? Can I help it if I have 6 games of Words with Friends that I like to play?  Keeps the brain active, you know"

"Well, that does sound serious, Cathy.  What do you think you should do?"

"I think I need a day of rest."

"OK, that sounds wise. Try taking small baby steps forward, maybe unplugging an hour at a time until you build up a day with no social media."

"A whole hour, and then a DAY?"

"Yes. You are serious about ridding yourself of this addiction, aren't you?"

"Um, I think I'm more serious about taking a Sunday break just for today.  I do need to keep in touch with the world, and don't want to miss a thing with any of my groups. But I'll try your advice on taking a break from it a whirl, ok?  Thanks.  See you around!"

Phew.  Escaped that debacle.

Seriously, I love social media (after weeding out the scammers, madcappers and nonsense we all come across.) I learn from wise, knowledgeable and amazing women I call my colleagues and friends. I reach out to family and friends across the country (and around the world) who continue to inspire, enlighten and comfort me.  Social media can be an extraordinarily remarkable and powerfully important component in our lives when used correctly.

Now I'll share with you how my Sunday will include taking some time away from my laptop, giving me a break and some important being-with-hubby time, with both eyes focused on our coupledom.  Don't worry.  I'll be back soon!

Listening to live jazz:

A day of rest from cooking (Here's Anthony Bourdain, a Jersey boy, and his No Reservations TV show about restaurants in New Jersey):

And, of course, my beloved Downton Abbey:

While snuggling with my cats:

Max

I hope you all have an enjoyable Sunday!

Spoiler Alert: The mission of An Empowered Spirit is to write about issues affecting people in their Second Chapter. Past posts have dealt with lighter issues, such as culturing friendships, staying authentic, and embracing your age. This week's post deals with the more difficult subjects of death, loss, and survival. I wrote it in memory of two recently lost beloved people. I hope you decide to continue reading, and let me know your thoughts.

"I don't want to stay in the bad place where no one believes in silver linings, love, or happy endings." ~Matthew Quick, Silver Linings Playbook

I've been putting off writing this post because I find it challenging to discuss the subjects of death, loss, and survival. Who doesn't? I've written and re-written the words in my mind but didn't dare to write them into a blog post. But last week, after watching (and falling in love with) the movie "Silver Linings Playbook" and hearing Robert DeNiro's character tell his son, played by Bradley Cooper, "Let me tell you. You have to pay attention to the signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this, it's a sin if you don't reach back... I'm telling you," I finally got the courage.

A light bulb suddenly flashed over my head so brightly that, for a brief moment, I thought the usher would tell me to turn it off. I realized my moment had come. There are times when writing can be highly cathartic. When you begin to write, you're staring at a blank page that needs to be filled with words revolving around a chosen subject or idea. If you're fortunate, you begin filling pages of sentences and paragraphs that eventually shape into a story that astonishes you because it somehow took on a life of its own.

Your innermost thoughts stored deep inside the vast chambers of your mind miraculously appear as your final draft. You can't help but wonder how that all happened. I pray that is what happens now.

When this does happen, as it has for me in the past, writing can be a lot like going to therapy. Except the therapist is replaced by your brain sitting across the room from you in a comfortable chair, reading aloud from a book about your life.

But this time is different; the subjects of death, loss, and survival are difficult to process, let alone write about. That's why I've been procrastinating. I've been unsure how to write about them without sounding bleak and oppressive.

So thanks to Mr. Quick and Mr. DeNiro for pushing me over the edge of reason and back onto the path leading to the glorious rest of my life.

"Let no one weep for me or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men." ~Quintus Ennius

Why have I been thinking much about life, death, loss, and love lately? Over the past few months, I lost two exceptional people in my life who were extraordinary, brilliant, and passionate. I loved them both so dearly. Each unknowingly added many dimensions to my character while I was growing up and into adulthood. They lived fully and happily into their eighties despite an inconvenient illness. They set the bar high for me, one I hope to follow someday, and make me proud. I never wanted to let them go. At the very least, I got to thank them each. Who wants to let go of the people we love and cherish?

When my son was young, we saw "The Lion King." When we returned home, he wanted to know what "The Circle of Life" meant. I knew from the movie the simplest and most eloquent explanation for a young child to understand:

Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you must understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.

Young Simba: But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope?

Mufasa: Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connected in the great Circle of Life.

The answer seemed to quell his curiosity; it takes so little at that age. So I tucked the subject away since, at age 36, it wasn't a subject I cared to contemplate. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I would think about it another day.

As Baby Boomers, when we lose a loved one, we mourn their passing, yet we also begin to think about our mortality. It also serves as a clear reminder to tell those we love how we feel about them and how much they mean to us.

In high school, I read a book that was very influential on my school of thought: Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." The Austrian neurologist and Holocaust survivor left a lasting impression on me, chronicling his insights based on his experiences as a concentration camp inmate.

He discovered we must find meaning in all forms of our existence (which later became a part of existential therapy and a source of inspiration for humanistic psychologists) – no matter what they are, to find a reason to keep living.

"Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: Man's salvation is through love and in love. I understood how a man with nothing left in this world may still know bliss only briefly in contemplating his beloved." "For the first time in my life, I was able to understand the meaning of the words, 'The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.'" ~Viktor Frankel

As we move through our Second Chapter, we must have an honest yet often difficult conversation with ourselves about loss, death, and survival. From my perspective, I think it's vital to face these issues head-on because then – and only then - can we try to move forward and live our lives most vibrantly and healthily as possible.

I know my two loved ones want me to live fully and permanently and remember them with love and a smile. They are always with me. Here are some tips on dealing with grief from Medline Plus:

• Reach out to loved ones to talk about how you're feeling and what you're going through. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
• Try to resume your everyday routine quickly.
• Get plenty of exercise and sleep each day.
• Eat a healthy, nutritious diet.
• Don't turn to alcohol.
• Avoid making major decisions too soon after your loss.
• Acknowledge the emotions you are feeling. It's perfectly acceptable to cry, feel angry, or even numb.

 "Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair.
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen.
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer.
Here baby, there, momma, ev'rywhere, daddy, daddy -hair." ~From the musical Hair

John Lennon glasses were groovy and all the rage.

Even though I was young (8th grade), I wanted to look like my two best identical twin friends - long straight hair with little turned-up noses. We're still best friends, and today I know we're beautiful in who we are and are comfortable with our unique looks. They helped teach me that important lesson.

Long hair and a midriff - do you remember those?

College days of frizz and curls: I think there was a nest in my hair!

College Graduation

In the "What was I thinking?" category, this would be the winner. I needed a haircut before my appointment with the photographer, so  I asked my roommate, who was going through a period of being either bipolar or depressed, to cut my hair. This was the result. I was mortified. I think she was trying to tell me something.

My first vacation with my boyfriend (now husband). I thought I looked great; big hair was all the rage in the 80s. Ugh.

Making Peace

I've made peace with my hair, and now I embrace it. I am blessed to have hair that is unique to me and compliments the person I am. Being in our 50s, there's a calmness that comes with being comfortable with who we are and what we look like. Going down Memory Lane and looking at these photos makes me happy.

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DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

"Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life." ~Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Today is GIRL TIME. My boys are scouring the shelves of a marvelous Manhattan haunt they visit annually to stock up on jazz and rock CDs and old movies for me. So I declared today GIRL TIME. I'll use this time to write my blog, catch up on emails, work on writing assignments and catch up with girlfriends.

My girlfriends live in different parts of the country, and we try to chat whenever possible. Sometimes when I'm alone at home, I love making myself a cup of tea, lying on the couch with a blanket draped over me, and dialing up my friends. It always seems to conjure up memories of my old pal, the pink Princess phone I had as a teenager. Visualize Gidget on the phone in the privacy of her bedroom, squealing to her friends about how she loves Moondoggy. The only difference is that nowadays, our conversations revolve around how our children are faring in college and whether we'd read the latest AARP article on exercise.

"Time doesn't take away from friendship, nor does separation." ~Tennessee Williams

GIRL TIME is important to me. I feel invigorated when I finish my writing assignments and proud of my writing. I feel rejuvenated after speaking with my girlfriends, knowing the unbreakable bond we're committed to has continued after 43 years. Working and socializing is what makes me tick; it is what matters to me. 

I am blessed.

What makes you feel utterly satisfied after a day by yourself? Working? Socializing? Exercising? Volunteering? I'd love to hear your story and learn from you.

If you liked this post, please share it with others! Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT. SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under "Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered." 

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” ~John Bunyan

Last month I decided to make a public pledge to donate or volunteer to a different charity on the first Friday of each month – Philanthropy Friday.  I first read about this concept on the blog anotherjennifer and thought it was inspiring.

I’ve worked tirelessly on fundraisers for nonprofits and recently volunteered as a speaker for a health-related company. I advocate for my MS peers whenever asked – some people I've met and others I haven't.  Giving back always makes me feel good and gives me a sense I am doing something beyond myself.

Publicly declaring my intent to give back holds me accountable and creates awareness about a charity and its needs, allowing readers of An Empowered Spirit to learn and be inspired to pay it forward.  Consider donating or volunteering.  It doesn't matter the size or the cost - a check for $5, donating canned goods, or volunteering at a soup kitchen -  all are appreciated.

The true art is in the giving.  Helping another person (or animal) in a time of need is also a path toward helping yourself.

"We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give." ~Sir Winston Churchill

This month’s charity is The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. PCAN announced yesterday that President Obama signed The Recalcitrant Cancer Research Act into law.  This law will help to further research into Pancreatic Cancer’s low survival rate and work to provide early detection methods and better treatment options.  Nearly 44,000 Americans will be diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer this year, and more than 37,000 will die from this deadly disease. (Source: Pancreatic Cancer Action Network).

Read more about the new law and the critical and groundbreaking work of The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.

If you liked this post, please share it with others! Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT.  SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under “Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered.” 

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

"Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering 'it will be happier'..." ~Alfred Tennyson

New Year's Day 2013. I know how we are supposed to feel (renewed), how we are brought up to feel (joyful), and how I honestly feel (ambivalent).

The conversations we remember our parents having, and swore we'd never have, are the same ones we now cannot stop ourselves from having. I find myself shouting, "Did I say that, or was that my mother? "(My head spinning around like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist") Astonishing how brilliant our parents have become as we get older.

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib." ~Woody Allen

Is it only me, or do you also feel time is beginning to move more quickly? Life lessons are being thrown at me like a pitching machine throwing curveballs at 100 mph. The joys of being in our Second Chapter are joined by the inevitability of sadness and loss at a faster pace. Lately, I find myself feeling more sad than my usual perky self.

"Reality continues to ruin my life." ~Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin, and Hobbes

My entire family got hit with a stomach bug the day after Christmas (our "Herbmas"), and we made a toast with a toast to the New Year. Something about being in your pajamas early on New Year's Eve, watching an old movie while eating some Jell-O, and sipping hot water is so utterly unforgettable.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." ~Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Yet, despite a year of loss, grief, and sadness, I somehow found the ability to think outside of myself on this night.   I looked down at the three of us from above and saw three people – three loving family members – who, despite illness, were sharing the great privilege of celebrating another New Year's Eve together. Life didn't get in the way; it merely strengthened it.

"Where there is love, there is life." ~Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

That epiphany helped to raise my spirits; it was my New Year's gift to myself. Clichés such as "Celebrate what you have," "Live in the moment," and" Embrace those around you" are said again and again for a reason: they're true. Our Second Chapter can be a scary one, filled with unavoidable unknowns. I think about them more often than I used to, but I'll do whatever it takes to remain focused on my personal and professional goals. As Cat Stevens sang, "..and I'm on the road to find out."

Our next journey starts today. Where is your road leading you?

If you liked this post, please share it with others! Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT. SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under "Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered." 

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.