How My Laptop Can Help Me Break The Glass Ceiling Despite My Disability

 

“I choose not to place "DIS," in my ability.”~Robert M. Hensel

A prior blog post showed a photograph of a 1970s Smith Corona electric typewriter. Sometimes I miss using that powder blue piece of equipment. Today's "kids" don't understand what I mean when I talk about how much I loved my typewriter. I used to get a "tactile high" typing on each thick key, enjoying the sound of the clickety-clack noises and the clanging bell sounding off at the end of every line.  In college, I'd make extra money typing other students' assignments because no one else owned a typewriter! I know it seems strange, but I loved using the old girl.

Yet as much as I loved my typewriter, I love the convenience my laptop affords me even more. There’s the sleekness of the design, the innovative technology it provides, and the sexy empowerment I feel when I’ve mastered a new skill.

"I do indeed write on the road.  My laptop goes with me everywhere." ~Nora Roberts

The most important reason I love my laptop is that it opens the world to me without needing to leave the comfort of my home. When you have a disability, that’s a crucial reason.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the dark ages before computers.  My first memory of owning a desktop is when my son was seven years old, and we spent a few afternoons at the children's game store Zany Brainy, testing the latest and greatest computer programs for children. His favorite was Putt-Putt Saves The Zoo. Whenever I was tired, I’d sit next to him in front of our new Dell desktop, observing him maneuver that tiny purple car, desperately trying to save the zoo.  It was the perfect babysitter.

Jordan and me

As he got older, I worried whether I’d ever be able to return to work.  I couldn’t imagine holding down a full-time job or any job.  How could I work when my biggest MS complaint was a constant enemy of fatigue? (I’d describe this fatigue by asking you to imagine your worst flu symptoms, then multiplying that memory by 1000%.  Your body completely shuts down, leaving you unable to walk, talk or think clearly. Your only options are to rest or nap).

Today, having a laptop at my disposal allows me to work from home.  It provides endless work-related opportunities I would never have had a few years ago.  With my MacBook, I can be creative through my writing and get paid for my work. I can work on my blog at leisure and never worry that the boss may be watching.  I can take breaks when I need to, nap when I have to and work odd hours of the day and night.  It allows me to be a part of the world again, not merely watching it from the sidelines.

This past year I met an extraordinary group of women who share my love of writing and my commitment to enjoying my life after the age of 50.  We met on the Internet and have become fast friends.  They’ve unknowingly lifted me, helping me feel more “able” to continue writing what I’m passionate about while rekindling my faith in the kindness of strangers.

"If Lehman Brothers had been Lehman Sisters…" -Christine Lagarde, Managing Director of the IMF

Who knew that a laptop could give back to me what my autoimmune disease took away?  It’s a new world for disabled people, and my feet are finally dancing.

*NOTE: "Multiple sclerosis (or MS) is a chronic, often disabling disease that attacks the central nervous system (CNS), which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerves. Symptoms may be mild, such as numbness in the limbs, or severe, such as paralysis or loss of vision. The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS are unpredictable and vary from one person to another. Today, new treatments and advances in research are giving new hope to people affected by the disease."  Please contact The National Multiple Sclerosis Society for further information. (Resource: The National Multiple Sclerosis Society)

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DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from the use of this blog or any data or links provided

 

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Is it an honor just to be nominated? Not in these cases..

 

English: Cary Grant

This week The Huffington Post published an article about boomers who haven't won an Oscar. A few I think should have won, some I'm unfamiliar with, and several I disagree with deserve one. But they are all young enough to make quality films that may lead them toward an Oscar.

As a devotee of film classics, it baffles me why some of our greatest actors, actresses, and directors never won an Academy Award.  So I thought this would be the perfect time to indulge myself by airing my dirty laundry list of those snubbed by the Academy. I am sure they all had (or have) more class than I do, so I'll say this for them.  What were you thinking, Oscar?

At least some of them received Honorary Oscars.

Cary Grant was an extraordinary comic and dramatic actor who never won an Oscar.  He was nominated only twice. Despite starring in such luminous roles as "Bringing Up Baby," "Notorious," "North by Northwest," "To Catch a Thief," and "His Girl Friday." He was voted the Second Greatest Male Star of All Time by The American Film Institute and is my all-time favorite actor. He continues to take my breath away with his unique style, sophistication, and acting abilities.  Archie Leach holds a special place in my heart.  Shame on you, Oscar.

It is remarkable to think that one of the most gifted actors of all time (not to mention that sexy voice!) never won an Oscar.  Richard Burton was nominated seven times for such movies as "Becket," "The Robe," "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf," and "Equus" yet never brought home the coveted award.

Kirk Douglas received an Honorary Oscar in 1996 for fifty years as a creative and moral force in the film community.  He was nominated three times, including the movies "Lust for Life" and "The Bad and the Beautiful," but never won the award. (He was not nominated for my favorite Douglas film, "Spartacus," a film he produced and starred in).  He is arguably the last survivor of the "Golden Age" of Hollywood.

 

Montgomery Clift portrayed mainly a deep, brooding, and sensitive young man.  He was only 45 years old when he passed away.  If he had lived a whole life, he would have continued to tantalize us with his combination of good looks and unique acting abilities.  He was nominated for an Oscar four times in "The Search," "A Place in the Sun," "From Here to Eternity," and my personal favorite, his short yet powerful performance in "Judgement at Nuremberg."  It was Oscar-worthy for a supporting role.  Take a look and judge for yourself.

Alfred Hitchcock received the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award in recognition of his brilliant and distinctive body of work ("Psycho," "Rear Window," "Spellbound," "Notorious," "North by Northwest"). Bob Hope introduced him at the ceremony and presented by Robert Wise in the 40th Annual Academy Awards in 1968. He gave the best speech of all time, saying, "Thank you."

 

 For goodness sake, how could they pass over  Blake Edwards? BLAKE EDWARDS?? From "Operation Petticoat," "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and "Days of Wine and Roses" to all of the Pink Panther films right on down to "10" and "Victor, Victoria," Edwards deserved at least one award for the laughter, love, and honesty he shared with us.  In 2004, he received an Honorary Academy Award for his writing, directing, and producing an extraordinary body of work.

 What do you think of my list?  Is there anyone you think deserved an Academy Award but never got one?

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The Tender Care Of City Dwelling Dogs

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” ~Josh Billings

Photo Credit: www.petmd.com

Photo Credit: www.petmd.com

Last night my husband and I drove into Manhattan to have dinner with friends we hadn't seen in years.

We were excited because, aside from loving "the city," I had been friends with K since we worked together in the early 1980s.  She and her husband were true city dwellers by not owning a car and are well versed in the best neighborhood haunts for a good meal.

The scene was set, and we were excited. If you know New York City, you also know how rare it is to find a parking space on the street.  This alone can save you a bundle in parking garage fees.

The stars were aligned for us because that's precisely what happened.  We found a spot in front of Gristede's, two blocks from the restaurant.

As we read the street sign to ensure it was a legal space, a man walking his dog stopped in front of our car.  When I looked up, our eyes locked for a brief moment.  He then tied his dog to a pole directly across the front entrance of Gristede's.

One simple knot around the pole and this animal was forced to sit on a cold, dark sidewalk while his owner went shopping.

This is one of my pet peeves (sorry, but it's the only term that seemed appropriate) about NYC residents and their pets. Tying a dog to a pole or hydrant while the owner galavants inside a Gristede's or Starbucks or eats an entire dinner seems cruel.

Why do owners feel it necessary to bring their pet along only to tie it up?  This dog looked frightened (like so many others I've seen before), lonely, and pining away for its owner's swift return.

I waited a bit for the owner to come out of the store.  I wanted to ask him why he needed to bring his dog with him only to tie him up.  I wanted to ask whether he ever thought of the possibility that while he was busy shopping, a passerby could quickly kidnap his dog.

Who knows what would happen to this beautiful creature in someone else's hands?

My husband warned me not to get involved.  We needed to get to the restaurant, or we'd be late.  I acquiesced. I felt like a coward.

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.” ~Will Rogers

As I began to walk toward our destination, my eyes never left the dog.  Street litter of plastic bags and empty wrappers blew in the wind, circling his paws and face as he stood firm, waiting for his owner.

His sad eyes broke my heart.  I should have done something more.  But what could I do?

City pet owners need to take more responsibility for caring for their animals.  It seems as if it's trendy to own an animal in Manhattan (and perhaps in other metropolitan cities as well.)

Our furry friends should never become a trend like a pair of Manolo Blahnik's or the newest apple martini recipe. They should be cherished for the unconditional love they always give us and treated with the respect and dignity they deserve.

If you're going to own a dog in NYC, that's fine.  Manhattan offers countless places to walk your dog, from street to street walking on sidewalks to beautiful Central Park to neighborhood dog parks.

But if an owner needs to run errands, leave the dog at home.  They deserve to be treated with as much consideration and care as their owners.

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Valentine's Day Is A Day For Us To Enjoy Time With Those We Love with Music

"A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love." ~Max Muller

Valentine's Day as a child always meant exchanging cute pixie cards in a box of 30 for a few dollars.  I addressed one for every student in my class.  Mom always helped as if it were an important school project.

It was exciting when the teacher announced class that it was time to exchange our valentines.  We'd reach inside our desks, grab the cards and hand them out.  I always felt a certain nervousness after I was done.  I'd slowly go back to my desk and sheepishly look through my valentines, wondering whether someone would reveal a new crush.  Would I read a quick note about a new love?  Or would I be rejected by someone who neglected to hand me a Valentine?  Tension and wonder hung heavy in the air.  Those were exciting times.

Since then, I don't get too excited about Valentine's Day, except for the topic of love.  I'm a sucker for romance.

"I love romance.  I'm a sucker for it.  I love it so much.  It's pathetic." ~Drew Barrymore

I agree with the school of thought that Valentine's Day is a vast Hallmark holiday. I think it's a bunch of nonsense to exchange lavish gifts to let someone know you love them.

Love is an emotion of deep affection and personal attachment.  Because of this, I also believe that Valentine's Day is a day that reminds us to stop and tell the people we love how much they mean to us. To celebrate, try this simple recipe: play beautiful and meaningful music, share a lovely meal, open a bottle of fine wine, and savor the company of someone (or people) you love.

"If music be the food of love, play on." ~William Shakespeare

I believe in the power of music and how it can transform the biggest curmudgeon into a Cary Grant.  So in honor of Valentine's Day, I offer you a few pieces that, over the years, brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with love.  I hope you enjoy them (they can be found on YouTube) and also fill your heart with love.

My Celebrity Crush: How Teen Love Evolved Into Admiration For Alphonso D'Abruzzo

The year: 1972.  The political backdrop: The Vietnam War, Watergate and passage of The Equal Rights Amendment in the Senate.  The place: Somewhere in suburban New Jersey. The girl: A 13 year old creating her own Utopia through books, movies and television.  The show that left a permanent mark in her heart: M*A*S*H.

The man who stole her heart: Alphonso Joseph D'Abruzzo, a tall, handsome actor who turned the world on with his smile (sorry, Mary). He stole her heart the minute she laid eyes on him; his eyes twinkled each time he smiled. Sigh.

Alphonso D'Abruzzo

Alda as Hawkeye

By now you know I’m talking about my celebrity crush.  The one I had, and still have, on Alan Alda.

“No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong, gentle and good, without the world being better for it, without somebody being helped and comforted by the very existence of that goodness.” ~Alan Alda

His peerless acting ability allowed me to feel the pain, frustration – and, yes, the comedy - of being an army doctor during The Korean “Conflict”.  He carved a permanent place in my heart as I watched him every Sunday night as I lay on my parent’s orange and yellow bedspread in front of our 19 inch Zenith television.

Alphonso D'Abruzzo

My personal collection: 11 seasons of M*A*S*H

As I began to learn more about him, I decided the role he played, as Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce, wasn’t the only part of him that I loved. I also admired Alan Alda, the man, who was a devoted husband and father.  The filming of M*A*S*H took place in California, yet instead of uprooting his family he flew home to New Jersey every weekend to be with his wife and three young daughters.  You have to admire a man for that.

I once heard him interviewed and asked the same tired question, “How do you maintain a long and happy marriage?” He quipped, “People ask me that all the time.  I don’t get what the big deal is.  I love my wife. I’d rather be with her than any other person in the world.  If we’re at a party, I always know she’ll be the most interesting person in the room.” How can I not adore a guy who is passionately in love with his wife?

“When does she do all this thinking?  We’re together all the time but she thinks deeply about things and with feeling and she can remember the facts.  We’ve been married 48 years.” ~Alan Alda

My admiration and respect grew deeper as he became an activist for women’s rights.  According to Wikipedia, “Alda has been a feminist activist for many years.  He co-chaired, with former First Lady Betty Ford, the Equal Rights Amendment Countdown campaign. In 1976,The Boston Globe dubbed him "the quintessential Honorary Woman: a feminist icon" for his activism on behalf of the Equal Rights Amendment.” A man fighting for women’s rights because he believes it's the right thing to do.  How can I not admire this man?

Alphonso d'Abruzzo

Free To Be..You And Me

In 1972 Mr. Alda directed stories and poems, and narrated sketches, for the album “Free To Be…You and Me”, an album produced to encourage gender neutrality in young people.   His friend, Marlo Thomas, conceived the idea and asked Alda to come on board.  He was the perfect choice.

“The creative is the place where no one else have ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.” ~Alan Alda

Alphonso d'Abruzzo

Two meaningful books in my library

My celebrity crush began like most schoolgirl crushes, with romanticized love about a dashing older man.  Yet my crush evolved into one of respect and admiration for a man who touched many lives in countless ways; he certainly added a rich fiber to my own.  He never ceases to amaze me with each role he commands. Whether he’s acting, writing, hosting or speaking, he creates brilliance for us as his audience.

His most recent project is creating excitement for young people for one of his great loves: the wonders of science*. Now a new generation is discovering what I discovered long ago: that we are all the beneficiaries of the many talents and passions of Alan Alda.

Thank you Alphonso, with admiration and love.

Alphonso d'Abruzzo

*To learn more about the science center Alan Alda helped to inspire, go to the Center for Communicating Science at Stony Brook University)

 

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Feel free to share this post with others. Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT.  SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under “Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered.” 

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

How My Birthday Taught Me More Reasons To Be Grateful

Events of the past two days gave me pause to ponder all the blessings in my life. In a world filled with tragedy, violence, and sadness, I think it's crucial, now more than ever, to step back and think of everything we are grateful for.  It's a powerful and essential exercise.  Take a few minutes and think about what makes you grateful.  What helps you feel joyful, blessed, and ready to tackle each day?  Here's what I'm grateful for as I begin living and loving the following year of my life:

The Chesters

The Chesters

My family keeps me happy and grounded.  They provide unconditional love and support for me in living my passion.  We hold each other up through every joy and sorrow.  I can't imagine what my life would have been like without them.

My loving parents

Friends for 50+ years

Friends for 50+ years

IMG_2260_2

Friends for 50+ years

My friends from childhood.  From playing kick-the-can and surviving a roster of boyfriends, menopause, and living miles apart, we are strong, vibrant women facing life together. (Let me add we are all kicking ass, too!) I am grateful for them and for all the friends I have, both near and far.  They each empower me.

Newton

Newton

IMG_0871

Max

IMG_2225

Smokey

Whitey

I am grateful for the day my 9-year-old son insisted we get a cat.  I never had a pet, so I was pretty hesitant.  Eleven years later, I can't imagine my life without them.  At the end of a gritty, horrible day, those furry creatures give you instant love and lift you.

My birthday blizzard!

My birthday blizzard!

IMG_2312

My birthday blizzard!

I am grateful we didn't lose our electricity during my birthday blizzard like we did during Hurricane Sandy.

I am grateful for my books and love of reading.

I am grateful for my crazy CD collection of old sitcoms that help me relax and  "de-stress" while taking a break from reading. My eyes need a rest!

John Lennon Glasses were groovy

John Lennon glasses were groovy

I am grateful for the invention of contact lenses.

I am grateful for more than 5 hours of sleep a night.  What does that feel like?  Thanks, menopause...

My peonies

My peonies

I am grateful for the beauty around me during the changing seasons.

I am incredibly grateful to my blog, An Empowered Spirit, and the path it has led me down toward new horizons, new friendships, and the wonderful audience - YOU - in my Second Chapter.  Thank you all for being a part of why I am grateful.

What Rod Serling, The Dude and Russell Baker Taught Me About Making Time To Read

“Witness Mr. Henry Bemis, a charter member in the fraternity of dreamers.  A bookish little man whose passion is the printed page.  But it was conspired against by a bank president and a wife and a world full of tongue cluckers and the unrelenting hand of a clock.” ~Rod Serling, The Twilight Zone (Time Enough at Last)

I often wonder how I’ll find enough time to keep up with the countless articles, newspapers, emails, texts, journals, magazines, and books that constantly glare at me from my tremendous, messy pile in the corner of my desk. That pile haunts me. I harbor guilt over my inability to tackle it.  How do I balance my reading list and the daily responsibilities of my work and family life?

Sometimes I see myself as Henry Bemis, Rod Serling’s masterful character, which Burgess Meredith brilliantly portrayed in The Twilight Zone episode “Time Enough At Last.” Mr. Bemis is a simple, nearsighted bank clerk whose greatest wish is to have time to read all the great classics in literature quietly. His passion becomes endlessly annoying to his employer, wife, and the customers at the bank.  He is desperate to find a quiet place to read without being interrupted.  One day he grabs a book and a newspaper, enters the empty bank vault, and shuts the heavy door behind him.

After finishing his book, he turns to his newspaper and reads the headline, “H Bomb Capable of Total Destruction.”  You guessed it.  While in the vault, the world is destroyed, and he is its only survivor.

After walking among the ruins of his town, his first reaction is to commit suicide.  What would he do for the rest of his life with all the time he had on his hands?  His grief instantly turns to joy after stumbling onto the contents of the town’s public library.  He loudly proclaims, “And the best thing of all is there’s time now.  There’s all the time I need.  And all the time I want.”

Okay, I’m not exactly like Henry Bemis (except for being very nearsighted), but you get my point.

I have three books I’ve wanted to read on my nightstand for some time now.  One is a selection from my book club (The Paris Wife) - a meeting that occurred last week, and I couldn't attend.  I haven’t finished the book and was too busy for the meeting.  The second is a book of American religious poems my beloved uncle sent me (I read a little at a time).  The other is Jeff Bridges' new book, “The Dude and the Zen Master.” I love The Dude, and I love books on spirituality.  Hopefully, my love of “The Big Lebowski” will rid me of guilt over not starting the book.

On my desk are approximately 30 newsletters, magazines, and articles (AARP newsletters, MORE magazine, dozens of health-related newsletters, and an MS quarterly) that I thought would prove helpful while writing various articles and blog posts.

In my Google inbox are thousands of emails I never deleted.  Why? When I quickly scan the title, I think, “That sounds interesting” or, “This may enhance my blog.” “Measuring Social Media: How to Determine Your SOI,” "Best Apps for Taking, Editing and Organizing Photos,” and “Buddhism: Are You Limiting Yourself?” are just some of what is stuffing my inbox and slowing down my computer.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” ~Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!  

As a writer, I know the best gift I can give myself is to read, read, and read constantly. Writers write about what they know and what they learn.  Their minds are always actively pursuing the next brilliant article, perfect post.  Ideas and storylines consume our consciousness like a dress rehearsal for a one-act play, tweaking and rewriting stories until we are ready to write.

I grew up the product of two parents who are voracious readers.  They read everything from the classics to world history to modern fiction.  My father can quote Shakespeare; my mother loves British literature.  When they ask me what I am reading, I sheepishly explain “WordPress for Dummies” and defend myself by adding, “But I’m still reading my daily New York Times.”  Their incredulous look says it all.

I once read an article about Russell Baker, the famous columnist who, when watching a baseball game, noticed a pre-game interview of an author who had recently published a 300-page novel.  The interviewer asked how people could read her long book since they were pressed for time.  Mr. Baker found this amusing, considering viewers were about to watch a 3-hour baseball game.

Well, Mr. Baker, you indeed were right.  So here’s my list of ways to conquer my reading list in 2013:

  1. Schedule a daily reading time.
  2. Organize what I want to read (journals, newsletters, emails) and make deadlines for when I want to be finished.  (I won’t give myself deadlines for books I’m reading for pleasure.)
  3. Set up a reading area where there are no distractions.
  4. Know when to give up on a book, article, or newsletter.  If I’m not interested, or an email has been in my inbox for months, or it won’t benefit my personal or professional needs, get rid of it.
  5. Define my “time wasters” and get rid of them.  Limit my time on social media (we all know how hard that is.) Journal how I spend my time in one day. This will help me discover how to use my time better.  (Journaling can be helpful in many areas of our life, and this is no exception.)
  6. Breathe.  Life is about the journey, and enjoying what I read is as important as what I read. 
  7. Don’t take this all too seriously (and stop the guilt!), or I’ll miss the whole point of reading.  It should, first and foremost, be pleasurable, always educational, and endlessly rewarding.

Getting back to Henry Bemis, as he grabs his first book to begin his long journey of uninterrupted reading, his glasses fall to the ground, shattering the lenses.  He is unable to read and begins to cry.  “This is not fair. This is not fair at all.”  No, Henry, it isn’t fair.  But, as Rod Serling surmises, Henry is “just a fragment of what Man has deeded to himself.” Aye, there's the rub.

Let’s take a lesson from Henry and give ourselves time to enjoy what we read, cherish the journey, and appreciate our lives with our loved ones - real and fictional.

 

Feel free to share this post with others. Click the REPLY button to leave a COMMENT.  SUBSCRIBE by clicking on the SUBSCRIBE button. Check out past posts under “Recent Posts to Keep You Empowered.”

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not instead of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.

 

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