Book Review: Arlene Alda's "Just Kids From The Bronx" (Includes Interview)

I introduced myself to Arlene Alda at a recent event I attended that featured her husband as guest speaker. I was interested in her and her upcoming book, "Just Kids from the Bronx: An Oral History: Telling It the Way It Was."

Arlene Alda

Abe Rosenthal. Carl Reiner. Martin Bregman. Leon Fleisher. Lawrence Saper. Mary Higgins Clark. Jules Feiffer. David Yarnell. Milton Glaser. Mildred S. Dresselhaus. Regis Philbin. George Shapiro and Howard West. Mark Cash. Arlene Alda. Michael Brescia. Emanuel Azenberg. Avery Corman. I.C. Rapoport. Colin Powell. Lloyd Ultan. Dion DiMucci. Barbara Nessim.

I was nervous. I guess partly because I've long admired Mrs.Alda for her many accomplishments. She received the prestigious Fulbright Scholarship and realized her dream of becoming a professional clarinetist. She played in the Houston Symphony with Leopold Stokowski, raised three daughters and changed career paths by becoming an award-winning photographer and author.

So I was thrilled to have a chance meet her, if only for a few short moments.

To her I was a complete stranger, so I didn't know what to expect as I tapped her on her shoulder. She couldn't have been nicer, and I immediately felt at ease.

She listened with keen interest as I recited the elevator speech I'd been practicing all day, the one about my mother who was about her age and was also born in the Bronx. I told her that as a child I was more interested in hearing stories from my father about his escape from Germany than I was hearing my mother recite stories about being born in the Bronx.

Arlene Alda

Mrs. Alda's book will change all of that, Mom!

Her book of childhood recollections, including her own ("We lived in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment. Mother, father, older sister, older brother, the mutt fox terrier Spotty, and me") collectively constructs a loving portrait of a borough, despite its difficulties, that bred countless residents who not only contributed to society in extraordinary ways, but who also felt a common love for their beloved Bronx.

Al Pacino. Robert F. Levine. Suzanne Braun Levine. Steve Janowitz. Margaret M. O'Brien, S.C. Joyce Hansen. Robert Klein. Julian Schlossberg. Anonymous. Rick Meyerowitz. Joel Arthur Rosenthal. Millard S. Drexler. Andy Rosenzweig. Kenneth. S. Davidson. Daniel Libeskind. Valerie Simpson. Arthur Klein. Dava Sobel. Robert F.X. Sillerman. Maira Kalman.  

Every vignette is a true gem, bringing us back to our own childhood when we'd sit on our front stoop to listen to our grandmother's childhood stories. These stories are truly American, and because the Bronx gave birth to so many creative influencers, by the end of the book you'll wish you were born there too:

Abe Rosenthal (Former Executive Editor of the New York Times) recalls his parents as "pioneers" who moved from the tenements in the Lower East Side of Manhattan to Decatur Avenue in the Bronx.

Funnyman Carl Reiner recalls his love of comedy being sparked by a family of funny people who accepted humor as an important force in life.

Boyhood friends George Shapiro and Howard West (agents, producers and personal managers) recall suffering along with the underdogs, the Brooklyn Dodgers, until the color barrier was broken by the great Jackie Robinson.

Melvin Glober (Grandmaster Melle Mel, award-winning rap artist) who narrowly escaped being on the wrong side of the law because he listened to his sage mother, his strict teacher and his own inner intelligence.

Sam Goodman. Chazz Palminteri. Daniel Hauben. Louise Sedotto. Steve Jordan. Neil deGrasse Tyson. Michael R. Kay. Melvin Glover. Jaime Rodriguez Jr. Luis A. Ubinas. Bobby Bonilla. Sotero Ortiz, Wilfredo Feliciano and Hector Nazario (members of Tats Cru). Majorca Carter. Carlos J. Serrano. Renee Hernandez. Ruben Diaz Jr. Jemina R. Bernard. Amar Ramasar. Gabrielle Salvatto. Erik Zeidler.

This book was an enjoyable read and I'd highly recommend it to every reader. It's not only a portrait of America, but it illustrates that if you hold on tight to your dreams you can make anything happen.

After reading "Just Kids from the Bronx" I had a few questions I wanted to ask Mrs. Alda. She graciously agreed to answer them:

CC: The impressive array of people who grew up in the Bronx leads me to believe there are many more stories that need to be told. Did you have to turn anyone away who wanted to be included in your book? Were there stories you wanted to acquire but were unable to?

AA: There are definitely many more stories to be told. This is just the tip of the iceberg. The interviewing for the book started in such a random fashion. I initially had no idea as to who should or would be in "Just Kids From the Bronx." I started by talking with the CEO of J.Crew, Millard (Mickey) Drexler, who grew up in the same building as I did in the Allerton Avenue section of the Bronx. Going back to our apartment building, the Mayflower, with Mickey was the starting point for my wanting to collect stories from other accomplished Bronxites. I started slowly and cautiously by interviewing and talking with other people I knew who were Bronxites of some prominence. After just a few interviews, I realized I was painting myself into a comfortable corner. Who were the people I didn’t know? And who were the younger people who grew up  in the Bronx…what were their stories? How were the changes in the Bronx over the years reflected in the lives of those who grew up decades after I did? Once I started those explorations, I was on my way to covering ground that rounded out a compelling story of decades of growing up in the Bronx, with all the changes those decades implied.

Most people didn’t know that I was working on "Just Kids From the Bronx," so the issue of turning people away was hardly a major one. I don’t think people were knocking on my door to be in the book. I had to go out and look for them.

A few of the prominent people I would love to have interviewed were Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Edgar Doctorow and Kerry Washington, but those interviews didn’t happen. A loss on all counts.

CC: As a busy wife, mother, grandmother, and someone who has always followed her passions, is there any advice you'd give to women on maintaining a sense of balance in their lives?

AA: From my own perspective as that of a married woman with children, I think it took me years to find my equilibrium. I was not a good juggler, so when my kids were little I spent their early years putting my own profession on the back burner. I didn’t know how to apportion time to them and a budding actor/husband and also to me. What I found out over the years is one simple truth. You can’t have everything all at once, but if you can get your priorities in order, you can have a good shot at "doing your own thing" in due time. You have to be lucky, though. Having a good supportive spouse helps a lot! The old cliche also  applies: Patience is a virtue.  There are never any guarantees for success, but maybe a warranty that lasts a few years? That’s not bad either.

CC: Many of my readers are midlife bloggers/writers. Can you offer any writing tips?

AA: I’m not sure I have writing tips, having  come to writing as a third career choice. (Music, photography and then writing.) But here goes anyway. Writing is a process. Writing is a skill. Writing is an art. It can come from your head and/or your heart. Write every day, even if it’s a sentence or a paragraph. One thought leads to another. Whenever I write anything, and that includes this email, I let it sit for awhile, and then I edit like crazy, but I don’t edit while I'm in the throes of getting it out. I let it sit. Editing comes later. A question I always ask myself when writing is, ”Why am I telling you this?”and “Am I telling it in the best way possible?”  If you can honestly answer those questions to your own satisfaction, then that’s a great start. There’s the old Shakespeare character of Polonius in Hamlet, who, in giving advice to his son, says, “...and to thine own self be true.” Even though Polonius is often described as a foolish old man, his advice seems pretty good to me.

That seems pretty good to us, too, Mrs. Alda. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

Arlene Alda's book "Just Kids from the Bronx" will be on sale beginning March 3. You can order your copy here. All author proceeds will go to several children's organizations located in the Bronx.

NOTE: I received a free copy of "Just Kids from the Bronx" from Henry Holt and Company. All opinions, as always, are solely my own.

#1000Speak: My True Stories Of Compassion And How 1,000 Bloggers Will Change The World

Today is United Nations World Day of Social Justice, and over one thousand bloggers worldwide will join their voices to speak through their blogs about compassion. I am one of them. Let's flood the blogosphere with compassion, kindness, non-judgement and good! Please use hashtag #1000Speak to help spread the word.

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 My Three Stories of Compassion

The kittens and their mother were barely surviving after being left to fend for themselves on a tiny piece of cold concrete used for a "U-turn" sign on a busy highway. The dedicated rescuer cautiously approached them despite the speeding cars rushing by. She scooped them up into her loving arms, and brought them to the local shelter where eventually they were adopted.

Compassion.

The young boy was taunted relentlessly at school. The crowd of bullies never understood that what is seen with the eye is never the sum total of who a person is. Running wildly to escape the anger of the gathering mob, he could not depend on his nearsightedness to avoid the stop sign he collided with. The crowd gasped in horror, and a brave girl stepped forward to help him to his feet and walk him home. Her understanding heart taught him that not everyone is ignorant.

Compassion.

The young nurse was witness to heartbreaking stories of patients being turned away because they were unable to pay for the care they needed. She saw the look of desperation in their eyes and when it became too much she silently said to herself that enough was enough. She opened a new center, one where patients could seek treatment from qualified doctors, nurses and therapists despite their ability to pay. She changed the climate of care centers where every patient matters, and each one is treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Compassion.

These true stories are about people I respect and admire who not only possess compassion but use it to make a difference in the world.  

In a world where violence and intolerance are on the rise, where bigotry, partisanship and anger are front page news, we need compassion now more than ever.

Compassion is defined as "sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others" but it's so much more. It's putting yourself in someone else's shoes before passing judgement. It's putting someone else's needs ahead of your own. It's taking action to make someone else's life easier, safer or better.

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I believe the world would be a better place if we all realized how interconnected we all really are. In a recent issue of Philosophy Now, Professor Michael Allen Fox wrote:

"Compassion hinges on the realization that we’re all in the same boat. We all share a common existential situation to the extent that humans (and nonhumans) are vulnerable and, at a very basic level, quest after security and an environment in which to flourish biologically and to pursue some form of fulfillment. We are therefore as much in need of compassionate treatment from others as they are from us."

It's time to join the movement!! One where kindness is the only answer. Being non-judgmental is the only behavior. And compassion is the rule.

NOTE: Many thanks to the compassionate bloggers Yvonne Spence and Lizzi Rogers who gave birth to #1000Speak. It is their vision to turn the blogosphere on its ear by jamming social media with GOOD.

compassion

 

How To Create A Brilliant List To Maintain A Brilliant Life

I can't imagine my 56th birthday being more brilliant. Spending an entire day in the company of my husband and son while having their undivided attention -  no Sports Center, stock tickers, political arguments or social media - was something I was more than looking forward to.

In our family the birthday girl or boy chooses how they want to spend their special day. More times than not I've wanted to do something cultural in Manhattan. So I gave my husband a list of plays I wanted to see, and he and my son took care of the rest.

Every Brilliant Thing

We went to the small theatre-in-the-round, the Barrow Street Theatre, to see the creative and interactive one-man show, "Every Brilliant Thing." The play is about a young boy growing up who does his best to distract his suicidal mother by creating a list of joyful things that make life worth living.

This hour-long play stars the charmingly funny Brit Jonny Donohoe who creates a character that is bright, funny and engaging, something that's not easy to do considering the subject at hand. Yet Donohoe handily succeeds.

As an emotionally damaged boy who never stops searching for a happier life, we, the audience, interact with the story according to the lines and roles Donohoe assigns us when we first take our seats. His poignant and honest depiction of how suicide affects a family makes us laugh and cry as we remain ever hopeful that both mother and son will survive intact.

(Not to give too much away, but our favorite brilliant thing on the character's list was, "Christopher Walken's voice....and hair." Ha!)

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Like any dedicated blogger, as I sat and watched the play my mind began to race.  How could I write about brilliant lists for my blog? Then it dawned on me: Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone would create their own brilliant list? A list that would make them feel happy to write and joyful to read?

Your list will never be finished, because as we age and experience more and more life lessons, we add our positive experiences to our brilliant list. Just like the main character in the play, there are thousands and thousands of reasons why every brilliant thing we love - everything that makes our heart sing or brings a smile to our face - makes a positive difference in our lives.

So on days when you're having some self-doubt or perhaps feeling a little sad, you'll have your brilliant list to comfort you. It will serve as a reminder of the things that matter most -  the simple joys that make life worthwhile.

Here are some things that are on my brilliant list. In the comments below I'd love to read what's on your brilliant list. Remember, there is no right or wrong. It's whatever feels brilliant to you!

What's on your brilliant list?

 

Help Shelter Pets By Joining Actress Bellamy Young And The Shelter Pet Project

I love when people say they learn lessons from their children, because I quite agree. I've learned so much from my son.

The one lesson that stands out in my mind is how his love for animals transferred over to me.

It's not that I didn't love animals before my son was born because I did. But I had no experience having a pet, and to make matters worse my husband told tales about his childhood cat, Timmy, who would proudly bring home headless chipmunks for the family to see. Yuck.

So when our son began an all-out campaign to adopt a cat I was hesitant. I loved our cozy life with just the three of us, and couldn't imagine adding a furry creature to our home.

In the end my son won and I'll always be grateful to him that he did. Our first visit to our local no-kill shelter is a day I'll never forget because, like the Grinch, my heart grew three times that day.

JordanMaxCondo

First came our ginger cat, Max. Then a few months later Newton, our gorgeous tabby. Today at 12 years old they are like brothers, endlessly entertaining and always a joy to be around.

MaxNewton

A few years later came Whitey, a beautiful gray and white feral cat someone obviously lost or left behind (he was already neutered.) Whitey begged at our back door to become part of our family and we willingly obliged. We had four magical years with that sweetie-pie.

MaxWhitey

Two years ago we adopted Smokey, our gorgeous Russian Blue. Rescued from the streets of Newark, Smokey was fostered and then brought to a craft show with other adoptable cats. Once I "met" her I knew she belonged in our home. She's bright, sweet and motherly to Max and Newton.

Smokey

When our son entered high school he began volunteering at our shelter. He loved doing his part to get every animal adopted into a loving forever home.

Today I try to do whatever I can to spread awareness about the importance of shelter pet adoption, to advocate for animal rights and to put a stop to kill shelters.

That's why I'm thrilled to spread awareness about The Shelter Pet Project (#ShelterPetLove) and offer some ways you can get involved, too. Our furry friends need our help!

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Each year approximately 3-4 million pets are adopted from shelter and rescue groups, but 2.4 million healthy and treatable pets still need our help to find a home each year.

I’m reaching out to you on behalf of The Shelter Pet Project, a collaborative effort between The Humane Society of the United States, Maddie’s Fund®, and the Ad Council, to ask for your support.

The goal of The Shelter Pet Project is to make shelters and rescue groups the first place people turn when looking to get a new pet.

Actress Bellamy Young, who plays First Lady Mellie Grant on NBC’s “Scandal,” in partnership with the Shelter Pet Project, stars in a new online video featuring her adopted dog Bean and adopted cat Sadie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4hhORQZTbE

The video helps break down misconceptions surrounding shelter pets and spreads the word that pets in shelters are wonderful and lovable.

In the video, Bellamy says, “Adoption is very near and dear to my heart” and encourages those who are thinking about pet adoption to take the next step and experience a “love unlike anything you’ve ever known.”

Millions of people are looking to acquire a pet within the next year. Will you help us show potential adopters that they can provide loving homes for shelter and rescue pets?

Here are a few simple ways you can help:

Share the new “Meet My Shelter Pet” video featuring Bellamy Young:https://www.youtube.com/embed/p4hhORQZTbE

Write a blog post about The Shelter Pet Project:  Encourage your readers to visit TheShelterPetProject.org, where they can “meet” shelter pets through an interactive experience, search for a dog or cat from a local shelter or rescue group, read adoption success stories, and learn valuable information about pet adoption.

Did you adopt/rescue your dog or cat? Share your #shelterpetlove. Share a photo or video of your shelter pet in a blog post and/or social media update. Tag posts with #shelterpetlove to encourage people to visitTheShelterPetProject.org to learn more about pet adoption. By sharing how your shelter pet enhances your life, you can show people who may be hesitant to pick a shelter pet just how rewarding it is to adopt.

Please tag The Shelter Pet Project on the appropriate channel (i.e. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and use #shelterpetlove when sharing!
https://www.facebook.com/ShelterPetProject
https://twitter.com/shelterpets
http://www.pinterest.com/shelterpets
http://instagram.com/shelterpetproject

 

Our Trip To A Beautiful Sanctuary That Rescues, Protects And Preserves Wildlife

I've been visiting my in-laws in Florida once a year ever since they purchased their condo in 1987. We're as comfortable and familiar with the area they live in as we are at home in New Jersey.

We have a number of places we always visit while we're there, but during our last visit we added a new one: Busch Wildlife Sanctuary in Jupiter, a nonprofit reserve dedicated to the conservation and protection of Florida's wildlife and natural resources.

wildlife

After we arrived at the Welcome Center one of the volunteers warmly greeted us and explained the mission and layout of the preserve. He handed us pamphlets to guide us on our tour, and then answered my animal-loving questions.

wildlife

Photo Credit: Wildlife Times and Peeking Panther buschwildlife.org

We learned that the Sanctuary has a wildlife hospital where it cares for sick, injured or orphaned wild animals - over 5,000 every year. After receiving appropriate medical care they are rehabilitated and released back into the wild.

This parrot was as entertaining as it was beautiful. What gorgeous colors! I was smitten.

This parrot was as entertaining as it was beautiful. What gorgeous colors! I was smitten. (NOTE: All cages in the sanctuary are roomier than they appear in my photos.)

Unfortunately we also learned that some animals become permanent residents after being illegally owned and harmed. They are unable to return to the wild, so they live their lives out at the preserve. They are well cared for.

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These two panthers were rescued from someone who illegally "adopted" them and had them declawed. The panthers are now permanent residents at the preserve. I wouldn't want to run into them, but I'll fight for their right to live free and unharmed.

(Editor's Note: Some people are just plain crazy! Owning and declawing panthers? For what purpose? Shame on them. We were told they were caught and prosecuted.)

Since 1981 the sanctuary offers educational programs for people of all ages to learn about the importance of maintaining safety when coming into contact with wild animals, and how to protect the natural resources of Florida.

wildlife

I watched this parrot as he took care of his friend who was in need of some TLC. Isn't nature incredible?

When we left the Welcome Center and began walking along the nature trails we were immediately struck by the quiet and calm of the preserve.

wildlifeEach trail is clearly marked, and we decided to take our time by making a loop around the entire area so we could visit all of the animals.

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Aren't they adorable? (L) Red Barred Hawk (R) Owl

The beauty of pine flatwoods, oak hammocks and cypress wetlands surrounded us as we walked the grounds to view a wide variety of animals  - from eagles, parrots and owls to panthers, bears, crocodiles and bobcats.

wildlife

I will never grow tired of tropical plantings. They have a beauty all their own.

My family's love of animals goes beyond cats and dogs. It wraps itself around all creatures who roam our planet. That's why we fell in love with the work being done at Busch Wildlife Sanctuary who nurture and protect all animals from further harm.

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The beautifully majestic eagle.

If you find yourself in the Jupiter area, do yourself a favor and visit this extraordinary sanctuary. You can visit their website to learn more about them. They are a 501(c) 3 organization and receive no funds from the government so they depend on financial support from caring people. They charge no fee but donations are accepted. (I purchased a T-shirt from their gift shop to show my support for their important work.)

Any donations of services, materials or your time are always needed and welcome.

wildlife

Any outing with my husband and son must include a delicious meal, and this was no exception. After researching Yelp.com for restaurant reviews we decided on Captain Charlies Reef Grill in nearby Juno Beach. Their creative selections of all types of fresh fish, some we don't get at home, were delicious. So if you're planning on visiting Busch Wildlife Sanctuary I highly recommend stopping by Captain Charlies for lunch. Enjoy!

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Delicious, mouth-watering fish from Captain Charlies Reef Grill in Juno Beach

 

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