Comments on: Four Valuable Ways To Help Someone With Chronic Illness

By: shifrachester@gmail.com

shifrachester@gmail.com — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 22:09:11 +0000

I wish I could, Tres, but it's not so easy. Life has been within these walls these last few weeks where I (temporarily) live. Life is flying by outside the door. I'm am not a part of life at this moment except through my work and my boys. Joy, for the moment, escapes me. I do wish we lived closer. Your smile would help a lot. With love, Cathy

By: Tresa Miller

Tresa Miller — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 12:21:34 +0000

Cat, find your Joy. I know it's in there! I love you, Tres

By: Lois Alter Mark

Lois Alter Mark — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 22:27:54 +0000

Sending you lots of love and wishing I could just stop by and pay you a visit. xoxo

By: Carol Cassara

Carol Cassara — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 20:26:01 +0000

It's amazing to me that people will say "call me if you need anything" instead of just reaching out. Which is more likely to be effective.

By: janet tancredi

janet tancredi — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 20:09:42 +0000

Well, I will once again try to submit my comment. I hope it is received! With tears running down my face, I read your post. Not out of sadness, but out of comfort. Just knowing, you are not alone with being a part of the chronic illness club. How can those fortunate enough live without such an affliction be expected to understand? Not void of compassion, just experience. Life has a way of just getting in the way of time. I look forward to reading your posts and your insights. I am an avid fan! I need to become computer savvy so I can share your words!

By: Beth @GrannyBeth3

Beth @GrannyBeth3 — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 18:45:33 +0000

The hardest of the four is consistency.

By: Judy Freedman

Judy Freedman — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 18:33:42 +0000

Hope you are feeling better. A few of my yoga students have MS and I feel like a know more about it because of your blog and all that you share. Wish you lived closer so I could do restorative yoga with you. Sending healing vibrations your way.

By: Karen Austin

Karen Austin — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 16:55:41 +0000

Cathy: My mom has a chronic disease (Epstein-Barr), and I keep forgetting the phrase, "How are you?" can be really complicated. What works best is for me to just listen and to refrain from giving any advice. And it helps for me to believe her experience instead of saying things like, "You don't look sick." or "Your illness seems to come and go. Is it psycho-somatic." I feel bad for her. I also try not to define her by her illness but by her accomplishments, talents, personality and passions. It really stinks that she has to work around her illness. All my best to people living chronic illness. Hugs for the hard things and high fives for the victories, big and small.

By: Helene Cohen Bludman

Helene Cohen Bludman — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 15:17:42 +0000

I'm so glad you wrote this, Cathy. Sometimes it is hard to know the right thing to do. Your suggestions are good ones and easily done. Wishing you well on your road to recovery, my friend. xoxo

By: Terry Palardy

Terry Palardy — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 13:01:59 +0000

Hi Cathy, "I want you to feel better." That's a well intentioned statement, but poses a direct challenge to one who knows that better is not ahead, and certainly not just around the corner. "Are you having a good time?" In the midst of a family gathering with too many voices, perhaps too many unknown significant others for now, or just too much movement to allow comfort, it is hard and often impossible to verbally answer that question with any semblance of truth. "You are doing too much, and you ought to stay home and rest more." or, "You are dong too much, and you're doing that to avoid family times." We do make choices. There are things we can do. You are a writer and spend time posting and sharing thoughts and resources with us. Sometimes family times are more exhausting both mentally and physically than just doing what we are able to do on our own, like write, or quilt, or run our own small business. The holidays are a time of family demands ... our traditional presence is not only expected but often requested directly. What others can do for those with invisible symptoms is practice compassion and patience and understanding and forgiveness when we can't live up to their requests.Chronic illness is what my mother in law would have called 'a slippery slope.' Aging is the same. As I enter the third stage of my sixties, now heading toward my seventies, I am beginning to realize that explanations repeated are words wasted. I don't explain anymore. I don't fulfill others' expectations. Instead I do what I can to make others' happy ... the others' who ask nothing of me ... often the others' who don't even know who I am and never will, but who I know will be happier for my efforts, unseen. That brings me peace. I'm sure you know what will bring you peace, too. Do it. Never mind that it is not an established tradition for you ... if you can do what someone unseen or unknown needs done, it is worth doing, worth your energy, worth you.

By: Laurie Stone

Laurie Stone — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 12:44:24 +0000

So wonderful as always, Cathy. I just forwarded your blog to my brother who's wife Jennifer has MS. I know she'd benefit not only from your words of wisdom but a sense of community. Thanks for being so honest. By doing that, you're helping others find their truth.

By: AlexandraFunFit

AlexandraFunFit — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 11:01:09 +0000

I wish your body was as strong as your spirit. Thanks for this wise advice.