I wrote this post right after my uncle and my best friend's dad (who was like a dad to me growing up) passed away within weeks of each other.

My uncle used to sign his emails to me with, "I hug you with my words, Uncle Henry." I shall never forget him. (Some hang on my mirror to greet me each morning.)

I hope my post gives you some comfort in knowing I know what you are going through, the pain is still raw, and they are gone but never EVER forgotten.

Thanks for leaving your comments. They mean a great deal to me.

Big hugs~
Cathy

You know, my husband's cousin IS Rainman, or exactly like him. He lives in Long Island and while his mom was alive (my husband's aunt) he worked every day at a factory type job and came home, doing no outside activities. She passed away a few years ago from leukemia, and we were worried about him. His sister, who has 3 kids and works full time, found many groups for him to be involved in (and a case worker). She also found a minivan to take him to work instead of the 3 buses he took every day (rain or shine). He goes bowling, goes on cruises & ball games with his group, has a leader of the group who takes him grocery shopping, to doctor appts. cooks and freezes meals and teaches him how to re-heat and all. His forte is directions so he never gets lost; he stays with us once in awhile and when taking the bus back home he goes to various areas in NY that he wants to explore. He calls his sister and then us when he arrives home. His sister stays one night with him every other week to fill in what he needs and takes him out to dinner. He goes on vacations with her family and spends holidays with them. He is living by himself! When his mom was alive we never thought this possible, but because of the brilliance of his dedicated sister (we all live about 1 1/2 hr away from him) he is thriving and happy. Yes, he's in his own world and will never date, drive or understand emotion. But he is living a life. I share this story because it's a testament to what can be done for some people with different forms of autism, and the wonderful people (like you) who take care of them.

I am glad we "met" and pray for you and your family, always.

Thanks for everything. You've EMPOWERED me in ways you will never know.

Best,
Cathy

I am impressed you actually MET Harold Kushner. Did you know him? Always curious how things happen...

I am glad you spent time with your little angel because you will always keep him close to you heart. I just lost two beloved people in my life in the last few months (one quickly to Pancreatic Cancer) and my heart aches for them. Yes, they both lived into their 80's so it is not the same as losing a child. But my point of telling you this is though my heart aches for them I DO feel they are with me - many times I have a very strong vibe my uncle is right next to me cheering me on. Both people will always be with me, as your child will be always be with you; I just know it. I am sure that is not too helpful because he should right with you, right here and now for the rest of your life. Please know you are in my prayers, as is your husband and, of course, your son. There are good people in the world waiting to help you. Perhaps a clergyman or therapist for your husband? He needs time to grieve as well. Life is so unfair...

We are "friends" now on FB so please private message me about your son, if you'd like.

Blessings to you always,
Cathy

I do believe there is some higher purpose for everything. I have no idea what it is, and why things happen the way they do. I once read Harold Kushner's book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" but I still felt badly. That said, we all process things differently and you may find some comfort in the book.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. You are a brave, bright and wonderful lady to have so much love to go around for such special children. They are blessed to have you as you are to have them. (Austism has touched our family too - quite a blessing...)

Best to you always,
Cathy

My son was disabled (we have 5 sons--one of his brothers is also disabled). He was autistic and had siezures. He did not die from the seizures however. It was almost as if it were an act which couldn't be stopped. My son had a peer buddy in school. She is devoted to him and to his memory. If I told you what has happened to her since he died you would not believe it, it is so marvelous. I don't understand a lot of this stuff, but it amazes me.

You were meant to be born on his birthday, don't you think?

And yes, I do not write to many people but I really liked the way you write. You are very special and a beautiful, compassionate person.

Best Wishes,

jean

Thanks for your comments about writing. I adore words and the power they have to move people. I am glad you are enjoying mine.

Best,
Cathy

There are no words I could offer that could ease your pain or give you instant comfort. People say "time heals all wounds" but I highly doubt that applies after losing a child. You, your family and your son are in my prayers and I send healing thoughts your way.

I'm glad you find that working hard helps somewhat (I am jealous you are so crafty!) Keeping busy is key.

I pray you find comfort in the love of your family and friends, and know you have online friends, like me, you can rely on.

Best,
Cathy