My Chat With The Lovely And Inspiring Valerie Harper

Life is funny sometimes. Not necessarily in a "ha ha" way but in a serendipitous one. Who would have guessed when I was 11 years old and dreaming of hanging out with Mary and Rhoda that someday, when I was older, I'd have a chance to ask Rhoda a few questions over something called the Internet?!

English: Publicity photo of Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Harper from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But that's what happened. Let me start at the beginning.

I, along with most women my age, fell in love with "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" when it first aired in 1970. As a pre-teen I loved the storyline - a young, single 30-year-old woman moves away from home and creates a new life for herself that includes her dream job and many loving, colorful and supportive friends.

Her best friend, Rhoda Morgenstern, was funny, honest, beautiful and always fascinating.

To paraphrase Valerie Harper, "We all looked up to Mary but we identified with Rhoda."

Yes, indeed.

I always felt there was a big piece of Valerie in Rhoda. Kind, caring and genuine, who could forget how gently Rhoda told her nemesis Phyllis that her brother was gay, or how she brought a young man home to Mary's small dinner party because he'd just been fired (played by a young Henry Winkler.) She played those scenes delicately laced with humor.

Valerie's career blossomed after four years with MTM. From her own show, "Rhoda", this dancer turned actress conquered the acting world not only in television but also on stage and screen. Along the way she was an advocate for the Women's Liberation Movement and The Equal Rights Amendment.

But her toughest role began in 2009 when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, and again in 2013 when she revealed she had a rare case of cancer in the cells surrounding the brain. Given three months to live, today Valerie is happy to report she is responding well to treatment.

Valerie is an inspiration to anyone fighting a serious illness. Her grace under fire is remarkable as she continues to carry an infectious light inside of her.

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month and Valerie has joined forces with The American Lung Cancer Association and Lung Force to get women involved in the fight against lung cancer. Join Team Valerie to raise your voice to make a difference in the lives of those with lung cancer. With your support and passion, further research can finally put an end to lung cancer.

It was more than my pleasure (and a lot of fun!) to take part in a Huffington Post LIVE event with Valerie Harper to ask her a few questions (seen in the video below.) When it was over I realized what I'd known all along:

Valerie Harper can also turn the world on with her smile!

How TV And Movies Have Added Extra Fun And Laughter To My Marriage

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life.” ~Oscar Wilde

How did it all start? The quick barbs my hubby and I often exchange. The ones that somehow evolved into a race to be the first one to blurt out a funny quote from a TV show or movie.

After all, we’re part of the TV generation.

We also grew up when it was common for parents to let their kids go to the movies unchaperoned.

When I was five, my mother drove my two older brothers and me and dropped us off at our local movie theater to see “Mary Poppins.” Today that’s unthinkable. If you did that, you’d probably risk someone reporting you to the DYFS child protection agency.

So hubby and I have stored up quite a collection of quotes over the years.

There are some couples that, after being married for a long time, begin to finish each other’s sentences. Instead, we use TV and movie quotes, written by accomplished writers as if they were our own. Many times we say them in unison, giving ourselves a good laugh.

Photo: Wikipedia

Early this morning, my husband commented on the “hairstyle” of my naturally curly, sometimes Don King-like-looking hair. At that time of day, it can look pretty scary before combing it and using some hair gel. He glanced at me and sarcastically said, “Your hair looks lovely.” My quick response was, “My hair is a gift and a curse.” The obsessive-compulsive TV detective Adrian Monk (from the series “Monk”) would be proud I used his line.

Faneuil Hall, Boston, 1977. I should have used hair gel in college. What was I thinking?

We’re constantly reusing clever witticisms, finding great pleasure in reusing humor that gave us a good chuckle when we first heard it.

Once when we were out to dinner with a group of friends, the conversation turned to gun control. The intensity of the topic became heated, and it wasn’t going well. I decided to inject a slight Hawkeye Pierce brilliance for levity:

“I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I’ll carry your books; I’ll carry a torch, I’ll carry a tune. I’ll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia. I’ll even ‘hari-kari’ if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!”

When I was finished, I could swear I heard the sound of crickets. Then suddenly, everyone exploded with laughter. It was a good segue.

There have been times when hubby and I are out with others, and we’ve uttered a familiar quote during the conversation. We pause, quickly glance across the table at each other and smile, knowing we’ve shared a secret known only between us. It’s always a sweet moment.

You may all collectively say “Aww” now.

Here are some lessons and laughter from the talents of many gifted writers we’ve come across over the years. I thank them for their carefully chosen words and for showing me that, indeed, life DOES imitate art:

Sexuality - (“The Golden Girls”):
Rose: “I don’t know what to wear on a cruise."
Blanche: "A life jacket and a great big smile.

Male Anatomy – (“My Favorite Year”):
(Alan Swann has blundered into the wrong restroom)
Lil: This is for ladies only!
Alan Swann: (unzipping his fly) So is this, Ma’am. But every now and then I have to
run a little water through it.”

Sensationalism in Journalism: - (“His Girl Friday”):
Walter Burns: “Look, I don’t care if there’s a million dead. No, no, junk the Polish Corridor. Take all those Miss America pictures off page six. Take Hitler and stick him on the funny pages. No, no, leave the rooster story alone. That’s human interest."

The Bible – (“The History of the World”):
Moses: “G-d has given us these Fifteen – (after dropping one of the tablets) – Oy - Ten Commandments!”

Diet – (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show”)
Rhoda: “I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

Woody Allen’s Point of View on Sex – (“Annie Hall”)
Alvy Singer: “It’s mental masturbation!”
Annie Hall: “And you would know all about THAT, wouldn’t you?”
Alvy Singer: “Hey, don’t knock masturbation! It’s sex with someone you love.”

Anxiety – (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show):
Mary: “Oh, Rhoda, chocolate doesn’t solve anything.”
Rhoda: “No, Mare. Cottage cheese solves nothing. Chocolate can do it all.”

What quotes do you remember and use from time to time?