The Difficult Lessons Of Silence
Wayne Dyer's karma quote is my daily mantra. It means that everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs whether we agree with them or not. Instead of driving yourself crazy with worry or heartache, or trying your best to change someone's mind, it's better to work on changing your own perspective.
I recently had a conversation with a dear friend who is like a sister to me, and when we discussed relationships she said something very meaningful:
"Sisters accept each other for who they are, with all the cracks and dings and imperfections that we sometimes fear will alienate us from those we care about. Our history joins us and and unites us in love and remembrance."
I loved that.
We can't be all things to all people. We are not everyone's cup of tea. And that's okay. It's taken me a long time to realize that. I used to go out of my way to try and please everyone. I wanted them to like me. I wanted acceptance and I guess, to some extent, even approval.
"You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."~Marcus Aurelius - 121-180 AD, Roman Emperor and Philosopher
We try to be loyal, passionate and thoughtful people, Sometimes that's not enough. Someone may not take the time to get to know us. They don't walk in our shoes. They don't ask how we are. Or sometimes their life is busy or they're facing a life challenge and they need to focus on themselves.
One of the benefits of aging, with its many life lessons, is we learn that the most important person in our life is ourself.
Despite how others treat you it's important to remain true to yourself. How other people feel about us, as Wayne Dyer says, is their karma.
How we react to how they treat us is our karma.
I once knew a woman who was grossly mistreated by a few people in our town. As she resigned from her public office post at a town meeting several of the townspeople were unkind. Instead of retaliating she stood up and read this quote.
It hurts to have anyone be silent toward us. Eventually the hurt dissipates as we remind ourselves that their silence has nothing to do with us and has everything to do with their own story.
This can be a painful lesson to learn, but for the sake of our emotional health it's important that we eventually move on.
My dad always taught me, as Spike Lee's dad must have taught him, to always "Do the right thing." It's what I try to live by, and it's an important lesson for all of us to remember as we face the challenges of life.
