“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~Carl Jung

This week, Jews worldwide celebrated the Jewish New Year, or Rosh Hashanah, a two-day celebration that begins on the first day of the first month of the Jewish calendar.  While sitting in my synagogue, singing familiar prayer tunes, I reflected on the joys and sorrows of the past year.  The Days of Awe (ten days of reflection between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) always led me to question the purpose and meaning of my life and whether I feel satisfied with its direction.

"The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." - Mitch Albom

During his sermon, the rabbi discussed the importance of staying true to your identity, always being authentic, and not straying from who you truly are.  (I love my simple yet eloquent t-shirt that says, “Life is good.  Remember where you came from.”)  People or events may try to tempt you from being your true self.  During those times, we must remember the values, convictions, and beliefs that ground us, the things that remind us of who we truly are.

 “Have convictions. Be friendly. Stick to your beliefs as they stick to theirs.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 It may seem as if teenagers' difficulties in staying true to themselves are limited.  They are always bombarded with peer pressure in school, while radio, magazine, or TV ads capitalize on their need to fit in.  (I used shimmering eye gloss so my eyes would look exactly like Cheryl Tiegs, and I drank Diet Pepsi to get that “girl watchers” look because “someone would be watching!” I read Seventeen magazines every chance I could to see what other teens were saying, wearing, and doing. Ugh.)

By our Second Chapter, we should be comfortable enough in our own skin to be true to ourselves.  After all, we shouldn’t care about other people’s opinions at this stage of life.  We are confident and worldly adults, right?  Wrong!  We are the infamous Baby Boomers, the ones advertisers are clamoring for to get our attention so we’ll purchase their product. (See the article in The Chicago Tribune about ads for Baby Boomers) Everything from wrinkle cream to eliminating cellulite to erectile dysfunction is all being marketed to catch our attention.

I look around, and within my circle of friends, I’ve seen couples purchasing second homes and/or sportier cars while some travel extensively. Some are sprucing themselves up to keep that young and natural look. Some retire early while enjoying their not-yet golden years by spending more time at their country club playing golf and eating dinner out five nights a week.  Almost all of them talk about their new homes, vacations, or newfound radiance.  Are they keeping up with the Joneses or simply rewarding themselves for many years of hard work?  More importantly, are they being their authentic selves?

 “I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.” ~Rita Rudner

 We could become jealous.  We could be angry, upset, or even depressed.  Do we always want what the other guy has? Do we always want something different than what we have today? Are we staying true to our authentic selves by buying newer and more extravagant products?

The dictionary defines authentic as “not false or copied; genuine; real,” and I add another word – true.

“This above all:
To thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.” ~Hamlet, William Shakespeare

 There is nothing wrong with wanting to have nice things in our life for the right reasons.  Everyone would like to live a comfortable life and have nice things.  Unfortunately, I’ve spent too many lunches listening to others brag about their latest and greatest purchase as if it makes them superior human beings.  Like my Dad used to say, “We all put our pants on one leg at a time.”

I FEEL AT EASE when I am around someone who is his or her authentic self.  They seem to sparkle and shine in their authenticity.  They dance to their own tune and live according to their own rules, never worrying about someone else’s standards.  They revel in the knowledge that what they do and how they live is exactly where they want to be.

 “What you are is what you have been. What you'll be is what you do now.” ~Buddha  

Here is my list of what keeps me true to myself.  What’s on your list?

1.  Tune out naysayers.  People are always willing to let you know their opinion of what you do, say, or think.  Tune them out and let your true self shine through. In my Second Chapter, I’m working on creating my life according to my passions: writing and being a health advocate.  Although I have a disability that hinders me from doing all I’d like, I focus on what I can do and use my abilities in my work.  I don’t “look sick,” so people often wonder (out loud), “Why doesn’t she have a real job working nine to five?” or “If she’s so sick, why isn’t she in bed more often?” I tune them out and continue to write and advocate.

“We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.” ~Barbara DeAngelis

2. Finding Your Moral Compass.  It’s essential to remain grounded in life by your values and beliefs.  Those values will guide you throughout life by being your moral compass when facing challenging situations.  I recently read the book “Happiness: How to Find it and Keep It” by Joan Duncan Oliver.  I love what she said about living your truth:

“Your values tell your life story.  What you do, say, think, and pray to speaks volumes about the principles that guide you. Where is true north on your moral compass?  Whatever challenges you face, following your conscience can help you stay on the road to happiness.  In the long run, it’s character that counts.” ~Joan Duncan Oliver

3.  Journaling. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it.  Take a piece of paper and write down your innermost thoughts, desires, and goals.  Make a list of what keeps you grounded (friends, religion, etc.) and how you can remain true to yourself.  What obstacles get in your way? How can you avoid those obstacles?  What relationships are harmful and toxic? What can you do to eliminate the negativity?   Once you’re finished, look over your list.  Refer to it when facing a challenging situation.  It will keep you grounded and authentic.

 “Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.” ~Christina Baldwin

4.  Love Yourself.  It sounds arrogant.  But it’s the truth!  You have to love the person you are right at this moment.  You are your biggest asset, your best cheerleader, and the one who knows the beauty within you.  Accept yourself unconditionally and love that person.  Made a mistake?  Love yourself anyway.  Feel badly about the way you spoke to your spouse?  Love yourself anyway.  Yelled loudly at your children because you’re in a bad mood?  Love yourself anyway.  Those closest to you love you unconditionally.  You should accept and love yourself unconditionally as well!

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~Lucille Ball

5.  Accept the past and forgive those who hurt you.  Holding onto anger from hurtful situations that happened long ago is a waste of time.  You won’t change anything by holding onto the anger – you will only hurt yourself.  We’ve all been hurt at one time or another.  Parents, siblings, friends, and teachers have all been the source of past hurts.  It’s time to move on and focus on the here and now.

“Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn't what you get for it, but what you become for it..” ~Steve Maraboli, Author of Life, the Truth and Being Free

 I can think of no one better to end my post than the beloved Dr. Seuss. He said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

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DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained, and my posts are journalistic and not in place of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from using this blog or any data or links provided.