I didn’t want to answer by saying something obvious, like a happy marriage (which I never take for granted) or something tangible like a beautiful piece of jewelry.
Then it hit me. Of course. It was right in front of me all the time.
The best gift I ever received might sound strange to you, but its the lessons I learned about myself, and from those around me, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
Being diagnosed with an incurable chronic illness is not only about the patient. It's also about those who love and care about you. The courage and love shown by family and friends while the sting of the diagnosis is fresh and raw is a true lesson.
And a gift.
My family showed courage the day of my diagnosis. My mother had the unenviable task of telling me about my diagnosis, something no mother should ever have to do. My brothers hugged me, and my father quietly kissed my forehead while gently stroking my hair.
My boyfriend held me close, and whispered he was with me for the long haul.
My three best friends cried and laughed with me as we listened to each other's words of wisdom.
This is how my journey began.
Over the years I’ve had friends drop off the radar. Because of their ignorance and inability to understand illness, I’ve been hurt, questioned and misunderstood. This served to strengthen me, and was the catalyst in my need to educate and spread awareness about MS and that, despite having a disability, my abilities are what define me.
The gifts I received of love and understanding are the ones I've tried to pass on.
When my son was born we decided to always be truthful with him, even about my illness. Mommy can’t run, Mommy gets tired, Mommy has good days and bad. We also wanted him to learn the importance of a positive attitude, tolerance and being compassionate.
When my MS Center was celebrating their 10th anniversary my son was 3 years old. A popular local newscaster was attending their celebratory event, and my son and I were going as well. While the newscaster was speaking, I noticed my sweet little boy climbing up into the lap of one of our dear friends who was severely disabled and required a wheelchair.
I smiled when I noticed the joy on the man’s face. That tiny act from our big-hearted, innocent child stayed with me all these years later. I knew in my heart that we had, indeed, instilled in our son the best gifts I ever received: love, compassion and an understanding heart.
My "best gift" was being passed down from one generation to the next.
Oh, what a beautiful post. I was going to actually use a similar one for mine and say that the "gift" of having breast cancer gave me back so many things in my life, so I can very much relate. You've given your son such a role model, a gift that will live on in his life and which I'm sure he'll pass on to his children when he has them. xo
This is beautiful, Cathy. I had no idea that you had been diagnosed with MS so long ago. Faced with my own health battle, I can appreciate the gift of courage in your family's embrace after your diagnosis. On my worst days, it is that unconditional love that keeps me going.
This is wonderful. You are correct...these are the best gifts.
Cathy, your shining spirit is strong in this heartfelt post. I know that it's your great attitude that has contributed to your having more good days than bad with MS. I too struggled with what to write for this bloghop. A cold winter day led me to warm thoughts. I send you warm thoughts during this cold season.
Just a lovely post Cathy. You are giving gifts everyday by showing and educating how a person can proactively live with a disease and a disability!
Cathy, I love this story from you. I can see how the sweet gesture of your son showed you your lessons of kindness and compassion had been learned by him. Great reminder of how important our roles are as parents.
You are blessed! To see the blessings in all things is rare and special.
Thank you Cathy, for sharing such a wonderful story. You are so right, that is the best gift! I think it is so important for mothers to know they've instilled those gifts in their children. I also liked your comment that we older birds are a strong flock.....lol. We definitely are! We tend to perservere! =)
Such a beautiful story and share ... we need more people like you in the world Cathy!
John
Great post! I don't have a chronic disease, but my mother does (chronic fatigue syndrome). She talks about how she has a reality that few people can really understand. I try to empathize, but she says that even her spouse doesn't really "get it." I am glad that you have such a strong community of supporters with family, friends and ppl from the MS community. I just watched an interview with Michael J. Fox (Parkinson's) who said that he is glad he has the diagnosis because he has enjoyed such a rich life since meeting advocates and researchers and others with PD. I thought that was interesting and a very life affirming statement. Have a delightful holiday season.
thanks for sharing that beautiful post—i consider it a gift! i don't have ms, but i do have a chronic illness and could relate.
Cathy, your words are always a gift. This is such a beautiful story, and you should be so proud of the role model you've been for your son -- and everyone who knows you.
I received a Christmas card in the mail the other day, and the message on it said; "The greatest gift you can give someone is your time,your attention, and your love". Like you said Cathy, these are life's best gifts!
Beautiful, heartfelt post, Cathy. Illness has a way of magnifying the important things in life, and you clearly have found many silver linings. xoxo
You are a gift, my friend - your strength and positive attitude are something we could all learn more from. Hugs!
Your positive attitude brings hope to so many who may be struggling. Thank you for sharing your life's lessons and teaching us all about perseverance in the face if challenges.
We are so alike, Ms. Chester! Upon reading the first sentence or two, I thought, "Well, my MS is probably the best gift." Then I continued reading and YOU said the very same thing. Hugs to you. Lovely post, my fellow MS-er. 😀
So beautifully articulated, Cathy! I, too, am hesitating about this bloghop question. I've not written a response yet and am trying to decided if I will yet participate...
This is an absolutely beautiful post.
Cathy, this post is beautiful! You are a gift to the rest of us. Thank you for sharing so openly.
Interesting . . .
I immediately thought about my 11-year old grandson who called me last night out-of-the-blue (he never calls explicitly for me) to ask if I'd go to the movies with him tomorrow. It had nothing to do with MS and THAT is what I am most thankful for . . . the simple pleasures of life. BTW of course I said "Yes!" (I'm sure he intends to buy my ticket but I will probably not let him buy the popcorn & drinks.)
Life is NOT about MS: as much as it tries to be.