I don't want to move out of our home. I don't want a stranger taking care of MY peonies. I don't want to live the rest of my days without the quiet, peaceful woods of our property. I don't want to leave the magic our family created in this house.
I don't want to let go.
I feel like a child about to throw a tantrum. Shall I hold my breath, cover my ears and scream at the top of my lungs?
Downsizing is our new mantra and that means I have to part with things that we either don't need or use. The problem with that is I'm overly sentimental and become attached to things. As a child I was often told I was sensitive, a word that made me angry, sending shivers down my spine.
I despise labels but particularly that one.
Today I realize that being sensitive and sentimental are what makes me uniquely ME, and that's fine. I'm okay with that. But I prefer to think of being sensitive as Edgar Allen Poe once described it:
"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." ~Edgar Allan Poe
Being sensitive and sentimental explains why I love every animal on the planet. It's why I'm in awe of cloud formations in a cerulean sky and find beauty in the rise and ascent of the sun on the horizon.
It also explains why I long for summer because I can once again hear a choir of crickets harmonizing with owls and woodpeckers.
I'm also sensitive and sentimental about people, places and things. There's nothing wrong with that. As a writer it serves me well. But, and this is a big but, if you're making drastic life changes your heart takes a beating.
The advice I'm usually given from well-meaning people in my life are typical platitudes (one door opens, life is all about change, look at this as your next great adventure) that don't help one bit.
Your heart feels heavy and no platitude is going to lighten the load.
So every piece of beautiful bone china gathering dust in our basement, each piece of yellowed scrap paper neatly tucked away with scribblings from my son and newly found Beanie Babies hidden under a pile of baby books are all tugging at my heart.
What do I do with them? (The scribblings definitely stay...)
Then there are my beloved books. We have a library filled with them. They are my prized possessions.
To borrow a line from Shakespeare, books are the stuff as dreams are made on.
My contribution to our library includes books that were required reading in college such as Shakespeare, James Joyce, Chaucer and Edith Wharton. Weary and yellowed I love these old friends and will never part with them.
I have textbooks from the health advocacy course I took for my certification. Those are part of my permanent collection.
The remainder of my library consists of books passed down from my mother, ones from my days as a member of various book clubs and those I chose for myself.
“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.” ~Gustave Flaubert
But I have to start drawing the line of what's moving with me, so I chose 8 books to include in a book giveaway. Here's your chance to call them your own.
Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella: #1 New York Times bestselling author Sophie Kinsella returns with her trademark blend of sparkling wit and playful romance in this page-turning story of a wedding to remember—and a honeymoon to forget.
Lottie just knows that her boyfriend is going to propose, but then his big question involves a trip abroad—not a trip down the aisle. Completely crushed, Lottie reconnects with an old flame, and they decide to take drastic action. No dates, no moving in together, they’ll just get married . . . right now. Her sister, Fliss, thinks Lottie is making a terrible mistake, and will do anything to stop her. But Lottie is determined to say “I do,” for better, or for worse.
Three Junes by Julia Glass: An astonishing first novel that traces the lives of a Scottish family over a decade as they confront the joys and longings, fulfillments and betrayals of love in all its guises.
The First Warm Evening of the Year: A Novel by Jamie M. Saul: Following his extraordinary debut novel, Light of Day (“An exhilarating emotional roller-coaster ride” —Washington Post), author Jamie Saul now explores the intricate relationships between friends and siblings, husbands and wives.
Jana Bibi's Excellent Fortunes: A Novel by Betsy Woodman: Meet Jana Bibi, a Scottish woman helping to save the small town in India she has grown to call home and the oddball characters she considers family.
Skink No Surrender by Carl Hiaasen: Carl Hiaasen serves up his unique brand of swamp justice in the New York Times bestseller Skink—No Surrender. (A National Book Award Longlist Selection)
When your cousin goes missing under suspicious circumstances, who do you call? There’s only one man for the job: a half-crazed, half-feral, one-eyed ex-governor named Skink.
Glitter and Glue: A Memoir by Kelly Corrigan: From the author of "The Middle Place" comes a new memoir that examines the bond—sometimes nourishing, sometimes exasperating, occasionally divine—between mothers and daughters.
Angle of Repose: Wallace Stegner: An American masterpiece and iconic novel of the West by National Book Award and Pulitzer Prize winner Wallace Stegner—a deeply moving narrative of one family and the traditions of our national past.
Lookaway, Lookaway by Wilton Barnhardt: Steely and formidable, Jerene Jarvis Johnston sits near the apex of society in contemporary Charlotte, North Carolina, where old Southern money and older family skeletons meet the new wealth of bankers, land speculators, and social climbers. Jerene and her Civil War reenactor husband, Duke, have four adult children―sexually reckless real estate broker Annie; earnest minister Bo; gay-but-don't-tell-anyone Joshua; and naive, impressionable college freshman Jerilyn. Jerene's brother, Gaston, is an infamously dissolute novelist and gossip who knows her secrets and Duke's; while her sister, Dillard, is a reclusive prisoner of her own unfortunate choices. When a scandal threatens the Johnston family's status and dwindling finances, Jerene swings into action...and she will stop at nothing to keep what she has and preserve her legacy. Wilton Barnhardt's Lookaway, Lookaway is a headlong, hilarious narrative of a family coming apart on the edge of the old South and the new, and an unforgettable woman striving to hold it together.
Here's your chance to enter to win these incredible books by leaving a comment below and tweeting the following tweet. The contest ends Tuesday, September 6 at midnight and the winner will be notified by email.
Sorry, only those living in the U.S. can enter to win.
[Tweet "Enter for your chance to win 8 incredible #books Contest ends September 6. "]
Good luck!
NOTE: All book descriptions are from Amazon.com.
Great generous give a way!!!
Oh goodness. As if I need more books. But these look wonderful and I have not read a single one of them so yes! Please enter me! And I will gratefully share them and pass them on when I am done with them as well. Great idea, Cathy! Thank you so much!
Yes I am 100% with you on the difficulty of letting go, and I love the way you're going about it with these books (none of which I've read -- really unusual!!). Will be thinking of you as you downsize. We need to do the same sooner rather than later. Maybe you can give me pointers.
I already won with this great list of reads. Thanks for being such a generous spirit!!
I am such a sentimentalist, I have trouble cleaning out my pantry!!! My husband just told someone we have 3 estates of loved ones in our basement, and I had to re nod him we have four. I whittle a bit but never get brutal. You have inspired me to get to it! My friend, Jean, always tells me every memory you need is really get there in your head. Love you!
Books are so hard to let go of! I certainly get that. ((hugs)) on the having to move part. Thinking of you.
I totally get it. I think we finished our basement just so we have a place to store our books!
Boy do I know how this feels. We're not downsizing yet, but every month I go through my house w/a laundry basket in hand, tossing in things to donate, sell, give away, or toss. Some days each items causes me to pause and reflect. Other times, I'd glad to see the pile grow and know we are slowing making our way to a less cluttered home.
I have some of these books, and Lord knows, my house is overflowing w/books already. But if my number comes up, I'll give most away to my writing students!
For my next book club we are reading Madam Bovary...thank you for the wonderful guote. I am happy to say I will copy your book giving, at least I think I will. I do hope your downsizing keeps you near to yoga.
Your "sensitive" words brought me to tears as I am facing the same decisions as you and have never looked at this emotion in the way you expressed. I have no one who shares the memories so discarding them is a lone venture.
I always have space for books and even if I am not the receiver, I will probably read several of them anyway. My Mom, who is 97, reads at least a book a week and they will get passed on to her. She gave me a love for reading which I am so thankful for.
Breathe thru the new adventure and remember many of us are with you in your journey.
I haven't read any of these and they all sound great! Hope I win!
Hi Cathy! So sorry to hear you are having a difficult time letting go. I KNOW that it comes more easily to some of us than others. One thing I did when downsizing when it came to my books was for me to donate them to a lending library near where I lived. I always felt that I could then go and visit them any time I wanted AND that they would now serve as gifts for more people than sitting in my closet. I hope that on the other side of this big change there are some plans for something wonderful. I don't remember reading why the decision was made but am hoping it will lead to something even better. That's just the way I roll. ~Kathy
I haven't read any either. You can enter me too. We downsized and it's actually very freeing. Although, I've moved a lot in my life, so I guess I'm used to it. Good luck with everything.
I find it so hard to give up my books, which is why our house looks like a library. This is a great selection, and the winner will be so lucky! Angle of Repose is one of my favorite books ever.
I'll make note of these titles. Would like to read them all. Thank you Cathy!
Oh boy - my pile is already so huge! Books are the hardest thing for me to let go of. I always try to find a way to find them new homes that will love them. Donation has been a great route for us, too. Passing on something wonderful to someone who might not otherwise be able to enjoy it is a great feeling.
It is hard to downsize Cathy especially if you love your current home as you do. We thought we were downsizing but with the death of my FIL a couple of months ago, find ourselves living downstairs from my MIL, who at 90 is not coping well. Our life has taken a turn which we thought would happen but it isn't easy. I love the choice of your books and wish I lived in the US. We have a library full so perhaps I could do as you are doing.
I love how you are turning your losses into a joy for others. I would love to read your books! 🙂
Every time I struggle with giving things away. Then when I do, I'm rewarded with clarity of mind and the entrance of new possibilities! Good luck to you, and what a generous way to go about it!
Hmmmmm...how best to put it? Here goes: I'm a book head. Love love love 'em. And, like you, Cathy, I too am sensitive and sentimental about people, places and things. This is why my garage looks the way it does, and my home office bookshelf is sagging under the weight of my books. But, I also know that you can't be too rich, too thin (well, uh, yeah you can), and you can't have too many books. One day soon, however, the downsizing process must begin for me . . .
When my peonies bloomed I thought of you. I was going to gather some and take a picture. But then it rained. And rained. 5 inches of rain later, the looms were gone. Deep sadness.
But that’s kind of like life, isn’t it? Sometimes joyful and lovely things are short lived, and yet we can enjoy our memories of them for a long time.
I would love to read any of your books; they all sounded good! 😊