A beautiful comment from a dear friend about the first time I wore contact lenses got me to think about...
I've worn glasses for almost 50 years and I still don't like wearing my thick lenses in public. At midlife I should be over this already. I mean, I've made peace with so many things by now that I think it's time to put this behind me.
I've made peace with having to wear flats now instead of my beautiful high heels. I've reconciled myself to the fact that I need to wear some foundation and mascara instead of going au naturel whenever I walk out the front door.
And I've even learned to embrace my thick, curly locks instead of trying to straighten my hair every time I blow dry it. I used to want to look like Cheryl Tiegs. That worked out well, don't you think?
My second grade teacher, Mrs. Miller, knew how I felt. Out of two second grade classes at South End School I was the only 8 year old wearing glasses. A compassionate teacher, she purchased a book that told the story about a cool little girl who wore glasses and one day read it to the class. It made me feel good. For a few days.
In 1967 there was only one style of glasses offered for girls. They were powder blue "cat" frames with tiny shimmering "diamonds" in each corner. I hid mine in my desk as I squinted to see the blackboard.
In eighth grade my parents gave me permission to get contact lenses. In those days only hard lenses were available, and my patient mother sat beside me for hours on end as I did my best to shove those uncomfortable little discs into my eyes. When I finally succeeded they were so uncomfortable I popped them right back out. Sorry, Mom.
It was back to wearing my funky John Lennon glasses again.
I think in many ways I began hiding behind my glasses, uncomfortable with the way I thought I looked without them. It was impossible to know how I looked because without my glasses on I couldn't see my face clearly.
My parents always told me I was beautiful, but you know how parents are.
During adolescence how you look is very important. It didn't help that my three closest friends were blonde, beautiful and had perfect vision. Thinking back I guess I felt less attractive than them because of my glasses.
When senior year of high school rolled around I finally decided to try wearing contact lenses again. One, two, three and those soft lenses were in my eyes and working their magic. Glory hallelujah.
It's funny that a few short weeks after my success I was asked out on my first serious date. School boys are so transparent, aren't they?
I rarely wore my glasses after that except to take them out at night and put them back in the next morning. But during my sophomore year at college that was a mistake.
My all-girl dorm had a large bathroom on each floor that had rows of showers, and each shower had a plastic curtain. The only place to hang your bathrobe (and glasses) while showering was over the top of the shower bar. With the water running I didn't hear the footsteps of girls quietly swiping my glasses and bathrobe. I was mortified when I had to run down the hall with my tiny towel wrapped around me, barely able to find my room through the cloudy blur I saw around me. When I finally made it back I found my bathrobe and glasses on my bed.
Ah, college pranks.
When I began dating my husband I swore I'd never let him see me in my glasses. One night I nearly panicked as I waited for him to pick me up for dinner. My left eye hurt so badly I was unable to wear my left contact lens. What did I do? I went on the date wearing only my right one.
That was not a good idea. By the time we got to the restaurant my right eye began to hurt and I was forced to remove my right lens.
As luck would have it, two fuzzy looking people stopped by our table. Gary's voice sounded surprised, and I sat in silence as they talked, making pretend I could see who these people were.
"Cathy, these are my parents," Gary said. "Mom and Dad, this is Cathy."
Gulp.
I don't remember much else except praying that I didn't look like a complete idiot. I must have performed an Oscar worthy performance because years later my in-laws told me they had no idea I couldn't see them.
The next time I met them I continued the performance by making pretend I knew who they were.
Today young girls and boys wear glasses almost as a creative expression of themselves. With a wider variety available in every size, shape and color, and the ability to offer glare-free and thinner lenses, it's easy to find one that looks good and suits their personality.
I hadn't thought about my saga of my glasses until last week. After having to cancel a reunion trip with 3 dear friends who I've known since I was 10, we got together using FaceTime. As we were reminiscing one of them told me they remembered the first time I looked at myself in the mirror after successfully wearing contacts. She went on to tell me how fascinated I was to finally get a clear look at myself.
Then she added, "I think your writing reflects what you found that day. You see things more clearly and are able to explain to others the lens with which you see the world."
Wow.
I've thought about what she said ever since, and it's made me realize that It's time to embrace who I am with and without my glasses. That's the beauty of midlife. You are finally able to become more comfortable in your own skin.
So I'll keep on writing with and without my glasses because the lens I use to see the world doesn't depend on whether or not I'm wearing glasses. The lens I use to see the world is tucked inside my heart.
And I'm comfortable with that.
No makeup AND glasses? Yup. Midlife IS wonderful.
i was fat and I wore glasses....I was the first one to wear a bra and get my period (in the 4th grade)! I love being "middle aged" because i am no longer self conscious either.
I love reading your articles...you write beautifully!! AND I love that you included a picture of yourself "au natural"!
Love today's blog! And you are so cute!!!!
Ha ha, I wore those same blue glasses. I started wearing glasses in the second grade and hard contact lenses in the ninth. I can totally relate. As a matter of fact, I just gave up the hard lenses about three years ago and am wearing soft. I wear my glasses late at night and my sweetheart likes them but I don't. But hey....it is all good.
Aren't long-time friends a treasure? They see you as no one else can. This is a lovely piece. Glad you got to "see" your friends after all!
I love this so much Cathy! Parallel lives with similar experiences! Now my glasses are a party of me and contacts only for special occasions. Time to get new frames!
I got glasses in 3rd grade...lovely aviator style with a circle over the nosepiece. What? Really? Ugh. 🙁 I could wear soft contacts in high school and college, but my dry eyes wouldn't allow me to wear them for long. I saved and scrimped and got Lasik around age 30. And now that I'm seeing 50 around the corner I had to return to glasses last year for the dreaded bifocals. Sigh.
I love your friend's comment. You see the world so clearly and you write so well. Your heart has perfect vision, no matter what your eyes are like. And with glasses or without, you are beautiful, inside and out. <3
You are awesome! I love stories like these. The ideal woman is such a narrowed scope and nothing is more a reminder of that than adolescence. Thanks for sharing!
I can relate to this! I started wearing glasses at age 10 and was amazed that the trees had leaves. My parents didn't allow me to have contact lenses, so I finished high school wearing black, round frames. They're even in my prom and graduation photos. I got contacts when I went to college. Now I wear glasses more than contacts because there are so many more important issues to endure. Thanks for the trip down memory lane - and your focus and insight.
Wonderful post. It's amazing how similar my path was. I HATED my glasses (of course) that I started to wear at age 11. At age 14 I got contacts -- the hard lenses -- and I almost tore my eyes out, they were so uncomfortable. So, as you did, I didn't wear contacts or glasses, and got into many embarrassing situations because of it! It's ironic how years later glasses became a fashion statement, isn't it?
That was some sensitive teacher you had back then!
Great reminder Cathy! We all need to see things through your eyes. I only started wearing glasses in the last year and it has been such a huge change for me, but maybe I've been taking it just a little bit too seriously! I hope you're feeling better now!
Your friend's comment is so true, Cathy....you have a beautifully clear lens in your heart that allows you to see the very best of everything! I have to wear glasses now for driving and seeing far away.... don't really like myself in them, but seeing clearly feels great! Great post as always.
That comment is perfect and dead-on. You look beautiful with or without glasses, with or without make-up, with or without short, long, curly or straight hair. You are just a beautiful person, inside and out. xo
I love what your friend said. What a beautiful reflection of who you are.
Such a beautiful post, Cathy. The changes we go through, oy! I started wearing glasses at two. Yes. Had eye surgery at nine and over time the prescription lessened and eventually I was able to 'get by' without them. I tried contacts in my 30's but was never completely comfortable with them so quit. Now I have computer glasses, reading glasses, and one good pair of progressives that give me such a headache I rarely wear them.
I'm just grateful I can see in one way or another, and sometimes it's better to look in the mirror through fuzzy eyes. lol!
b
I wore glasses started about age 10. I tried contacts for a while, but they are too much of a hassle, and I was always afraid they'd end up damaging my eyes. There are so many cute frames available today that I don't mind at all. I loved your stories and your pics. Oh, meeting your future in-laws while "blind" is a great courtship story! Thanks for sharing that.
What a great piece! Glasses, our reactions to them actually, tell us so much about our self-concepts, don't they? I hadn't thought about it like that until I read this. I have worn glasses since I was a kid, but I refused to wear them in High School. As an adult I wear them and feel like they are a protective barrier between me and the world.
I am needing my glasses more of late between MS and aging. Being outside, looking at the trees, and needing them to see the leaves clearly saddens me! It's not that I mind how I look, but how they are now a constant in my life.
The saying goes, "if only we could start out with all our wisdom, and grow younger. I am perfectly content the way things are. I'm thrilled not always putting on make-up or shaving my legs! You sound beautiful from the inside out just the way you are!
Hey Cathy,
I used to wear glasses in the 2nd grade as well and mine were very heavy. I remember my nose and ear pain due to the glasses.
However, later - somehow, my eyes got fixed and I don't wear glasses anymore. Even a few months back I went to my eye doctor for a regular check up and he told me that my eyes are all right and does not need any glasses.
However, am pretty much in midlife now and I too don't really care about glasses or contacts - I can wear glasses again if I ever have to ...
thanks,
Dewy,
This is my story! Every detail, nuance, hard and soft lens, beautiful girlfriends with perfect eyesight, my hair, my new flat shoes. Now my astigmatism is too severe to correct my vision, so I'm back to wearing glasses, and surprisingly, it doesn't bother me. It's been a long time since strangers would come up to me and tell me what beautiful eyes I have. Now I spend way too much on thin lenses that "reduce the angle of refraction," whatever that is. From time to time I think about laser surgery, but it gives me the heebeejeebees...
I'm hoping your husband is doing well... That must have been very scary.
XOXOXO,
Brenda
Found you this morning through the Huffington Post -- hurray!
Oh, I hear you about glasses! I started wearing glasses at 7 and hard contacts on my 17th birthday. That was in 1965 and I'm still wearing them, though now they're gas-permeable. The soft ones don't correct for my astigmatism. As a teen, my glasses were those cat-eye shape, but in a charming black color. And on my 17th birthday, I spent at least a half-hour in the bathroom, staring into the mirror at my red-eyed face -- seeing for the first time what I really looked like.
And my most embarrassing time? I dropped my glasses in the high school gym locker room, breaking them and had to call my mom for a trip to the eye doctor. I needed my schoolbooks, so went to my classroom, stood at the back and asked Mr. Anderson, the German teacher, if I might get them. Unfortunately, Miss McIntyre, the old maid Latin teacher was standing at the front. She said, "Can't you tell the difference between Mr. Anderson and me??" Uh, no.
I hate glasses! But did you ever think about what would have happened to kids like us in the middle ages or earlier? We would have fallen off cliffs, been eaten by bears, or have ended up in convents doing those illuminated letters on manuscripts.
Hi Cathy, I absolutely luuuuuv those clear cats eyes glass at the top of your page. Where can I get them... I live in South Africa....
Luv ashleigh
Loved your midlife crisis/glasses blog! It was entertaining, well written, and I could relate to everything you wrote. There have been so many little girls on Facebook lamenting about their first pair of glasses and being teased that I wish they could all read your blog. Life does not end with glasses but it sure can affect self esteem at critical ages.
Will look forward to your continuing blog posts!