The best definition for chronic illness that I could find on the internet is from Psychology Today:

"A chronic illness is a condition that endures for at least a year and requires ongoing medical care or consistently limits the scope of a person's daily activities. Major chronic conditions include cancer, heart disease, diabetes, lung disease, asthma, HIV/AIDS, stroke, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, Crohn's disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and kidney disease, among others. Tens of millions of American adults live with a chronic illness, and many of them live with at least two. Life with a chronic illness typically requires lifestyle changes that may be challenging or stressful to adopt, such as a new diet or exercise regimen, demanding medication and checkup schedules, and limitations on social life, work, and travel. Any of these can cause stress, anxiety, anger, and in some cases, depression."

Anyone diagnosed with a chronic illness understands this definition well. We experience it daily. When our doctor utters the name of our diagnosis, our lives change forever.

How do we handle this new kink in our lives? It’s not something we planned on or dreamed about. 

Reflecting on a new path

Some people feel relieved after finally learning a name for their symptoms, while others are completely caught off guard. But every patient is in the same boat when the smoke clears, and we realize there’s no magic pill or surgery to remove the illness permanently.  

A range of unexpected emotions wash over us as we realize our chronic illness is here to stay. 

It’s a scary time, and feelings of grief, fear, or anxiety are not only understandable but normal.   

Feeling fearful, overwhelmed, or anxious are common emotions after a diagnosis

When are our feelings typical, and when aren’t they? Emotions that affect mood and behavior should be carefully monitored for short or prolonged periods. Patients should familiarize themselves with what’s considered “normal” and what isn't for the sake of sound mental health. 

Let’s take a look at some everyday struggles that may arise when living with a chronic illness to see if they're “typical” or should raise a red flag.    

Sadness, frustration, anxiety, loneliness, or depression:

Typical response: When diagnosed with a chronic illness, our physical and mental states are affected. It’s not unheard of to feel sad, frustrated, anxious, lonely, or depressed. Our emotions and behaviors may change, so we must be mindful of our feelings. We need to make our health a top priority. Write your feelings down in a journal, reach out to trusted loved ones, take walks outdoors, and spend time with family and friends. Reach out to a qualified therapist if you need extra help.

It’s important not to push your feelings aside but acknowledge them because, according to Tori Rodriguez in an article in Scientific American titled “Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being” (May 1, 2013):

“In fact, anger and sadness are an important part of life, and new research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment.” 

Red Flag: If depression or other negative feelings last for weeks or months, it’s time to seek the help of a professional. If these emotions negatively impact your life, speak to a qualified therapist who can help you sort out your feelings. Remember, there’s no shame in taking care of your well-being.

Staying home for extended periods

Typical response: Your new normal takes some getting used to. There are physical and emotional issues to consider, such as difficulty in walking, problems with vision, weakness and numbness, or medication side effects. It takes time to feel stronger and more balanced. Laying low for a while because you’re not up to socializing is a typical side effect of a new diagnosis. Go easy on yourself without judgment. Only you will know when you’re ready to begin socializing again.  

Red Flag: If you find yourself constantly cancelling professional or personal appointments, refusing telephone calls, and becoming a recluse, that’s a point of concern. You may feel sorry for yourself or see yourself as less than whole. It’s hard to come to terms with a lingering illness, but withdrawing from the world isn’t the answer. Reach out to trusted loved ones, speak to your religious leader, or find a qualified therapist who can help you realize that life doesn’t stop after a chronic illness. Hope, love, friendship, and a whole world await you.

Loss of self-esteem

Typical response: Did you used to be a great athlete, an accomplished painter, a busy mom, or a successful businessperson? Whatever and whoever you were before your diagnosis, you are still basically that same person. Perhaps you can no longer do what you used to do. That's typical if your diagnosis makes you feel sad, wistful, angry, frustrated, or less than a whole person.

For example, I love the natural world. I used to take long walks on nature trails or in the woods whenever I could. I walked for miles. After I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, my legs became weaker and increasingly numb, my balance was troubling, and unrelenting fatigue was a constant visitor. I often can’t walk very far, and leg pain frequently occurs. I feel angry and resentful that my body disobeys me. I feel less than whole. Physical therapy and complementary medicine are helpful. They're not a cure, but they still give me hope.

Yes, there are changes attached to living with a chronic illness, but with management and creative thinking, you can find options to help you live a quality life within your new normal. 

Red Flag: Feeling sorry for yourself, being embarrassed about your inability to keep up with others, or feeling angry at yourself or the world are signs of low self-esteem. These feelings can be concerning if they persist for several weeks or months. If you are experiencing any of these emotions or are having thoughts of self-harm, it is important to reach out to a qualified counselor as soon as possible. You deserve the help you need.

If you are considering suicide or know someone who is, please call the 988 Lifeline immediately to speak to a counselor. All conversations are strictly confidential. The hotline is available 24/7.

There is a community to lean on for help. Count on it.

You are never alone. There are communities available for anyone living with a chronic illness who are ready to help you. Your mental wellness is crucial, so do your research and seek guidance, support, or friendship. You'll be glad you did.

The post How to Care for Your Mental Health When Living with a Chronic Illness appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

My father loved Robert Burns, a Scottish poet and lyricist who is widely regarded as Scotland's national poet. As we approach the end of the year, I thought it'd be fitting to reflect on Burns's famous work, "Auld Lang Syne." This beautiful rendition is both haunting and heartfelt, honoring the original form of the poem.

What a beautiful way to end 2024 while preparing for 2025.

As we welcome the new year, my heart feels both heavy and hopeful. I wish for your heart to be filled with hope, strength, and, above all, love. Together, we can overcome any challenge and celebrate every joy. If you ever need a shoulder to lean on, I’m here for you—count on it.

Sending abundant blessings your way. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I appreciate your splendid company.

The post Walking Each Other Home in 2025 with Strength and Hope appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

This tumultuous year was rough, so I took a well-deserved writing break. Everything felt out of control, and I needed some time to focus on my mental wellness. I'm ready to move on and write with renewed clarity and confidence.

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I turned 65 in 2024, and it hit me harder than I thought. It reminded me that now is the time to start working on my dreams. I acknowledge that there’s more life behind me than ahead, and if I'm fortunate enough to live to a ripe old age, I’ll have plenty of time to break more glass ceilings and strive for greater heights as both an advocate and a human being. If not now, when?

Society holds varying views on aging, and I am committed to changing these perspectives in any way I can. It's unreasonable to suggest that we, particularly women, are no longer relevant as we age. That’s why I applaud all the influencers over 60 who promote pro-aging messages. We must embrace our identities at every age and recognize that we still matter and contribute significant value to the world.

(Check out my friend Sandra Sallin who is an 84-year-old rock star influencer promoting pro-aging in fun and fascinating ways!) 

Dealing with age, multiple sclerosis (MS), and other health issues makes it challenging for me to be as productive as I once was. Some days, I struggle to get out of bed, while others, cognitive fog prevents me from accomplishing everything I want. It's frustrating, but I'm doing my best to accept the unpredictability of secondary progressive MS.

In 2024, I learned a powerful lesson: internalizing emotional baggage takes a toll on the body and mind. As Marianne Williamson said, "The deepest wounds are often invisible." To remove the baggage, I've journaled, spoken to a therapist, and worked on living in the moment and not in the past or future. Are you doing anything to battle emotional baggage? I'd love to hear about it!

My New Year's wish is to incorporate the lessons I've learned this year to help me become more assertive and wiser. Adversity teaches us that we grow from what we endure.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”  - Helen Keller

Here are a few things we should focus on in the coming year. I hope you agree:

Love - To be surrounded by people who love us, whether sick or well, and understand that looking good doesn't necessarily mean we're feeling well. You can't see invisible illness.

Friendship - It's a blessing to have true friends. I hope none of mine grow tired of my need to cancel plans. I've missed many opportunities to socialize and attend important professional events because of illness. I'm hoping that by practicing self-care techniques, I can minimize the need to cancel plans in the future. Life is too short to miss out on anything!

Wellness - This term is often overused, but it accurately reflects my goal.  I want to feel well again. I want to have days where I don't even think about illness. Do you experience this hope, too?

The isolation that comes with a disability is absolute and significantly affects mental wellness. Being sick can create feelings of sadness, being left behind, and loneliness and that is NOT fun at all.

My self-care plan to combat negative emotions includes meditation, chair yoga, acupuncture, painting, knitting, spending time outdoors, and immersing myself in the beauty of nature. I hope this plan will help me manage my negative emotions. What are your plans for the new year?

Kindness, Compassion, and Forgiveness - I try to maintain kindness and compassion when someone does not support me. I strive to forgive those who have been unkind or uncaring. I've learned that forgiveness does not always need to be expressed verbally. Forgiveness can help release pent-up anger and anxiety, which is very beneficial for your health. The only path to inner peace is through forgiving both others and yourself.

"Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you."~Sharon Adler

Move forward -Letting go of past hurts is essential for moving forward. There's also grief. The loss of a loved one, a pet, or a broken relationship can be excruciating, making us question whether we will ever be able to heal. It's important to understand that the grieving process is unique to each individual and can take as long as needed. While it's true that things will never be the same, eventually, we must push ahead to thrive. Ultimately, we aim to survive and find a way to live fully again. Learn to let go of what no longer serves you well.

Gratitude - I'm deeply grateful for the unconditional love and support of friends and family. I appreciate every reader of An Empowered Spirit and hope that the experiences and information I share on the blog inspire you to reflect on your own life and motivate you to be your best, fabulous self. Let's readjust our crowns, eh?

Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life and accompanying me on my crazy journey. I wish you a joyful, healthy, and prosperous 2025! Wishing peace and good health to everyone.

The post As This Tumultuous Year Ends I Have a Few Things to Say appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

I’ve been thinking about how important communities are and how they can help us survive challenging times. They support our need to be active and informed, help us find comfort and advice, or provide a much-needed safe place to fall.

In the current global situation, having multiple communities for support is crucial for maintaining good physical and mental health.

Think about it: Where do you turn when you’re feeling sad, scared, or lonely? When illness strikes, who do you seek for support and guidance? When you feel helpless or angry, who is there to listen to you?

Communities with empathetic people are a valuable resource to have on our side.

When Senator Barack Obama announced his presidential candidacy in 2007, I learned about his work as a community organizer in the poorer neighborhoods of the South Side of Chicago in the early 1980s. It was the first time I had thought about community organizers, and I wanted to learn more.

I learned how community organizers can give people a sense of commitment and purpose by helping those in need. 

In a New York Times article titled "Obama's Organizing Years, Guiding Others and Finding Himself" (July 7, 2008), we learn that President Obama worked tirelessly to help a multicultural, lower-income neighborhood address issues like asbestos removal, public safety, and employment. Despite facing obstacles, he formed a lifelong commitment to the community.

My kindergarten class, 1965.

I grew up in a tight-knit community where neighbors helped neighbors. Children played outside until dark, and parents kept their doors unlocked in case a child was thirsty, needed a bathroom, or had a problem.

Today, we live in a world that needs stronger communities. I see some crumbling all around us. We’re being pitted one against the other in ways I never imagined.

It’s a challenging time to be alive.

But I’m an optimist who believes there are more good people in the world than bad, more kindness than evil, and more hope than despair.

There are always skeptics, but I see communities uniting to offer assistance after hurricanes devastate towns, especially when government resources are limited.

Anxiety and frustration are so prevalent these days that many of us experience physical and emotional stress. When that happens, I look to my mentors, who inspire and encourage me through their actions and words.

A great example of a mentor who created a community of inclusion and understanding was Fred Rogers of educational television fame. Rogers was a larger-than-life mentor featured in a documentary on his life called “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”

I’ve always admired his goodness and compassion, and find comfort in a memory he shared:

“My mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”

Mentors' and communities' guidance and support are crucial in shaping a balanced, joyful, informed, and peaceful life.

Here are some communities I look to for strength, hope, inclusion, and joy. Maybe you do, too!:

• Family, friends, and colleagues  
• Writers, poets, artists, world and spiritual leaders
• Fellow health advocates
• The MS and Chronic Illness Community
• The gut health community
• The migraine community
• The healthcare community of doctors, nurses, therapists, and researchers
• Communities of women, including empowerment, writing, book, and charity groups
• The spirituality community
  
  Many communities are catalysts for positive global change. The following are just a few examples, but the list is by no means exhaustive:
   
• RAICES (Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services)
• NAACP
• Best Friends Animal Society
• Pet Smart Adopt Spot
• Guide Dog Foundation for the Blind
• Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
  
• Children’s Defense Fund
  
• ACLU
  
• Goodwill
  
• National Wildlife Federation
• Environmental Defense Fund
• American Red Cross
• Obama Foundation
• Clinton Foundation
• George and Barbara Bush Foundation
• JDRF International
• Habitat for Humanity
• Human Rights Watch
• City Harvest
• UNICEF
• Doctors Without Borders
• Hadassah
• Jewish National Fund
• National Alliance on Mental Health
• National Multiple Sclerosis Society
  Multiple Sclerosis Trust
  Accelerated Cure Project
• Planned Parenthood
• International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders
• Compassion & Choices
• Bob Woodruff Family Foundation
• Wounded Warrior Project
• Classic films
• Communities that love and protect all animal species
• Arts and culture groups

What communities do you rely on? Who listens to your thoughts and ideas? Who inspires you? Where do you turn for the information you need or the empowerment you seek? Who keeps you feeling balanced or joyful? Who comforts you when you're feeling down? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

The post How Communities Can Help Us Survive Challenging Times appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

This post about complementary medicine was initially published in October 2016. Its contents remain relevant to people with MS or any ailment. Some of the original content has been updated.  

Living with an illness, any illness, prompts you to find ways to feel better. If you have a headache, you take an aspirin. If you have high cholesterol, you take a statin. However, there are sometimes no simple solutions to alleviate your symptoms.

What do you do when you're desperate to step outside the box of conventional medicine to feel better?    

One internationally known neurologist and MS specialist guided his patients to think outside the box for years. Dr. Allen Bowling is a leading authority on complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) applied to Multiple Sclerosis.  

Photo Credit: NeurologyCare.net

Dr. Bowling came onto my radar when I searched for more ways to live healthier. The diets I discovered for MS years ago didn't meet my expectations. Roy Swank promoted his extremely low-saturated-fat diet, while John McDougall advocated a low-fat "fad" diet.

They weren’t for me.  

I knew I didn’t want to rely solely on Solumedrol whenever I had an exacerbation; it was the only option at the time of my diagnosis. I wondered if diet, exercise, and a holistic health approach combined with traditional medicine would provide a healthier way of life.

Loyal readers know I was an early devotee of Dr. Andrew Weil's advice soon after my diagnosis. Weil focuses on holistic health and integrative medicine. I clung to him at the beginning of my MS journey.

Years later, I came across an article about Dr. Allen Bowling and his groundbreaking work in the field of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM). I needed to find out more.

When I had the chance to attend a symposium at the Consortium of Multiple Sclerosis Centers' annual meeting, Dr. Bowling presented a topic titled "Expanding the MS Toolkit: Integrating Lifestyle Factors and Unconventional Medicine Into MS Clinical Care." I found it fascinating.

Bowling’s book “Optimal Health with Multiple Sclerosis: A Guide to Integrating Lifestyle, Alternative, and Conventional Medicine” synthesizes his decades of significant research, writing, and caring for the MS community.

Now, I use his book as a guide for healthy living.

This book is a dependable reference that can be used repeatedly. It serves as a comprehensive guide for better health for those living with multiple sclerosis (MS) or anyone interested in leading a healthier life.

Dr. Bowling was kind enough to answer a few questions. If you're looking for the key to mind, body, and spirit working in harmony, Dr. Bowling can help you open that door.    

How did you first become interested in integrative medicine? When did you decide to share your interest with the MS community?  

I first became interested in integrative medicine when I entered practice 20 years ago and realized that most of my patients were interested in this type of approach, yet I had received no education or training in this approach.

I began writing and speaking on the topic once I collected a small amount of evidence-based information in this area (a few months of work 20 years ago). I also began to incorporate it into my clinical practice.

What first concept caught your eye to learn more about integrative medicine?

What caught my eye about this approach (and was actually quite shocking!) is that it actually leads to a higher quality of care, but it is not the standard of care. It provides a higher quality of care because it includes conventional medicine, addresses lifestyle factors that may prevent many diseases and may be beneficial for MS and many other conditions, and provides evidence-based information about “alternative” approaches.

Were you influenced by anyone’s work in integrative medicine to help you decide to go in that direction?

Early in my work, few professionals genuinely used an evidence-based approach in this area—most of the available information was excessively negative or positive and did not include much evidence. In the 1990s, I was influenced by the work of Dr Edzard Ernst in the United Kingdom.

My patients generally did not find either of these extreme, non-evidence-based approaches helpful—they wanted the “real deal” information without spin or sugar-coating.

How do you explain integrative medicine to patients and why they’d benefit from incorporating it into their own lives?  

I explain to patients that there is evidence that conventional MS medications have benefits for modifying MS disease course and treating MS symptoms. Still, there is also evidence that exercise, diet, emotional health, tobacco use, alcohol, and other medical conditions have essential effects on MS and general health and, therefore, MUST be incorporated into the treatment plan.

In your experience, does any one “type” of MS benefit more from integrative medicine than another?

I think all types of MS may benefit from this approach. In the specific case of progressive MS, for which many feel the treatment options are limited, I would argue that many therapies, primarily integrative, are available and should be used.

What has been the biggest game changer in how patients view integrative medicine?

I think the biggest game changer is that people with MS and professionals are more open to this approach and that more evidence is available to support the safe and effective use of these approaches.

What diet(s) do you suggest for the MS community?

I doubt there will ever be one best diet for MS—I think we may find one diet that’s the worst for MS…the standard American diet. For diet, I recommend:

• A generally healthy diet—in keeping with Michael Pollan’s quotation, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” Specific diets consistent with this include DASH, MIND, TLC, Weight Watchers, and vegetarian.
• Consider Vitamin D and B12 supplements if blood levels of these nutrients are low.
• Avoid or cautiously use most supplements---there are more than 200 supplements that raise concern for people with MS.
• Limit calorie intake to maintain a healthy body weight.

How much exercise do you recommend to patients?

For exercise, I also think that it is unlikely we will ever find the best program for people with MS. What I recommend is a personalized program that is enjoyable and generally has these features:

• 3-4 sessions per week, each lasting 30-60 minutes.
• 2:1 ratio of aerobic conditioning.
• Balance, stretching, and relaxation during or after exercise are fun!
• The exercise program should be developed in conjunction with a physical therapist for people with any type of disability.

Please explain your integrative MS model and the new MS care paradigm.

The new paradigm of care that I discuss is this integrative model applied to MS. I discuss in detail in my recent book, Optimal Health with MS. This approach utilizes conventional medicine as well as unconventional medicine and lifestyle strategies to treat MS but also to treat other medical conditions and maintain whole body health.

This approach has seven steps:

• Disease-modifying medication
• Symptomatic treatment—with conventional, unconventional, and lifestyle medicine
• Exercise
• Diet
• Personal and social well-being
• Tobacco and alcohol use
• Treatment and prevention of other medical conditions

What are your thoughts on medical marijuana for MS patients?

I think marijuana use needs to be thought through carefully for people with MS. As with any drug, one should weigh the risks and benefits of marijuana. Multiple studies in MS show that marijuana products may improve pain and one’s sense of muscle stiffness (spasticity).

Unfortunately, the products used in these studies are unavailable in the US, which leads to a challenge in relating these studies to day-to-day practice with products available in the US. Marijuana may interact with prescription medications and has possible adverse effects, such as addiction, motor vehicle accidents, dizziness, and impaired balance.

If you're interested in learning more about Dr. Bowling, here's a blurb about him from the Yale School of Medicine's website:

When he returned to his native Colorado 20 years ago to treat people with multiple sclerosis, Allen C. Bowling, M.D. ’88, Ph.D. ’88 believed he was well prepared. After earning a medical degree and a doctorate in pharmacology at Yale, he completed his neurology residency at the University of California, San Francisco. He spent three years as a fellow at Harvard.

“I was thinking, ‘Wow! I have such a great toolbox for doing clinical practice at a high level.’ ” Before long, however, Bowling recognized gaps in his knowledge. “There’s so much I don’t know, so much I didn’t get, in more than a decade of training.”

This realization grew out of the nature of multiple sclerosis (MS): this disease of the central nervous system is incurable and unpredictable and causes a constellation of symptoms. Although his patients generally took conventional medications for MS, Bowling discovered that most were interested in how such lifestyle issues as diet and exercise affect the disease. More than half pursued strategies not dreamed of in the medical school curriculum: reflexology, removal of dental fillings, marijuana, magnets, pressurized oxygen, and prayer. However, at that time, there were no reliable sources of MS-specific information in these areas.

“I realized that the quality of MS care could be improved by providing objective information about the safety and efficacy of these lifestyle and unconventional approaches to people with MS and also to health professionals."

UPDATE: Dr. Bowling's website shows that his clinical practice is now closed. His legacy will endure through his work and the numerous books he has written. I'm sure he's doing something extraordinary wherever he is.

The post Why We Need to Look Closer at Complementary Medicine for Our Health appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

A decade ago, I wrote a blog post about the dark clouds of depression. It was an important post written soon after the death of the brilliant and wildly gifted Robin Williams.

Although we didn't know it then, or at least I didn't, Williams faced a tough health challenge. So, of course, the media went into a frenzy, talking about Williams's suicide and the state of his mental health. They were wrong to give themselves the power to never walk in his shoes yet offer opinions about him anyway.

What gives anyone the right to judge someone else? As we know, with MS, walking in someone's shoes is essential before making snap judgments.

If you can't empathize with someone, move on instead of passing judgment.

Rest well, Robin

Living with MS or any illness requires prioritizing your mental and physical health to avoid psychological distress and mental health issues. Your health should be your top priority. Start by discussing your feelings with someone you trust, especially if you're newly diagnosed. Take advantage of the available help and resources. (Check MS Resources at the top of this page for a list of MS  Advocacy Resources.)

Find a trusted friend, family member, religious counselor, or licensed therapist. There's no shame in taking care of yourself first.

Seeing a psychologist was the best decision I ever made. I worked on addressing all of the anxiety, stress, and negative thoughts I was experiencing by learning how to utilize cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness. The world seemed dark at the time, but with hard work and determination, things began to look brighter. It's not a permanent fix, but now I know how to help myself and reach out to others whenever needed.

Growing up, I avoided confrontations by hiding my feelings and disappointments to keep the peace with others. I prioritized their needs over my own. I was a people-pleaser. Today, we know the dangers and how deeply our wounds can fester when we suppress our emotions. These wounds are profound and enduring.

When I got married, my husband and I made a pact always to be honest and open, even when it was hard. We continue to do this to this day, and our marriage has stayed strong.

I paid a heavy emotional price by staying quiet all those years ago. Now, I'm putting negative emotions where they belong through meditation, walks in nature, reading, writing, and art therapy.

In times of great crises, we need to feel safe and loved. The desire to feel heard enables us to reach out and communicate with others about what we're going through. Then, perhaps, one bad moment in somebody's life will hopefully lead to a better one, one day at a time.

I'm not a medical professional or trained in suicide prevention. But I care deeply about you.

Please seek help if you're struggling with your mental health. You are always important, loved, and needed. You always matter!

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and the National Institutes of Mental Health are offering digital shareables on suicide prevention. This is a great place to start if you or someone you know needs help.

"People can call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org for themselves or if they are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support. No matter where you live in the United States, you can reach a trained crisis counselor who can help."  https://go.nih.gov/hoMF6tt  #shareNIMH

Suicide is complicated and tragic, but it is often preventable. Knowing the warning signs for suicide and how to get help can help save lives. Learn about behaviors that may be a sign that someone is thinking about suicide. For more information, visit https://go.nih.gov/cw9p2vx  #shareNIMH

The post Battling the Dark Clouds of Depression When Living with MS appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

Here are six thoughtful ways to show kindness to people with Multiple Sclerosis or any disability.

As a freelance writer and health advocate, I strive to educate others about living with MS and other disabilities.

Because sometimes people don't believe your invisible symptoms.

I aim to shed light on daily struggles to foster compassion and understanding for others.

Step back to make way for a better world. 

1. Don’t feel sorry for us, but do us a favor by learning more about our illness. Then the next time we tell you we’re tired or seem to often cancel plans, you’ll have a better understanding of why.
2. We may not look sick, but our immune system tells a different story. The next time we need to occupy a handicapped parking spot, ask if our placard is registered before you begin shouting at us. We appreciate your concern, but we think you should treat a disabled person with the respect we deserve.
3. Practice compassion and tolerance whenever you see someone with a disability. Our road is a daily battle of maneuvering the challenges of life. The things able-bodied people take for granted, such as walking, talking, dressing, exercising, seeing, peeing, pooping, and intimacy, are considerably more difficult for people with disabilities.
4. Help us keep our self-respect intact. Imagine falling down in front of a crowd and people whispering that you look drunk. Or you attending an event with friends but cannot keep up with their fast pace. We don’t enjoy burdening others with our issues, but in our silence, we’d be comforted to know you understand why our bodies are disobeying us and that you’re willing to slow your pace down to help us feel better about ourselves.
5. Be patient. We are fearful of the next exacerbation that may wreak havoc on our bodies. So if you’re trying to make plans with us, and we seem to ask a lot of questions (how long will the event be, where is the nearest parking lot, is the venue accessible), please be mindful that there’s a reason why we’re asking so many questions. It’s not that we don’t want to see you; it’s simply that we need to take care of our MS.
6. We’re often tired. I know you are, too, but I doubt it’s the same fatigue. Because when we’re exhausted, it feels almost like we have a nasty case of the flu, only 1,000 times worse. Every part of our body cries out for a nap, and no matter where we are or what we’re doing, we have to find a place to rest. So please understand why we may have to leave a party early or cut our visit short. We’d love to stay, but our bodies yell at us to rest.

We’ll make up for lost time the next time we get together. At least that's what we keep telling our hearts.

The post Six Thoughtful Ways to Show Kindness to People Living with Multiple Sclerosis or Any Disability appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

Fear. Illness. Sadness. Anxiety. 

The words dangle before my eyes, suspended in midair as if to taunt me. They hang in the balance as constant reminders of stories flashing relentlessly through my mind. I close my eyes tightly, hoping the words disappear, leaving me alone forever. When I open them, they're still dancing wildly, mocking me for the hope that went unanswered.

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I'm not the only one struggling with negative thoughts; unfortunately, I have PLENTY of company.

In times of trouble, I find it helpful to turn to one of my favorite quotes from Rumi, who understood human suffering, resilience, and hope. I look to his  wisdom to remind me how inner pain forces us to realize what truly matters:

"The wound is the place where the light enters you."

Living with an illness is challenging, and these days, it's even more challenging, with global divisiveness, hatred, and violence adding significant stress to our lives. Stress can cause our symptoms to worsen.

With your permission, I'd like to offer some wisdom to help manage negative emotions and pesky thoughts. I believe it's possible for us to bring light and hope to ourselves and others when it's needed most.

Offer hope and authenticity instead of platitudes to those living with chronic illness.

People often mean well with trite platitudes like "When one door closes, another one opens" or "We get as much as we can handle." Those maxims were created for people looking for easy answers. The truth is, there are no easy answers when it comes to mental health. We can't shake it off or get over how we feel.  It takes a tremendous amount of hard work.

The lessons I've learned over the years often came from the brilliance of others who offer hope and resilience through their words or deeds.

I'll leave a few links to helpful resources at the end of this post.

The magical book.

When I was thirteen, I read Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet and was deeply moved. As the words washed over me, they sparked my inner spirit as if there were a birth; believe me, it was a birth. It was the beginning of my passion for philosophy and spirituality. Since then, that passion has helped me through some pretty dark times.

I've also learned from Mr. Rogers (yes, that Mr. Rogers) the importance of turning to "helpers.": 

"When I was a boy and saw scary things in the news, my mother would say, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"  --Fred Rogers

Change your perspective, change your world.

Gibran offered a way to look at life through a different lens. Changing your perspective can change your world. I found this article by Psychology Today helpful in shifting your mindset as Gibran prescribes.

If we adopt a more positive outlook on our experiences, we can find the strength to persevere through our most demanding challenges. Is this easy? Not at all, but it's worth a shot.

Philosophers, poets, religious leaders, trusted friends and family, online communities, and many more can contribute to our mental wellness plan. They are the helpers we should turn to, time and time again.

Avoid anyone toxic; your social circle should comprise of people with your best interests at heart.

Attitude is critical to living a life of joy.

I learned the importance of a positive attitude at a young age. Little did I know how handy this would be at a seminal moment in my life when, at twenty-eight years old, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and became part of the disability community

I leaned on Gibran's philosophy to help me face my most significant challenges.

Learning a bit about Buddhism also helped me deal with adversity. When things fall apart, try to find ways to feel grateful instead of angry. Facing fear instead of running away from it can give us the courage to grow stronger.

Confronting our fears can be complicated and overwhelming. I'm not a medical professional, so the only advice I can offer is to seek professional help if you need it. There's no shame in prioritizing your well-being.

I highly recommend talk therapy. From personal experience, it has "saved" me several times.

Sit. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Breathe.

Life can present us with many challenges that seem impossible to overcome. Our troubles can feel overwhelming, leading us to believe we’ll never recover.

We have two choices: we can either feel sorry for ourselves or see challenges as gifts that remind us it's time to make positive changes. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow.

You might be thinking, "Cathy, you're crazy! How can I grow and change when living with this blankety-blank illness that's overpowering? There's no way I can do that!

My answer is that I hear you and understand entirely. I've been there. But I also know from experience that if we do our best to feel lighter by trying integrative medicine, and working on our inner selves, it can help us relax, and it helps immeasurably.

Does that make sense? I hope so. Please let me know if you have any questions.

The importance of gratitude when facing chronic illness

Every morning, I name at least two things I'm grateful for.

My list always starts with my husband and son. Then, I have the ability to dress, bathe, and feed myself. I can walk, sometimes with a walking stick. I'm blessed to have the work I love, helping others feel less frightened and isolated on their health journey.

What are YOU grateful for?

It's okay to have bad days; that's fine; we all have them. Living with a chronic illness is never easy. Don't feel discouraged if you have days when you only want to lie in bed. That happens to all of us. Once in a while, that's perfectly okay!

I hope this post has been helpful and that your bright days will outnumber the dark ones.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

May the light enter you often and bring the inner peace you deserve.

NOTE: This post was originally posted in July 2015. It was updated and altered.

USEFUL LINKS:
Insight Timer - the free meditation app. (Including meditations for fear, anxiety, etc.)
The Mayo Clinic's take on integrative medicine.
Chopra: The Neuroscience Behind Gratitude: How Does Cultivating Appreciation Affect Your Brain?
Lion's Roar: Are You Listening? To Really Listen to Others We Must First Learn to Listen to Ourselves
VeryWell Health: Can Stress Trigger Multiple Sclerosis?

The post Where Can You Find Emotional Health While Living with Chronic Illness? appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

As a writer and health advocate, I am committed to raising awareness about living with multiple sclerosis and chronic illness.

Christine Miserandino's Spoon Theory (butyoudontlooksick.com):  "Spoonies" refer to people with chronic illnesses. The theory uses "spoons" as a metaphor to measure their daily energy levels. Some days, they may have an abundance of "spoons," while others may come up short.

Because sometimes, when people can’t see your disease, they don’t believe you have one. 

By shedding light on our everyday struggles, I aim to provide information that can foster the compassion and tolerance needed to bridge understanding gaps.

Step back to make way for a better world. 

How you can help someone with MS or other chronic illnesses:

1. Don’t feel sorry for us, but do us a favor by learning more about our illness.  Then, the next time we tell you we're tired or seem to cancel plans often, you’ll better understand why. Learn more about MS here

2. We may not look sick, but our immune system tells a different story. So, the next time we need to occupy a handicapped parking spot, please ask if our placard is registered before judging us. We truly appreciate your concern, but we deserve to be treated with respect. (This happened to me when a well-known broadcaster ignored my placard and instead spoke harshly to me.)

3. Practice compassion and tolerance whenever you see someone with a disability.  Our road is a daily battle of maneuvering the challenges of life.  The things able-bodied people take for granted, such as walking, talking, dressing, exercising, seeing, peeing, pooping, and intimacy, are considerably more difficult for people with disabilities.

4. Please help us maintain our self-respect. Picture falling in front of a crowd and hearing people whisper that you look drunk. Or imagine attending an event with friends but unable to keep up with their pace. We don't like burdening others with our issues. However, in our silence, we'd be comforted to know that you understand why our bodies disobey us and that you're willing to slow down to help us feel better about ourselves.

5. Be Patient. Please keep in mind that we might seem to ask a lot of questions when making plans. We're just trying to take care of our MS. We fear the next flare-up, so we want to make sure we can manage the event properly. It's not that we don't want to see you; it's just important for us to be prepared.

6. We're often tired.  I know you are, too, but I doubt it’s the same fatigue. Because when we're tired, it feels almost like we have a nasty case of the flu, only 1,000 times worse. Every part of our body cries out for a nap, and no matter where we are or what we're doing, we have to find a place to rest. So please understand why we may have to leave a party early or cut our visit short.  In a perfect world, we'd stay, but unfortunately, our brains yell at us to rest.

7. Living with chronic illness can be isolating at times. Dealing with a chronic illness is a common experience. There are days when I can barely get out of bed or do more than one activity at a time. It's easy to feel isolated, anxious, depressed, or have low self-esteem and self-confidence. A phone call or spending time with loved ones can make a huge difference. Put yourself in our shoes and try to understand our experiences. This will help you realize the value of reaching out to those you care about.

Important

The post Seven Ways You Can Help Others Living with Multiple Sclerosis appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

I received some challenging news from my neurologist, but I wasn't surprised. I've lived with Multiple Sclerosis for almost four decades, so I learned to expect the unexpected. Interestingly, after the doctor's appointment, a quote started to repeat in my head:

"God only gives us what we can handle." 

Given historical and recent events, I'm not convinced that no one faces more than they can handle. For now, I'll focus on the following mantra instead:

I envy people who seem to have smoother lives and don't have to worry about physical limitations, accessibility, or health issues that hinder simple pleasures. It's quite a blessing.

But millions of people face the challenges of illness and adversity in one way or another. Our special needs can create anxiety and sadness because life can be tough and frustrating. This isn't the life we imagined.

I searched for a quote that might give us some solace. The Buddha never disappoints:

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful." ~Buddha  

I guess it's time to tell you what I learned at my recent appointment with my neurologist, the catalyst for this post.

In recent years, I've been experiencing more MS symptoms. I frequently lose my balance while walking, and my right leg feels numb, weak, and heavy. I struggle with embarrassing bladder issues, and walking has become more challenging.

This has been a major concern as someone who loves spending time in nature.

I had no new lesions on my last MRI (pretty much the goal with MS), but I also had no remission (or return to normal) of the symptoms I was experiencing. In other words, new symptoms don't disappear; they're here to stay.

After 38 years of living with relapsing-remitting MS (the most common type of MS), I now have what's called secondary progressive MS.

I was almost expecting this news.

I'll never allow a few words established by the medical community to define me.

A new "type" of MS won't change who I am. It's a label, a few words strung together to categorize our disease. As a friend recently said, "We're not beat yet!" You betcha.

Let's face it: not every day is our best. Sometimes, we feel sad or discouraged. There are days when we struggle to get out of bed, get angry at our MS, or reluctantly cancel plans because we can't keep up with the pace of others.

This is normal and human; it's impossible to maintain a positive or resilient attitude every single day.

I learned that instead of quashing negative emotions, we have to experience them fully. That's what "experts" say. (Listen to Melli O'Brien talk about regulating negative emotions. I subscribe to her newsletter and find her wisdom comforting.)

Negative emotions are inevitable; we must confront them if we want to return to the light.

How I focus on the positive while living with the unpredictability of MS

It's crucial to learn how to navigate life's challenges effectively. There are numerous ways to achieve this. Here's my approach. What do you do?

1. Do what you love.  Some ideas include playing a sport, spending more time with your children, joining a gym, writing or knitting, or picking up a new hobby or one you've put aside.  Refocusing your attention can revitalize and refresh your mind, body, and spirit.
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is invaluable.  "Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events.  The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change." ~National Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists  
3. Count Your Blessings. It's important to recognize and appreciate the good things in your life. These can include your loved ones, your achievements at work, and other positive aspects. Take the time to focus on these blessings and express your gratitude to those who have been a part of them. You may be surprised at how much joy they bring you!
4. Take time for yourself. Take a bubble bath and light some candles for a relaxing staycation.  Get a hot stone massage.  Take a walk in the park to surround yourself with the beauty of nature.  Watch an old movie that makes you laugh.  Do something that feels good and rejuvenates you.  You deserve it.
5. Set daily goals for yourself. Use the ease of a program like Google Calendar to schedule personal tasks that make you happy. These personal goals will help you feel good and are important for your well-being.
6. Don't let a bad day get you down. Remind yourself of your successes and those who love and support you unconditionally. Life is filled with ups and downs. How you handle them is what's important. You're a badass! You're a survivor! You—and we—can do this! We can do hard things together.
7. Check my MS RESOURCES page for more information about MS and possible programs that may interest you.

The miracle of everyday blessings

My wise cousin once said that any test we face is a sign that something wonderful is about to happen.

Her advice aligns with the quote that's been on my mind. The strength we need to endure lies within us. We must believe in the miracle of everyday blessings because we've been given the power to change how we think and feel in any situation. We can do this, I promise you.

I've learned to live within my abilities and adapt as best as possible. I don't want to dwell on the past; I want to live for today, right now in this moment. I'm grateful that I can continue to have that choice!

How do you stay positive when life becomes challenging? Will you follow any of my suggestions to live a positive life? Do you have any other suggestions? Please let me know in the comment section below. 

The post When A Diagnosis is Challenging it's Time to Stand Strong(er) appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

There are many reasons why you, yes YOU, are enough exactly as you are.

Let's face it. We're living in extraordinarily turbulent times on every front. When you add living with a chronic illness to that mix, you can be sure that stress and anxiety will pound on your front door.  

Our strength, resilience, and self-confidence are being put to the test.

As an advocate, I communicate daily with many individuals within the multiple sclerosis community. This year has been particularly challenging for all of us, and I've been wondering how I can be of more assistance. Many of them seem to be struggling with their self-esteem, questioning their place in the world, and feeling afraid of how current events may affect their MS.

Despite having several constructive conversations with them, they need reminders that they are enough just the way they are.

Simplistic, I know, but very powerful.

I sat down and wrote the following for them. It must have hit a nerve because it drew a lot of attention on social media—and not only from those living with MS.

Can you guess why?

No one escapes this life without facing hurdles. We all have struggles, and sometimes, they feel insurmountable. Sometimes, we need extra assurances to help us feel protected and sure of ourselves. On those days, we need someone to remind us that we are perfect just as we are. 

Here's YOUR reminder. 

Living with a disability can sometimes make you less productive than you want to be.

You are enough.

The post Six Reasons Why You're Always Enough appeared first on An Empowered Spirit | A Life with Multiple Sclerosis.

I've been thinking about communities and their crucial role in our lives. A community is a gathering place for people with similar interests, but the plural of community is communities. Communities serve different purposes. Communities can fulfill our need for engagement and knowledge, provide us with comfort and guidance, or offer us a secure place to seek solace.

In the current world climate, having many communities to lean on is critical for good physical and mental health.

Think about it. Where do you turn when you’re sad, scared, or lonely? When you want to network with others, where do you go? When illness strikes, who do you turn to for support and guidance? When you feel helpless or angry, who's there to listen to you?

Communities filled with empathetic people are a critical resource.

I remember thinking about communities in a new way when the junior United States Senator Barack Obama announced his presidential candidacy in early 2007. I read about the work he did in the early 1980s as a community organizer in the poorer neighborhoods of the South Side of Chicago. I had never thought much about community organizers before and was curious to learn more.

I learned that being a community organizer gives someone a feeling of commitment and purpose while helping those in need. 

In a New York Times article titled “Obama’s Organizing Years, Guiding Others and Finding Himself” (July 7, 2008), we learn that Obama worked tirelessly to help a multicultural, lower-income neighborhood wrestle with tough issues like asbestos removal, public safety, and employment. He formed a lifelong commitment to a community he loved.

I grew up in a tight-knit community where neighbors helped neighbors. Children played outside until dark, and parents kept their doors unlocked in case a child was thirsty, needed a bathroom, or had a problem.

Today, we live in a world that needs stronger communities, but I see them crumbling around us. We’re being pitted one against the other in ways I never imagined.

It’s a challenging time to be alive.

But I’m an optimist who still believes there are more good people in the world than bad, more kindness than evil, and more hope than despair.

Holding onto hope helps me survive and rise above anger that tries to distort my view of the world.

Anxiety and frustration are so palpable these days that many of us living with chronic illness may suffer physical and emotional stress because of the strain. I look to my mentors for strength and inspiration.  

A great example of a mentor who created a community of inclusion and understanding was Fred Rogers from "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood." Rogers was a larger-than-life mentor featured in a documentary called “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”

I’ve always admired his goodness and compassion and find comfort in his thoughts:

“My mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”

I have many mentors, but that’s not what this piece is about. It’s about communities and creating your own to help you live a balanced, joyful, informed, and peaceful life.

Here are some communities I look to for strength, hope, and joy. They are varied and unique to my needs:

• Family, friends, and acquaintances  
• Mentors (both alive and gone.) Many are family, writers, poets, artists, world leaders, and spiritual leaders 
• The Multiple Sclerosis and Chronic Illness Community
• My gut health and migraine community
• The healthcare community of doctors, nurses, therapists, and researchers
• Communities of women, including empowerment groups, writing groups, book groups, and charity groups
• The spirituality community
• Communities that bring about positive change in the world 
• Classic film and book lovers groups
• Communities that love and protect all animals
• Arts and culture groups

What communities do you rely on? Who listens to your thoughts and ideas? Who inspires you? Who keeps you sane, balanced, or joyful? Who comforts you when you're feeling depressed or anxious? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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