The best definition for chronic illness that I could find on the internet is from Psychology Today:

"A chronic illness is a condition that endures for at least a year and requires ongoing medical care or consistently limits the scope of a person's daily activities. Major chronic conditions include cancer, heart disease, diabetes, lung disease, asthma, HIV/AIDS, stroke, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, Crohn's disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and kidney disease, among others. Tens of millions of American adults live with a chronic illness, and many of them live with at least two. Life with a chronic illness typically requires lifestyle changes that may be challenging or stressful to adopt, such as a new diet or exercise regimen, demanding medication and checkup schedules, and limitations on social life, work, and travel. Any of these can cause stress, anxiety, anger, and in some cases, depression."

Anyone diagnosed with a chronic illness understands this definition well. We experience it daily. When our doctor utters the name of our diagnosis, our lives change forever.

How do we handle this new kink in our lives? It’s not something we planned on or dreamed about. 

Reflecting on a new path

Some people feel relieved after finally learning a name for their symptoms, while others are completely caught off guard. But every patient is in the same boat when the smoke clears, and we realize there’s no magic pill or surgery to remove the illness permanently.  

A range of unexpected emotions wash over us as we realize our chronic illness is here to stay. 

It’s a scary time, and feelings of grief, fear, or anxiety are not only understandable but normal.   

Feeling fearful, overwhelmed, or anxious are common emotions after a diagnosis

When are our feelings typical, and when aren’t they? Emotions that affect mood and behavior should be carefully monitored for short or prolonged periods. Patients should familiarize themselves with what’s considered “normal” and what isn't for the sake of sound mental health. 

Let’s take a look at some everyday struggles that may arise when living with a chronic illness to see if they're “typical” or should raise a red flag.    

Sadness, frustration, anxiety, loneliness, or depression:

Typical response: When diagnosed with a chronic illness, our physical and mental states are affected. It’s not unheard of to feel sad, frustrated, anxious, lonely, or depressed. Our emotions and behaviors may change, so we must be mindful of our feelings. We need to make our health a top priority. Write your feelings down in a journal, reach out to trusted loved ones, take walks outdoors, and spend time with family and friends. Reach out to a qualified therapist if you need extra help.

It’s important not to push your feelings aside but acknowledge them because, according to Tori Rodriguez in an article in Scientific American titled “Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being” (May 1, 2013):

“In fact, anger and sadness are an important part of life, and new research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment.” 

Red Flag: If depression or other negative feelings last for weeks or months, it’s time to seek the help of a professional. If these emotions negatively impact your life, speak to a qualified therapist who can help you sort out your feelings. Remember, there’s no shame in taking care of your well-being.

Staying home for extended periods

Typical response: Your new normal takes some getting used to. There are physical and emotional issues to consider, such as difficulty in walking, problems with vision, weakness and numbness, or medication side effects. It takes time to feel stronger and more balanced. Laying low for a while because you’re not up to socializing is a typical side effect of a new diagnosis. Go easy on yourself without judgment. Only you will know when you’re ready to begin socializing again.  

Red Flag: If you find yourself constantly cancelling professional or personal appointments, refusing telephone calls, and becoming a recluse, that’s a point of concern. You may feel sorry for yourself or see yourself as less than whole. It’s hard to come to terms with a lingering illness, but withdrawing from the world isn’t the answer. Reach out to trusted loved ones, speak to your religious leader, or find a qualified therapist who can help you realize that life doesn’t stop after a chronic illness. Hope, love, friendship, and a whole world await you.

Loss of self-esteem

Typical response: Did you used to be a great athlete, an accomplished painter, a busy mom, or a successful businessperson? Whatever and whoever you were before your diagnosis, you are still basically that same person. Perhaps you can no longer do what you used to do. That's typical if your diagnosis makes you feel sad, wistful, angry, frustrated, or less than a whole person.

For example, I love the natural world. I used to take long walks on nature trails or in the woods whenever I could. I walked for miles. After I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, my legs became weaker and increasingly numb, my balance was troubling, and unrelenting fatigue was a constant visitor. I often can’t walk very far, and leg pain frequently occurs. I feel angry and resentful that my body disobeys me. I feel less than whole. Physical therapy and complementary medicine are helpful. They're not a cure, but they still give me hope.

Yes, there are changes attached to living with a chronic illness, but with management and creative thinking, you can find options to help you live a quality life within your new normal. 

Red Flag: Feeling sorry for yourself, being embarrassed about your inability to keep up with others, or feeling angry at yourself or the world are signs of low self-esteem. These feelings can be concerning if they persist for several weeks or months. If you are experiencing any of these emotions or are having thoughts of self-harm, it is important to reach out to a qualified counselor as soon as possible. You deserve the help you need.

If you are considering suicide or know someone who is, please call the 988 Lifeline immediately to speak to a counselor. All conversations are strictly confidential. The hotline is available 24/7.

There is a community to lean on for help. Count on it.

You are never alone. There are communities available for anyone living with a chronic illness who are ready to help you. Your mental wellness is crucial, so do your research and seek guidance, support, or friendship. You'll be glad you did.