In the age of “fake news” smart readers have become more scrupulous about the information they read. They can smell dishonesty and insincerity a mile away. As children, we learn the importance of telling the truth but somewhere along the line, some adults forget that lesson.

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” ~Oscar Wilde

I find myself at another crossroads of telling my own truth because I want to be open about my journey. It’s not an easy one to discuss but I know I need to tell it.

I thought long and hard about whether to write this post. As I quietly thought about my dilemma I again thought about Elizabeth Lesser’s inspiring book “Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow” as it reminded me that breaking myself open would not only be cathartic but could also bridge the gap between despair and empowerment for others.

The first year I began to blog I was hesitant and anxious about revealing my health-related stories. I didn’t want to sound whiny or absurd. Then I gained confidence when I realized I was making a difference. Readers would talk about a sense of renewed courage and determination to fight the daily struggles of chronic illness. That gave me the encouragement to keep on writing.   

So here I am, once again, telling my story. This time I’ll take a few cleansing breaths before I begin.

This new diagnosis is a doozy.

In the summer of 2017 I began noticing some hair loss. I'd find more than the usual amount of hairs in my brush, clumps of hair in my hands while shampooing and areas of my scalp that weren’t previously visible when I looked in the mirror.

I thought this might be due to age, or from the stress of losing loved ones over a twelve month period of time - my beloved father-in-law then my beloved father, then our sweet and amazing cat, Max. (Only pet lovers will understand the heartbreak of losing a pet.)

This past summer I made an appointment to see a dermatologist. He tested for the possibility of other autoimmune diseases like Lyme and was happy to report the results were negative.

Then he cleared his throat to tell me something I didn’t understand. I asked him to repeat it.  

I have female pattern alopecia (androgenetic alopecia.) Before you start googling it here’s the definition:

“Progressive loss of scalp hair in women, characterized by diffuse thinning on the crown but rarely leading to baldness; androgenetic alopecia. Also called female pattern hair loss.” Medical Dictionary

Female pattern alopecia requires a medical diagnosis and I’ve had two opinions from two dermatologists. They both took blood tests and scalp biopsies. FPA isn’t curable, it’s genetic and for me, it's surreal.

There isn’t much research in the area of hair loss. For now, I’m using the daily topical treatment Rogaine for men (5% minoxidil) that’s FDA approved. Rogaine doesn’t rescue hair but stimulates new hair growth. If you stop using it hair will continue to shed. I’ll be using Rogaine for the rest of my life. There’s no guarantee it will work, but it’s the only game in town.

In addition to Rogaine, I’m taking the prescription Spironolactone, a diuretic (water pill) that also blocks the androgen (hormone) that miniaturizes hair follicles. This medication is supposed to reduce hair shedding and increase hair growth. Again, no guarantees.

I’ve lost hair around the top and sides of my hairline and at the crown. Overall my hair is now thinner and grows slowly after a trip to the salon.

I’m also following the advice of Dr. Josh Axe, a natural medicine doctor and clinical nutritionist, by massaging a mixture of essential oils into my scalp (clary sage, rosemary, jojoba oil, grapeseed oil, and cedarwood) every night.

It’s ideal to keep stress at bay, weed out toxic behavior, eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. I already follow an anti-inflammatory diet for MS since MS is an inflammatory immune condition. I practice gentle yoga, meditate daily, and attend weekly sessions of acupuncture by a nurse who’s also an expert in Chinese medicine.

So there you have it, my official third diagnosis.

Multiple Sclerosis, SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) and female pattern alopecia all have something to do with inflammation. They’re also incurable.

My brain, gut and hair follicles are under attack and I wish I could win the war.

Sometimes I harbor dark feelings that my body is failing me after fighting so many uphill battles for so many years. Learning that I am losing hair brought on a different kind of darkness, the kind that stems from vanity - yes, I’ll admit it - and feeling less than feminine.

When I’m living in that dark space I know how to crawl out. I count all of my blessings. Aside from supportive family and friends I know that none of my diagnoses are terminal and for that I am deeply grateful.

Well-meaning family and friends tell me their hair is also thinning, but it’s simply not the same. Thinning hair is never fun for anyone and I’d never pass judgment on how others feel about their hair. The changes in our bodies as the year's pass can be difficult.

But hair thinning and alopecia are two different things.

When I read discussions in private Facebook groups about women’s hair loss and notice threads about the best wigs and transplants it’s unsettling. I want my thick, curly, mind-of-its-own hair back. Shame on me for ever complaining about it.  

My hair over the years

For now I can cover my bare scalp with my curls. I hope Rogaine will help restore or strengthen the hair follicles.

Now the work begins again. I know what I have to do. Dig in my heels and go into crazy researcher mode because It’s best to start treatments as soon as possible to avoid irreparable hair loss.  

I hope by telling my story I can help remove the stigma attached to women’s hair loss. Women should be confident no matter what they/we look like. Our value lies in who we are.

Please don’t feel sorry for me. I really don't want that. My new reality requires me to stay strong. No stress. No panic. No sorrow.

My other diagnoses taught me many lessons, to hold on tight, hope for the best, ask questions, communicate with others, consult with the best doctors, remain calm and put your health first. 

Please share your thoughts, recommendations, and/or suggestions. Do you have ideas on taming inflammation? Do you have SIBO, female pattern alopecia or MS? Have you tried anything that does or doesn't work? Have you used complementary medicine to address your condition(s)? Can you suggest a reputable specialist/trichologist?

Trichologists are hair and scalp specialists (one type of skin specialist) who diagnose the causes of hair fall, hair breakage, hair thinning, miniaturization of hairs, diseases of the scalp, and treat according to cause. - Wikipedia  

One last thing: I know I’ll always be okay because…..

One morning as I was inspecting my thinning spots in the mirror my husband caught a glimpse of the sadness in my eyes. He walked over, gave a shy smile, kissed my forehead and my head. I feel truly loved and that will help me through any rough patches ahead. With him in my corner, there’ll always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

What a corny ending, but I’ve always been a sucker for them.

Here's a list of what I am currently using to fight FPA. The shampoo is a bit pricey but hopefully will be worth it. All products were ordered on Amazon.com.

I won't receive any commissions for your purchases. I list them for informational purposes only.

Shampoo and conditioner

Left to right: Hair Max is a natural supplement to strengthen hair and block DHT, Saw Palmetto is a natural hair supplement to help fight hair loss, Toppik is a powder of keratin hair fibers used to give the appearance of thick, full hair.

Products recommended to me:

"iRestore Laser Hair Growth System + Rechargeable Battery Pack – FDA-Cleared Hair Loss Product - Treats Thinning Hair for Men & Women - Laser Hair Therapy Restores Hair Thickness, Volume, Density"~Amazon.com

Other recommendations:
Davina's Shampoo and Conditioner
Bamboo based shampoo
PRP (platelet-rich plasma) Therapy - A three-step medical treatment where a patient’s blood is drawn, processed, and then injected into the scalp.

NOTE: This blog post is not meant to serve as medical advice or a recommendation for treatment. This is my own unique story. If you think you're losing more hair than usual consider scheduling a consultation with a qualified doctor.