“When you fill the Universe with positive thoughts, it will return the same to you.”
“You are in charge of your own life. Your destiny is in your hands.”
“Focus on what you have to create more abundance in your life.”
This has been some of the advice I’ve received lately by well-meaning people. People who believe in me. They believe in who I am and what my personal message is. These are pleasant platitudes that, when I hear them, I want to immediately immerse myself in their words, allowing every syllable to pour over me to help me get closer to the success and joy I think I deserve.
Deserve?
What we deserve (or what we believe we deserve) and what we achieve are two completely different things. Life becomes more complicated as we age, and the good things we thought we deserved can sometimes be remote. They are not handed to us on a silver platter.
It requires a lot of hard work.
As I look around at people I know and care about I see a lot of success. The book they’ve just completed. The fabulous vacation they’ve just enjoyed. The second home they recently purchased. I am happy and proud of them, knowing the hard work and determination it took to reach their goals. I am truly – and thoroughly – thrilled for them. Knowing they are happy has always been enough for me.
But lately I’ve also been feeling envy, and that is a side of me that I don’t particularly care for.
Envy is a useless emotion, yet a very natural one. We watch from the back seat as others live their lives in ways we wish we could.
As I begin to take a closer examination at myself and why I’m feeling this way, I’ve discovered that what my envy is doing is showing me what I want for myself.
Okay, that is pretty apparent; nothing new there, right? But learning that my desire is the underlying element in envy –that is where the lesson is.
Remember in the movie Silver Linings Playbook when Jennifer Lawrence told Bradley Cooper to “read the signs”? Here is my sign. My envy is telling me what I desire, and my desire is what is propelling me into action to work harder to reach my goals and discover my dreams.
That concept is something I can live with.
So I’m continuing to dance as fast as I can by working harder to reach my personal and professional goals.
I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to make positive and rewarding changes in my life so I can alter the direction of my path. I want to change my place in the world to the front seat, doing all I can to make my life an even better one.
Since I love making lists, I put together a short one. I’m using it as my guide for achieving what I want - no, what I need – to do for myself this year.
Better Health – In December I began my relationship with Jenny Craig, starting a new journey of eating well for better health. I am stepping up my daily exercise regimen in my quest to age gracefully, and I feel good knowing I’m taking better care of my body. There is nothing more important than trying to stay healthy. How are you taking better care of your health?
Writing – This year I promised myself to focus on my writing. As a member of Midlife Boulevard, a blogging community that is made up of over 700 women, many extraordinarily gifted writers empower me every day. Many of them are published authors, and seeing their work inspires me to want to publish my own.
A few of them generously sent me their books, asking for nothing in return. Elin Stebbels Wadal’s, Tornado Warning: A Memoir of Teen Dating and Violence and it’s Effects on a Woman’s Life and Doreen McGettigan’s Bristol bOYZ Stomp are two works I look forward to reading, not only for their content but also to learn more about writing, publishing and promoting.
Social – Being a writer can be lonely. I wake up and turn on my laptop, finally shutting it down at the end of the evening. My contact with the outside world is mainly through social media. So I’ve made a pact to arrange social outings at least once a week. Whether it’s with family, friends or business colleagues, getting out into the “real” world restores my sanity. It also gives me more ideas for stories!
What changes are you making to create a better life?
NOTE: *I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on food for this review. There was no compensation. All opinions are solely my own. NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.
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I don't like the emotion of envy and have replaced it with admiration. Which to me is far more useful and positive....and even empowering!
I love that quote and believe it 100%.
I love your list. I can't say I've been envious but I have struggled with being stuck the past 18 months. I'm digging my way out...
Thank you SO much for the shout out, you are so kind.
I am starting Writer's Wednesday's this week on my blog where I am hoping to share everything I have learned, mistakes and right moves I've made along the way to publishing. I'm hoping to inspire others to tell their stories.
There are plenty of stars in the sky for all of us, we just have to hold our heads up and grab one...
I feel like my life is an unfinished painting. I keep adding color to it..... making changes. Cathy, you have a beautiful dance of life. Keep dancing......:>)
I truly admire your honesty and your willingness to share your vulnerability. Those are extraordinary character traits! I think we need to look at the second half of our lives with optimism and enthusiasm mixed with a plan of some sort! It sounds like you are well on your way!
You are one of the most positive people I have ever met, Cathy. You epitomize the notion of making lemonade out of lemons to put a more positive spin on things. Like Silver Linings Playbook, you always look for the silver lining. I wish for you everything you wish for, because you deserve every bit of it!
Congratulations Cathy! I so agree you are right in recognizing that envy can be nothing more than what you are noticing in others that you would like to experience in your own life. I've been listening to a lot of Abraham-Hicks this year. (I knew about them for years and years and this year just heard one and stayed with it) And one thing that I hear over and over and am reminded from my other studies is a message that the Universe is always saying "Yes!" to our dreams and desires. Things are always working out for us based upon what we believe in and focus our attention on. What we think about, we bring about, etc. etc. And while I agree with much of what Abraham-Hicks teaches, what has been really helpful for me is listening to them on Youtube talks every day when I do my walking. For anyone who is open to them, I strongly recommend that as a GREAT way to reach every one of the intentions we set for ourselves. ~Kathy
Cathy,
I am so thankful that I became acquainted with your blog. Can you read my mind? So often, I read your words and I feel like you are in my head. It is such a comfort and also so motivating to know that there people out there who like lists, use lists, constantly try to find ways to keep themselves on track, recognize envy for what it is and finds a good use for it, listens to other's advice and the list (yes, there's my List Use AGAIN) goes on and on. Thank you for inspiring me,
Sincerely,
Mary Sypawka
Cathy, Envy can either destroy you or propel you. Sounds like you are opting for the latter - good choice! PS. You can do it. Success does not come overnight, trust me. Keep plugging away!
OK my friend...here is the neon "sign" for all of us and you put it so well: "My envy is telling me what I desire, and my desire is what is propelling me into action to work harder to reach my goals and discover my dreams." Bravo! I get the whole well meaning positive message things and buy in to all that but some days we just need to take a good, hard look in the mirror; acknowledge all of what we see (warts and all), laugh it off; kick ourselves in the back side; and get on with the business of "being" what we need to be in spite and because of it all.
Carry on with your awesome self!
Envy is like a dirty little secret no one wants to admit - me included. Even though I don't have a jealous bone in my body, I have felt envious on occasion. And when I feel it, I immediately try to turn it into aspiration.
"My envy is telling me what I desire, and my desire is what is propelling me into action to work harder to reach my goals and discover my dreams."
The beauty I see in this can be applied to all "negatives." Use it to help you transcend.
I'm so grateful to MB for bringing us together!
Oh, this is so perfect for the moment...how to frame envy as admiration and motivation... thanks for much for this. Over the past few days my husband and I have been talking about how to move forward to own the life we want...does it mean having less so we can do more? Perhaps...more to ponder.
Envy, not taken to far, is a healthy and normal emotion to feel from time to time. You are to be envied for your self-awareness and generosity of spirit. I see great things ahead!
I don't want to be envious of someone but it has made me take a long look at myself and make some changes. I have always been wife, mother, grandma and now I have the added role of being a caregiver. But for the first time in a long time I have decided that I am also Rena, that what I think and feel are important to and I'm not so easily pushed into the back seat. That maybe for once in my life I'm gonna drive and see where I end up. If I don't like what I find I can always pull the map out and change directions. But I'll never regret the trip!
I like the idea that envy is showing what you want for yourself -- and you know I believe you can get that, whatever it may be. You are an amazing person and I bet a lot of people are envious over you, too. Keep reaching for the stars, my friend. They are so within your grasp. xo
This is a great post. One I can totally relate to. It's natural to feel envious of others. I often feel that way. Which doesn't mean I'm not happy for my friends successes. But like you, I know it means I just have to try harder and stay focused.
I think heartfelt writing like this helps others who struggle with similar challenges. You've offered an upbeat attitude and message on how to move forward. You are, as others have said, a positive uplifting voice.