“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.” ~Oliver Wendall Holmes

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  The sun is shining, and the leaves are autumnal tones of orange, yellow, and red.  The air feels crisp and clean, and promising.  It’s invigorating to step outside and see the palette of colors we are blessed to enjoy.

But when Halloween is over, the pumpkins are thrown away, and the trees are bare. I unconsciously begin to grind my teeth in anticipation of winter.  Winter, to me, is simply a season of coats, gloves, and long johns.  It’s shoveling snow, driving on ice, and tolerating cold hands and feet for at least four months.  (Thank goodness my hot flashes help to keep me warm.)

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” ~Carl Reiner

Many of my friends relish winter.  They love skiing and ice skating.  I never quite got the hang of it, either.  Many years ago, I drove to Vermont with friends who were avid skiers.  We decided to go cross-country skiing on a picturesque golf course in the majestic Green Mountains when we arrived.  We had a quick lesson.  When it was over, my friends took off across the hills as if they’d been doing it all their lives. Me?  I skied down a tiny hill, panicked when I didn’t know how to stop, sat down, and took off my skis.  When we met at the clubhouse, I was warm and toasty after several glasses of wine.  I was their comic relief.

“A change in the weather is sufficient to recreate the world and ourselves.” ~Marcel Proust

Now that I’m in my fifties, my husband and I discuss the direction of our lives and where we see ourselves in five, ten, and twenty years.  The first point of discussion is always the same - where do we want to live?  Anyone that knows us has heard us talk, sometimes ad nauseum, about moving elsewhere.  Every year we think it will be our last to survive another winter.  But then our only child, our son, realized he is happiest living exactly where he is (and we’ve traveled to many places in and out of the country with him.)  That fact alone has kept us solidly in the same place, and we’ve weaved our life around it.

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” ~Albert Einstein

Plenty of “Best Places to Live” lists are compiled and splashed across premiere magazine headlines to catch our eye. Money Magazine listed Carmel in their Number One slot.  No, not that Carmel – Carmel, Indiana – a quiet bedroom community that boasts “excellent schools, a big sports and recreation center, a performing arts center, and wide bike lanes.”  But I don’t want to live in Indiana - they also have cold temperatures during winter.  Business Week compiled its list of “America’s Best Cities to Live” and lists Los Angeles as Number 1.  According to them, despite smog and traffic, Los Angeles has “iconic beaches, celebrity culture, and more than 8,000 restaurants to keep 3.8 million inhabitants occupied.”  I’ve been to Los Angeles and love California, but Los Angeles is not for me.  Then there’s Forbes Magazine.  They published their “World’s 20 Best Places To Live,” and no city in the U.S. made their top 20.  The closest in proximity is Toronto, Canada, or Vancouver, Canada.  Their complete list named New York City as 100.  That brings me right back to where I started.

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

In our Second Chapter, we have many decisions to choose our “best place to live.”  Do we want to live near our children?  As we age, it makes sense to live close to family.  Do our parents need us?  We are the “sandwich generation” and should take responsibility for caring for our aging parents.  Do we want to begin anew finding friends?  Leaving friends behind can be sad and difficult.  I consider it a challenge, adding new friends to my roster of forever friends. Do we want to downsize by purchasing a condo rather than a house or rent first to see whether we like a new area? All of these questions require careful consideration.

The “Best Place to Live” is where you’ll be happiest according to your priorities.  Only you know where that will be. Here’s our list of what we are looking for in our Second Chapter:

• Warm weather.
• Lower cost of living.
• Access to culture (we were weaned on Manhattan’s finest theater, museums, restaurants, and music.)
• A community of active people within our age group.  We are not moving to retire but toward warmer weather, enabling us to live an active lifestyle all year round.
•  A nearby sports arena. This is negotiable since my husband is firmly embedded in being a San Francisco Giant fan and a University of Wisconsin everything fan.
•  Quality healthcare.
•  A strong job market offering great flexibility for career changers.

Perhaps we’re being a bit unrealistic, yet we’re determined to keep our eye on the prize in finding the best place for us. Our problem is that we’ve either visited or read about many places we’d like to try.  Our cats are so lucky to have nine lives and nine different places to live.

 “The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.”  ~Thomas Carlyle

I’ll admittedly miss the change of seasons.  I love each one in splendor, even the beauty of the first snowfall.  A friend of mine living in Florida told me it took her a while to get used to having only two seasons. So I gathered a bunch of fallen leaves and mailed them to her.  As for me, I’ve lived through the change of seasons for 53 years, and although I’ll miss them, I’m ready to take the next step in my life.

I’ll have to reconcile what my son will decide to do, whether he’ll stay here or move away with us.  It will be difficult for me if he chooses to stay.  I love him so dearly. But I’ll also celebrate his decision to begin the next step of his life, and, knowing him; he will celebrate ours.  As for my parents, well, that’s another post.

What’s on your list of where you’d like to live during your Second Chapter?  Can you visualize living where you are for the next 5, 10, or 20 years, or would you rather live elsewhere?  Can you add anything to my list that I haven’t mentioned?  I’d love to hear what you have to say!

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