As a writer and health advocate, I am committed to raising awareness about living with multiple sclerosis and chronic illness.

Christine Miserandino's Spoon Theory (butyoudontlooksick.com):  "Spoonies" refer to people with chronic illnesses. The theory uses "spoons" as a metaphor to measure their daily energy levels. Some days, they may have an abundance of "spoons," while others may come up short.

Because sometimes, when people can’t see your disease, they don’t believe you have one. 

By shedding light on our everyday struggles, I aim to provide information that can foster the compassion and tolerance needed to bridge understanding gaps.

Step back to make way for a better world. 

How you can help someone with MS or other chronic illnesses:

1. Don’t feel sorry for us, but do us a favor by learning more about our illness.  Then, the next time we tell you we're tired or seem to cancel plans often, you’ll better understand why. Learn more about MS here

2. We may not look sick, but our immune system tells a different story. So, the next time we need to occupy a handicapped parking spot, please ask if our placard is registered before judging us. We truly appreciate your concern, but we deserve to be treated with respect. (This happened to me when a well-known broadcaster ignored my placard and instead spoke harshly to me.)

3. Practice compassion and tolerance whenever you see someone with a disability.  Our road is a daily battle of maneuvering the challenges of life.  The things able-bodied people take for granted, such as walking, talking, dressing, exercising, seeing, peeing, pooping, and intimacy, are considerably more difficult for people with disabilities.

4. Please help us maintain our self-respect. Picture falling in front of a crowd and hearing people whisper that you look drunk. Or imagine attending an event with friends but unable to keep up with their pace. We don't like burdening others with our issues. However, in our silence, we'd be comforted to know that you understand why our bodies disobey us and that you're willing to slow down to help us feel better about ourselves.

5. Be Patient. Please keep in mind that we might seem to ask a lot of questions when making plans. We're just trying to take care of our MS. We fear the next flare-up, so we want to make sure we can manage the event properly. It's not that we don't want to see you; it's just important for us to be prepared.

6. We're often tired.  I know you are, too, but I doubt it’s the same fatigue. Because when we're tired, it feels almost like we have a nasty case of the flu, only 1,000 times worse. Every part of our body cries out for a nap, and no matter where we are or what we're doing, we have to find a place to rest. So please understand why we may have to leave a party early or cut our visit short.  In a perfect world, we'd stay, but unfortunately, our brains yell at us to rest.

7. Living with chronic illness can be isolating at times. Dealing with a chronic illness is a common experience. There are days when I can barely get out of bed or do more than one activity at a time. It's easy to feel isolated, anxious, depressed, or have low self-esteem and self-confidence. A phone call or spending time with loved ones can make a huge difference. Put yourself in our shoes and try to understand our experiences. This will help you realize the value of reaching out to those you care about.

Important