One of my favorite books is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Her vibrant characters are woven around themes of social standing and strength of character, drawing the reader into a world different from ours.
Jane Austen
When you read about the protagonist, Elizabeth Bennett, glancing at the wealthy and arrogant Mr. Darcy with a restrained yet loving expression, you have to wonder how the author, an unmarried woman of modest means, could develop characters that were not a reflection of her own life (her life was spent among the “lower fringes of English landed gentry.”) These stories were born in her fertile imagination.
Lately, I have asked how this book was promoted in the 19th century.
Ms. Austen did not have a publicist. She did not have the Internet. She did not have a telephone.
Today, Jane Austen would need a computer.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between Jane Austen’s literary world and the literary world of today.
Do you think Jane Austen would be writing posts on Facebook, tweeting her latest work, or promoting on Instagram? Would she feel the need to post pictures on Pinterest or develop a business profile for LinkedIn?
Today, we are overloaded between spending time writing and promoting ourselves and our work.
We all spend time networking, attending webinars and conferences, remaining active on social media, subscribing to instructional (and not-to-be-missed) newsletters, and staying current with the latest trends in technology.
I’ve gradually cultivated a new daily ritual, feeling like a robot from the old TV cartoon The Jetsons. I wake up, grab my laptop and cell phone, walk to the kitchen, prepare my Keurig coffee cup, and sit at my desk.
I enter my passwords for Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest. Emails patiently wait for me to read and respond.
While I’m busy on my laptop, my family is buzzing around me, getting ready for their day. I barely have time to look up from the computer to say, “Hello,” “How did you sleep?” and “Have a nice day.”
Like many, I need to balance my professional and personal life better.
A few years ago, I visited The Mount, the Lenox, Massachusetts home of novelist Edith Wharton. The beauty of the grounds, with its formal flower gardens and grass terraces, seemed like an absolute paradise for a writer to write.
The Mount, Home of Edith Wharton, Lenox, Massachusetts
I envisioned Ms. Wharton strolling across the meadow, thinking about the characters and plots she’d develop for “The Age of Innocence” and “The Buccaneers.”
It pleases me to think of that day. Sometimes I daydream about it, visualizing myself living at The Mount. I stroll the grounds as Ms. Wharton did, preparing to write my novel.
Today, Edith Wharton would need a computer.
I love everything about being a writer. I love creating stories and watching the flow of words take on a life of their own on a blank page. I feel a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of pride after finishing every piece.
I love networking and meeting new exciting people who are fast becoming friends. I enjoy being a part of the exciting "wild west" of social media and being a member of blogging communities that are supportive, nurturing, and informative.
Yet I can’t figure out how to perfectly balance my professional needs as a writer, my personal needs as a wife and mother, and my special needs as a person living with a disability.
I remember Dick Cavett interviewing Katharine Hepburn, and when he asked why she never married and had children, she explained, “You cannot have it all.”
Do you think she was right?
We can’t try to learn it all, read it all, do it all, write it all, and live it all while balancing our personal lives and remaining healthy. It’s impossible.
We can prioritize what’s important to us, committing to gaining better control over our lives.
To remain whole and healthy while being productive and creative during our Second Chapter (and into our Third), we must look closer at managing our time and efforts.
Here are a few things I'm doing to help balance my life. They can help you, too, with the inevitable anxieties that come your way.
How do you stay on top of your writing assignments and social media while maintaining a healthy balance in your life? How do you deal with the stress and anxiety in your life?
This resonated with me (as I'm sure it will with lots of us). At times, I feel totally overwhelmed by all there is "to do" that I end up ignoring it all.
But then, I feel stress that I'm ignoring it all! Can't win. I do like your tips for creating balance and need to refer to them each morning when I feel overwhelmed even before I start my day!
I wrote about this just last week as well... I get a little out of control (i.e. sucked in by social media) sometimes.
Like you I keep a schedule and try to plan out the day and week. I use Google calendar for client work. What I need to do a better job of is scheduling time for "me".
As for Jane Austen? My guess is that she'd carve out a significant amount of time for herself.
Interestingly, this is a topic that has come up with many of the moms of my piano students over the past couple of weeks. Overloading the schedule is easy; finding balance is difficult, but without it we become stressed, fatigued and unfulfilled. Too much of anything is never good. Thanks for your tips on how to find and maintain a balanced life!
Great piece, Cathy. I struggle with the very same conflict at least once a day. I have this unquenched desire to read everything and watch everything that's out there...and there is A LOT out there. I know I put way too much pressure on myself, and because of that, I probably don't get nearly as much done as I should. I think because there was so much less out there for Jane Austen to contend with, she most likely had an easier time of managing her time. Lucky lady!
I was first drawn to this post because I love Jane Austen and will read anything to do with her. But then I saw that this has so much to do with my life. I know that I've really let certain aspects of my life go because there isn't time for everything. It is so difficult to balance.
Cathy - my husband and I just spent an entire walk discussing this very topic. So many writers spent months in quiet places, doing nothing but listening for inspiration before they wrote. I don't think this is necessary, but I have realized that if I spent even 30% of the time that I spend on Social Media actually writing, I'd have written about 10 novels this year. Time management has become a true enigma, and your tips were great. Thanks!
Yes, I will raise my hand here, too. I work full-time as a Corporate Communications writer and I try to blog weekly and promote my book, too. There is so much to read, write, learn...so many new people to "meet." It never ends. But I have taught myself recently to meditate first thing in the morning...even if it is 10 minutes of breathing or praying or visualizing good...before I turn on the computer or check emails, etc. And lately, I've given myself permission to skip a week or two between posts if I really don't have anything to say. I know the world will carry on...with or without me. Especially without me if I don't learn to prioritize myself. Great post; beautifully expressed.
I just deleted over one hundred emails this morning. All my Google Alerts, and all the newsletters and other "critical" updates needed for my business. I figured it's more critical that I not go OCD-overboard! Which I'm always in danger of doing. Glad I'm not alone.
So glad this arrived in my email today. Just what I needed to read. I feel like my head is about to explode trying to keep up and meet deadlines. On that note, I am putting the laptop away and going for a walk.
I do not struggle with these issues as I do not use social media and I organize my time in a efficient manner. I do not believe in self promotion as to me its very bad form and people should promote their work by their work only not advertising on social media. I do not think Jane would have been into self promotion, she had to much class.
I am just beginning in blogging (a few months now) and this is exactly the part I am finding overwhelming. I am truly loving all the new connections I am making with people, but it takes a lot of time. These are great suggestions ~ Thanks!!
Jane Austen was a prolific letter writer. I think she'd have embraced social media. I don't think she could have resisted people watching in any form.
Great post. I love Jane Austen and I do think you bring up some valid points about balance. Keep up the thought provoking posts!!!
I don't try to do everything in one day. I maybe get on Twitter a couple times a week, blog once or twice, and try *rolls eyes* to keep with FB. I Pin when the spirit moves me.
Jane would have done it all, of course, in her own witty way. I can easily envision a hashtag war of snark on Twitter between Caroline Bingham and Elizabeth B.
Cathy, your post has resonated with me as well. I really like your idea of a calendar and will give that a try. It is too easy to get lost in social media and neglect that so important down time. Great writing, my friend.
When I saw the title of your post, I thought it was going to be a typical tongue-in-cheek humorous one! I loved your post! I struggle with this all the time and you're right that we can't do it all! I have to let go and feel okay about doing so!
I think Miss Elizabeth Bennett would have embraced social media with gusto as she did everything else. Great tips for visual artists as well! Thank you!
This has resonated deeply. All the other stuff that supposedly goes hand-in-hand with the blogging and writing anymore is the very reason I've debated on quitting the whole blogging game. I just want to write. I like people, I like being social, I like sharing and supporting one another. But, my goodness, has it gotten out of hand. All we do is shout "read me, read me!" it feels like much of the time. This is a perfect post for every one of us feeling like we must promote the heck out of ourselves. It's killing the passion... at least for me. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.
Oh, and in response to your question, I barely keep my head above water most of the time. In fact, just before commenting here, I emailed a PR woman regarding a review I simply cannot get done as promised. My motto going forward is that if it doesn't generate revenue, I'm not doing it (unless I LOVE the cause/product/person). Gah! I'm getting uptight just thinking of all this. I need to run out and get some of the OTC helpers you mentioned!