As I was driving to meet a friend for lunch I turned the radio on to NPR's program "Here and Now" as they were beginning to discuss a new study published by LANCET. Michelle Roberts, the BBC News online Health Editor, was explaining a new happiness study that was linked to age, and that life follows a predictable course depending on where people live.
I quickly thought what perfect timing this was since the broadcast sounded fascinating and could be the subject of my next NaBloPoMo post.
That was until I heard:
"In Western world nations, life satisfaction bottomed out between the ages of 45 and 54 before rising again."
According to this study midlife was between the ages of 45 -54. Whoa! Really? For the next few minutes I didn't hear anything except the sound of my own thoughts racing inside my head.
A few of them were:
The study went on to say that, "This is the period at which wage rates typically peak and is the best time to work and earn the most."
Oh, boy.
So if they are correct about the age range of midlife, then my husband and I already hit our peak of wage rates (yikes!) AND we are now senior citizens (double yikes!)
When I got home I checked a few sources on the Internet to see whether or not I was a senior citizen. I found that the U.S. Census says middle age is anywhere between ages 35 - 54.
Oh, no. It's getting worse.
However, the updated version of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the standard diagnostic manual of The American Psychiatric Association) defines it as 45 - 65.
Phew.
Suddenly I began feeling ashamed of myself. Why? Because my reaction to the definition of midlife did not coincide with what I write, what I believe in or what I preach to others.
In the end, it really doesn't matter what the study, the census, the manual, or the gods-that- be say.
I am 55 years old, and there aren't any statistics that can change the essence of who I am. I am the same person I was before and after I listened to the program. So when I tell someone "You're as young as you feel" I sincerely mean it.
Whether I'm in my middle years or a senior citizen doesn't matter. What matters is what's in my heart, and how I feel about who I am.
That is my own personal happiness study.
I feel the same way. Completely.
Cathy: The definition of older adult is super complex and most people don't flip into that stage by just one trait (like chronological age or formally retiring). That stage of life has multiple markers: family roles, work roles, social roles, physical traits, participation in programs (such as Medicare and SSN), and self-perception. Most people transition slowly from midlife into late life over a decade or so, accruing more and more traits until it's clear that they are in late adulthood. For some people, that might be 60 for others, it might be 75 or even later! And even then, a person in his or her 80s can be socially engaged and contributing (even with age-related physical challenges). Too often, people equate late adulthood with decline/decay when it also can mean serving as a mentor, keeper of stories and memories, someone doing spiritual labor for individuals or groups, and/or a synthesizer of observations gleaned over decades. Even people who stay home a lot in late life are often doing great emotional, intellectual and spiritual work that's enriching and meaningful to themselves and to others. (OK, gerontologist mode off.)
I love your happiness study Cathy! It fits so perfectly. Personally I hate the term midlife - how can we really know when that is and why try to pinpoint that spot? I know that people struggle with how to label "us" but in the end, I think we all need to go back to your personal happiness study and be good! Great piece, beautiful insights!
Hi Cathy! Yes isn't it funny how we can so easily get distracted by what anyone says from a place of authority like the media. I have to watch myself constantly to make sure I don't get sucked into other people's definition of who I am or what is going on in the world. Thank you for reminding me....as you say, "What matters is what’s in my heart, and how I feel about who I am." ~Kathy
It's so funny how we can believe something so silly, isn't it? I'm so glad that it did not, in the end, alter your amazing zeitgeist 🙂
Hi Cathy,
When I was reading your post, I want you to know that I (56 years young), reacted just as strongly to the intimation that I am now a Senior Citizen! I feel, like you, that age is simply a number. In spite of what may challenge us, like MS or other things in life, we can choose to be happy, no matter what the calendar or the experts may say!
Live well, Mary
I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day...she is older than I am and told me bluntly....I do not feel as old as I am. We grew up thinking age was one thing and now that we are here we realize it isn't what we thought.
If I hear one more person tell me growing old isn't for sissies I will scream. Not one stage of my life has been for sissies. Everything I have done in my life has been with purpose and vigor. Now I am supposed to be old and have people feel sorry for me? I don't think so. Ellen Langer has written some amazing things about getting older. I love her. And all of you...if I could remember your names
I would have had the same reaction you did, Cathy! The only thing good about having "senior citizen status" is the movie discount.
Hey, what should I say? i just turned 68 and still look and feel pretty darn good. just stopped working six months ago. We moved to a 55 plus community two years ago and I've had MS for 21 years .
One of the woman here, in her 80's, just returned from climbing mountains in Italy! So chronological age means nothing today!
I'm 24 in my head!
There's age and then there's attitude. Financial planning site have women plan until age 92 considering that women's life expectancy - this means midlife is still into your 60s. I'm 64 and still consider myself in the middle of midlife. Possibly helps to have a life partner who's 58. He definitely keeps me younger. I know people in their early 50s that act way older than me. So I go with attitude defining midlife. Whichever it is- it's been the best time of my life.
I heard this story and I am proud my reaction was very teenagish, WHATEVER!
I am elderly according to a recent local news report. I did blog about it because the reporter said an elderly woman was found dead in a Macy's bathroom. She was 61, same as me! I hope not to live past 90 so in truth I am not middle aged but….
My early decades were pretty horrible and I would NEVER sigh and say, "ah youth!' Bad marriage, bad habits, low self esteem, drug addiction..phew, no thanks!
Now that I am "old" I feel my life and interests finally taking off, and studies be damned..I'll be charging ahead until the good Lord calls me home...even if it's with a cane/walker/wheelchair!!!
Oh boy am I with you! Age is an attitude and state of mind to me. And from where I sit the middle is as wide as you want to make it! My son once said there are studies and stats to support every opinion out there, best just to make your own conclusions with respect to your own life. That from a then 17 year old.
I do hate reading those statistics too. But there are so many exceptions to those numbers. I can feel as negative about aging as anyone some days -- but I really do believe that the only person that holds us back is ourselves.
Oh, I am so with Nancy Hill! The labels really don't mean anything but I do hate to admit that, at 55, we're probably not really middle-aged any more! I think my son was right when he said I was pre-senior!
This age thing comes on so quickly! I didn't really realize what that meant and that I might be middle aged. Hmm...