The air is turning crisp while leaves dangle from their branches. Acorns lie carelessly on the ground waiting for hungry squirrels to gather them in anticipation of winter. Life goes on, as it always does. And the seasons, they go round and round.
I’m finding it hard to focus, to put pen to paper about MS research that was recently announced in Paris at ECTRIMS. So much has happened in my world in 2017 that writing feels like a Herculean effort. I didn’t anticipate this happening to me. Writing has always been my passion. At times it’s been cathartic to watch the empty pages fill up, sometimes helping me arrive at realizations and conclusions I never expected.
When we’re faced with adversity we can never anticipate how we’ll respond. While we want to remain strong we place too much pressure on ourselves to be that person, that dependable someone who lifts others up at a time when they’re faltering. We try to muddle through our own demons when we’d rather be doing anything other than what we are.
In the midst of writing this post I was reminded of the 1948 movie “State of the Union” where the great Katharine Hepburn once again played Spencer Tracy’s wife. Tracy's character is an industrialist who is persuaded to run for president. As he begins to make political and marital compromises Hepburn gives an impassioned speech on how Tracy can’t fool the voters because they can smell compromise a mile away.
Why am I reminded of this particular line?
As much as I want and need to write about the important MS news, and report on other subjects you typically find on this blog I feel that you, the reader, will notice my heart and soul are in need of repair. Honesty and integrity must never be compromised.
That's why I’ve been taking a short break, to take care of myself, to make some repairs. It’s something we all need to do every once in awhile. There's no shame in that. In fact, it's a necessity.
Woe is certainly not me. My dad was my mentor and moved on no matter what curves were thrown his way. I learned from the best. Illness and grief won’t keep me down for long. This is just a breather. I promise.
Remember to take a breather when you need it, too. The changing seasons will always be there to help us move forward.
"And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game." ~Joni Mitchell, The Circle Game
Good for you. So many people are afraid to take breaks when they need it and it does affect their work. Self care is important and I'm glad to see that you are putting it first and not last.
It’s always good to know when to slow down. It’s wise to listen to your body. I know I need to do a better job in this area. Be well!
Lots of love to you. I have been ruminating on a break as well. Just haven't been able to commit yet.
Oh Cathy I shall miss your empowered words, but as someone who battles a chronic condition I know how important this is to take time to yourself. I hope that you will continue to heal and can keep your spirits up in spite of all you face on a daily basis. As we say over here, Bon Courage.
Wonderful that you're giving yourself permission to do what you need. We'll all be there when you return. You're setting an example to the rest of us. The first job is to take care of ourselves. I know there were times I could not write. I don't think people know how much work is involved with blogging and writing. So bravo to you and thanks for setting an excellent example! Feel better and I hope this time heals you.
It is a circle game, isn't it? Round and round we go, and sometimes we have to jump off the carousel to catch our breath. Take as much time as you need, my friend, and know that your readers understand completely. Sending hugs and love to you.
This is a good reminder of the necessity of self care
Take care of you my little Yankee!
Cathy,
You're doing the right thing—rest and restoration are crucial. Easier said than done though. Thank you for ALL the inspiration you've always been. Take care of yourself. And remember, you are not alone—thinking of you!
Best,
Danie
All my love!
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Beautiful - thanks for sharing on CIB fb thread. I have shared a link on PainPals regular feature Monday Magic Inspiring Blogs for You! Great to connect Claire x
Prayers and blessings for rejuvenation and refreshing! I know you will continue to be good to yourself!
I lost my dad sixteen years ago, after his long decline in his late eighties ... but as lost as I felt in those months following his passing, I know now that it was practice for the massive, unexpected loss of my husband at 66 this past Christmas morning. It is nearly a year now, and the pain is as fresh as it was that dark winter week. To give one more hug, to receive one more gentle smile ... close your eyes and imagine opening them to find your love gone with no warning ... if you can. I thought I could handle it all... the circle game.
Cathy, We all need breathers in life, almost like jetties in the ocean. Sometimes that's the pause that brings on the best ideas. Sometimes pauses are time to find much-needed peace. Your writing will always be here. Take what you need.