Author's note: I’ve read many blog posts, posts on Facebook and tweets about BlogHer.  But no one wrote about attending BlogHer with a disability.  As a newbie to this event, I’m sure there will be many attendees with disabilities.  This post is for you as much as it is for me.  For those of you who are blessed not to have a disability, I know you are compassionate and caring enough to want to read this post as well.

When I first heard people discussing something called BlogHer, I wondered what the heck it was.  As I began reading more and more posts about it – the good, the bad and the ugly – I realized the enormity of this prodigious blogging event.

Yet something instinctual, something deep in the pit of my stomach, held me back from registering.

I told friends I wasn’t going because we already had two planned vacations for the summer, and didn’t want to spend extra time away from writing to attend this event.

But I wasn’t being honest, with my friends or myself.

It wasn’t the time away from home that held me back.  It was something bigger than that.

Hi, my name is Cathy Chester and I have a disability.   

Having Multiple Sclerosis since the age of 26 prevented me from doing certain things with my life.  But when life took a turn, I changed course and made different plans.

Who among us lives our life the way we envisioned when we were younger?  My MS is someone else’s fibromyalgia or breast cancer or OCD.

Back to BlogHer.  My worst enemies are stress, heat and fatigue.  My best friends are naps, air-conditioning and calm.  If I don’t meet up with my best friends, the little gremlins come out to make my legs and arms weak and numb, rendering me useless and frustrated.

BlogHer takes place at two hotels, the Sheraton and McCormick.  Since they are a few miles apart, you’ll need a shuttle or taxi to travel to each hotel.  This alone caused me some stress, since I understood the day sessions were taking place at the Sheraton. That would’ve made it easier to slip away to catch a nap upstairs in my room.

Napping now must be a planned event.  More running around means more fatigue.

The enormity of BlogHer is overwhelming for everyone.  Add a disability into that equation, and your emotions easily turn into panic mode.

There are agendas, speakers, parties and networking to learn and make decisions about.  Pre-planning your schedule may tame some of your anxiety and stress.

The question on what to wear always looms large for me.  Business casual can either mean black jeans or a cute dress.  The idea of wearing heels to walk from session to session makes me cringe.

Unfortunately, I had to kick my high heel habit after looking drunk too many times from falling on my keister.  When you can’t feel your feet, you can’t handle heels.

I miss wearing high heels.  You look leaner, and they compliment any outfit.

Here are my own reasons for disliking having to live with a disability:

1. Standing out from the crowd.
2. Complaining about not feeling well.
3.  Excusing myself early from something fun.
4. Not being able to join in on something I know I’d enjoy.
5. Wearing flats and sneakers all of the time.
6. Having to sit when I’m tired while everyone else is standing.
7. Knowing anyone is worrying about me.

I made peace with having a disability a long time ago.  As a writer and health advocate, my professional life is devoted to writing for the disabled community.

But being in Chicago for 3 days with 5,000 other bloggers while trying to learn, network and meet up with friends is something I look forward to, but is creating anxiety for me at the same time.

What’s a girl to do?

Here are a few things I can do for myself (and you can, too) to “de-stress” and prepare for BlogHer:

1. Use the BlogHer app. I read the agenda and the list of sponsors and speakers from the BlogHer website.  Then I created a general (yet flexible) schedule for myself under “My Schedule”.  Having a central location to check my schedule, detailing when the sessions, breaks and parties are, makes me feel more in control and less anxious.  I’ve shared my schedule with friends, and found other people who will be attending.
2. Where are the bathrooms?  This is important for people who tire easily or use scooters, walkers or canes.  On the BlogHer app, check out their “Maps” section, or call the Sheraton or McCormick Place for further information. Find out ahead of time where the bathrooms, elevators, escalators or ramps are located.
3. Prioritize. After looking at all of the sessions, speakers and parties, I’ve prioritized what’s most important to what’s least important.   Attend sessions that are more important for your niche, and skip the ones that are not as relevant.
4. Rest when you can.  This is a biggie.  Listen to your body; you know the signals. If it’s telling you to slow down and take a break, do it!

Use the Serenity Suite to relax and collect yourself whenever you feel the need to unwind.  (Room 1237 at Sheraton and Room W471A at McCormick)

Lori Luna, VP of Event Operations, kindly provided me with further information on attending sessions at The McCormick:

“There are multiple elevators and escalators so walking up and down is VERY limited.  Nine of the session tracks are all together, and the remaining five are one elevator ride away, and again, lined in a row.  Additionally we'll have a Serenity Suite where you can go and rest while at McCormick Place.  

It can sound daunting and when you see it you might feel the same, but once you navigate it, you will note we are stacked on top of all of our activations so you aren't walking football fields.”

1. Ask for help: This one took me a long time to do.  But, as my friend Ellen Dolgen, the Menopause Awareness Expert says, “Reaching out is IN!  Suffering in Silence is OUT!”  There’s no shame in asking for help.  Everyone needs help now and then, whether you have a disability or not.  So if you need something, ask, ask ASK.

Attending BlogHer should be a special time for you to completely dedicate to yourself and hone your craft.  So take time to breathe, relax and enjoy yourself.  You deserve it!  

 Note: This post was originally featured on the Generation Fabulous website on July 22, 2013.

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