An Empowered Spirit Blog Post

When Life Keeps Handing You Lemons: Handling The Difficulties Of Life

By Cathy Chester on February 13, 2014

God helps us handle multiple sclerosis

Lately I've been thinking about this quote from the Bible:

"God only gives us what we can handle." 

While it's often said that this quote appears in the Bible, that is a fallacy. Instead, the actual verse goes like this:

"No temptation has seized you that isn't common for people. But God is faithful. He won't allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it. "~Corinthians 10:13

SPOILER: Don't worry.  I'm not going to start preaching about religion, the existence of G-d or espouse my personal beliefs.

Life throws us curve balls

It's inevitable that life will throw us curves as we age.  If we're lucky, we live a life filled with many blessings, and the darkness of illness, financial hardships or despair rarely comes our way.

But unfortunately that is not always the case.  While it seems as if some people sail through life unscathed by darkness, others seem to have darkness dumped on them. When that happens, it feels as if a pitching machine is throwing curve balls at you while you stand still, too paralyzed to move.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful." ~Buddha  

Life has been throwing me many curve balls lately, and although I try to stay strong and positive, there are times when I just give up.

I give in to sadness, and begin to feel sorry for myself. I'm only human.

I see friends traveling around the country and wish I could join them. I see healthy, vibrant people not being weighed down by the worry of illness.  I'm jealous of anyone living in a warm climate and not having to deal with this unnerving winter weather. (How many more days until spring???)

Snow Difficulties with MS

Feeling this way  won't change anything, and it's a destructive and useless way to be. But what can I do to change it?

How I focus on the positive while living (and aging) with MS

As we age, it's important for us to learn how to focus on getting through the difficulties of life as best as we can. There are a myriad of ways to do this.  Here are some I'm going to try.  How about you?

  1. Do what you love.  Playing a sport, spending more time with your children, joining a gym, writing or knitting, or picking up a hobby you've put aside are some ideas.  Refocusing your attention can revitalize and refresh your mind, body and spirit.
  2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is invaluable.  "Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events.  The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change." ~National Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists  
  3. Acknowledge your blessings : Acknowledging the blessings in your life - family, friends, accomplishments at work - is a powerful tool.  Focus on them. Then let the people in your life know how much they mean to you.  You'll be surprised at how good that will make you feel.
  4. Take time for yourself - Take a bubble bath and light some candles for a relaxing getaway from the world.  Get a hot stone massage.  Take a walk in the park to surround yourself with the beauty in nature.  Watch an old movie that makes you laugh.  Do something that feels good and rejuvenates you.  You deserve it.
  5. Set daily goals for yourself - Use the ease of a program like Google Calendar to schedule daily personal tasks that make you happy. These personal goals will help you feel good, and are important for your well-being.
  6. Don't allow any disasters to pull you down -  Remind yourself of your successes, and remember the people who love you unconditionally and support you. Life is filled with ups and downs. What's important is how you handle them.

Stress Awareness Difficulties quote from Gerard Way

The miracle of everyday blessings

My fabulous cousin Gabrielle always knows the right thing to say. She empowers me with her wit and wisdom, especially when she says that when we're tested in life, it only means something awesome is waiting to happen.

I think Gabrielle's advice aligns itself with the quote from the Bible that's been on my mind. I finally understand that the strength we need to endure lies within ourselves. We must believe in the miracle of every day blessings, and the knowledge that we have the power to change how we think and feel.

How do you stay positive when life gets you down? 

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Author

Cathy Chester

Comments

  1. Practicing #3 right now -- my life is better, richer, and so much more interesting with you in it Cathy. You lift me up even when you have no idea that our paths crossed that day. Thank you -- I am grateful for your friendship!

  2. Like you I believe in the ability to shape our experiences by the way we think and feel. I try to acknowledge the feeling and just sit with it. The last 10 months have brought too many challenges but I find the strength to move from one day to the next day through determination. Massages are one of my great joys as is reading...I can always lose myself in a good book.

  3. Cathy,
    I felt particularly sad when I read your sentence about wishing you could travel, it was so honest and must be very tough. You're such a shining light of positive energy and what you share with your readers is so very important. Thinking of you on this wintry, snowy day. Sending hugs your way. xoxo

  4. You have been dealng with so much, Cathy, and it's amazing that you still are able to see the sun through every storm. Please know that those of us who love you are holding you in our thoughts and prayers.

  5. As dori says in "Finding Nemo", just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....Trying to stay positive is so important. They all sound like they are on the right path. I'm currently in Advanced Yoga...reminding myself to live in the moment as much as I can. I can totally relate to the pitching machine throwing me curve balls!

  6. I believe your feelings are shared my most of us living through this insane weather. I also believe I used to be so overcome with sadness because I spent the whole fall and winter counting days until spring. I'm no longer doing that,I am counting back. How many days I've gone through, survived and laughed and smiled. Yes, one day at a time and adding to my DONE and still good count has worked for me. I am really good this year and SAD has not taken me down.
    Positive thinking is my mantra. I live it. It works.

  7. God does help me handle what I'm dealing with whether it's giving me words of comfort during required times of grieving, providing a distraction, or helping me recognize things to be grateful for (and there's always something to be grateful for). Good read, Cathy. Thanks.

  8. Cathy,
    I hate that you have been dealing with so much and an uncooperative winter on top of it all. I say enough suffering for you--here is to a new day and new ways to share your Empowered Spirit with the world!
    Love,
    Estelle

  9. Cathy.... Love, love, love this message. It really reminded me that we all have our hard moments, but yes, there is always a bit of sunshine waiting to greet us. I know it's hard in the moment but keeping the hope, faith and belief that you will get thru is sometimes hard to grasp!

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The mission of this blog is to encourage those with MS, to educate the world on what MS is and isn’t, and to help those with MS live a joyful and empowered life.
This blog and the information contained here is not meant to be, and is not a substitute for, medical advice. If you are wondering if you have MS, or have questions related to the signs and symptoms of MS, please contact your physician.
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