I've gone back and forth whether to write this post or not, wondering if it was too cruel to put myself through the act of writing about the difficult day waiting for my family. This has been the shittiest summer, starting off with a serious health scare for us, the loss of my father-in-law and now this. If G-d is testing us, well, I think I've had more than enough.
As I sit in our library, surrounded by the books I love, I can hear the labored breathing of our beloved, adorable, sweet cat Max trying to sleep in our leather desk chair next to me.
Today will be our last one together.
Fourteen years ago when our son, Jordan, talked us into adopting our first cat I had no idea how it'd change my life. I grew up without pets. But our nine year old was smart and adamant about adopting a ginger, that beautiful colored animal my Aunt Ilsa once told me brought a family good luck. She was right. So was Jordan.
Good luck, unconditional love and countless blessings have filled our hearts by having him. It's an unexplainable feeling that only pet owners can understand.
It didn't take me long to fall in love with Max. As a freelance writer working from home we spend a lot of time together. He guards me when I'm sick, sits on my lap purring as I watch TV or read, sleeps on top of my legs and follows me around the house. He runs to me when I come home and learned early on how to open any closed doors that kept us apart.
We love him so dearly, admittedly more than our other two cats because he's unique. He's like a person. He wants to be a close member of the family. Wherever we're home he has to be near one of us.
Today I have to give the ultimate gift of letting him go and I don't quite know how to process that. Not having him with us leaves an empty space in our broken hearts. For the second time this summer we're learning firsthand that love means letting go when the cost of pain and suffering is too high. Our sacrifice is unselfish but the most difficult to do.
And so it goes with life. We experience great joys that are impermanent. Great changes that are unbearable. And broken hearts that won't ever fully mend.
I have no words of comfort for my son, husband or myself. This weekend was our long goodbye as we huddled in silence caressing our sweet boy. Our vacation plans are cancelled. We are worn and filled with grief from the losses we have suffered this summer.
Only time can comfort us now.
My heart is heavy for you and your family, Cathy. Yes, you have had to endure way too much. Way too many losses for you. It is just devastating to have to say goodbye to our beloved pets, just the worst. My thoughts are with you today, an excruciatingly hard day for you. xoxo
sending love.
I get this all all all too well.
Oh, Cathy, I am so sorry. I'm sending you so much love and am in tears for you. xoxo
i am so very sorry, Cathy. Pet owners have a special thing that non pet owners just can not understand. These cats worm their ways into our hearts and when the time comes for them to leave us it leaves a mammoth hole. Thinking of you and your sweet family during this most difficult day. RIP sweet Max.
So sorry. I know how hard it is to make this decision. Over time all those special moments will remain. I hope they can be of some comfort.
Oh Cathy. Words fail. Wishing you all peace and courage.
So sorry, Cathy. I know this is hard...will pray for your family.
Holding you and your family in my heart, Cathy.
My heart is with you and I share in your tears in releasing him from his pain and missing him forever.
I'm so sorry Cathy. Our pets really do become a member of the family. I dread the day when I have to let either Tucker (our dog) or Maverick (cat) go. Thinking of you all. xo
Thank you for writing this. Thank you for sharing the pictures, I have tears in my eyes. Oh Cathy, I am so sorry. I am holding you close in my heart today. I am lighting a candle in honor of Max today. Much love to you and your house.
I love you Cathy Chester! Your heart is as big as the world. You are in my heart today and always. What joy Max brought to so many! <3
Cathy, so sorry about your beautiful Max. Sending healing hugs to you and your family.
I have a heavy heart for you and your family, Cathy. Sending hugs.
Aw I am so sorry, Cathy. I pray that writing about it helped process things -- I know it is so hard on top of so much other sadness. Big hugs and support to you.
Thinking of you and your family today. I believe our beloved fur babies will be there waiting when we cross the veil. Bright-eyed and excited to see us. It comforts me during the dark times of separation!
I am feeling your sadness. Our pets are such an important part of our lives. Our older dog most likely has cancer and we are preparing ourselves for what is to come. Sending you lots of good thoughts.
Dear Kathy,
Yes, it's true, only people who have had a cat, dog, birds etc know the heart break and the heart ache of such a loss.
We have lots many.
Try to think of it this way, Max loved you and was a loyal companion. Max would not want you to mourn so heavily. He would have wanted you to share your love with the other cats, and he would want you to go on that vacation and celebrate his life and yours.
We are all here for a short time, some shorter than others. Go on that vacation , reflect on the positive and consider Max as having been a great gift to you and your family.
Sending healing thoughts xo Joan
Oh Cathy, I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. Very special pets, who love us unconditionally, are such a light in our world. I hope you can set up a shrine to Max, so his light can continue to shine for you.
Having had this experience many times over the years I truly feel your pain, Cathy. It is so hard to say goodbye to the sweet furkids who own our hearts. Their unconditional love is such an amazing gift and what makes it so much harder to say goodbye. Hold each other close as you all need healing time.
Sending lots of hugs to you and yours.
b
Sending you lots of love. So very, very sorry for this loss of your family member. XOXO
When we got our first dog, I was very ill and I wanted something that would help us all feel normal and give us joy. That was more than 25 years ago and many animals later and saying goodbye has never gotten easier. It's a special gift to have a loved animal. We talk about each one and laugh as we remember and feel sad over the loss no matter how long ago. I feel your pain.
We lost our dear boy, Windston, in April - right after the loss of my Father-in-Law in February. It is heartbreaking and the hurt one feels after such a loss is a wake up call within myself that we are not immortal.
The Spirit strengthens through time and we are left to embrace the love that our pets left in our hearts. You had shared your life with a pet learning the essence of their bond to a human being.
Someone sent me a quote from a 6 year old child about a dog but cats apply to this statement as well, in my opinion:
"people are born so that they can learn how to live a good live. Like, loving everybody all the time, and being nice. Well, dogs" ( and cats) "already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
Sending you healing thoughts and prayers, Cathy, as you recover from your loss.
Nameste,
Judith
Waaahaa. I do understand as a cat and dog "owner." I am so glad you had the many years with Max, though am sorry for what the day holds.
Cathy, your tribute to the love and the pain and the gift your cat brought to your family and to you is so eloquent. Many tears shed all over for him today. He will be with you forever. Ours are......
I'm so sorry that you must endure another great loss. There are no words of consolation.
Sending you all my love.
There is something so freeing about writing about the grief we feel. You have been through the ringer, yet your words are beautiful and truly eloquent. Feeling so sad for you know now in the loss of your dear kitty. I still shed a tear over my long-departed dear Oreo who died in 2011. We know that our furbabies spent many good years with us and we shall never forget them.
I am so sorry. Hugs and healing to you and all those who loved your purr-baby.
I am sorry, Cathy. We have owned several cats, but only one, our Russian Blue ditch cat we named Boo Radley, was like a person. During the worst time in my life Boo was in my arms, sleeping with me, lying on me, following me, and comforting me. He was our plush toy. At 9 years old he got a blood clot. so unfair. We give our hearts to our pets and we know they will be broken. But you'll always remember Max. Once in a while that one animal comes along, the one you love so much, who means the most to you. I think about Boo often, and I will miss him forever. Love to you, Cathy.
If shared tears help, then I am doing all I can for you. I am so sorry..I understand completely, and I hate this for you. I wish I was closer I would bring flowers, or a roast...I don't know....something. My love to you.
Cathy, you certainly have had a ROUGH summer! The circle of life certainly knocked on your household's door. The only thing I can say is, "allow yourself time to cry, be sad,and reflect." I don't believe time heals, it will just ease the sadness somewhat. I grew up with two older brothers. I think all different animal lives past through our household. After I got married and had children, I thought it only fair to have the experience of being a pet owner. They are now grown. I don't want to ever go through that loss again! With my utmost compassion!
So sorry that you are losing your baby. As we grow older, our pets do too, so I'm going through this with my beloved dog and I know so many friends who have lost pets recently. I hope the final goodbye goes peacefully for you all.
Oh Cathy, I am so sorry! I hadn't realized that you had lost your Father-in-law and now this. Sending you lots of healing thoughts and love. Hugs!
Dearest Cathy,
I know what you are dealing with and can only share that time will help you to work through your grief. Losing any pet is difficult, but there are those special souls that leave a greater gap in our lives when they pass. Be strong and know that I'm thinking of you and wish you and your family peace.
Dana
Oh my heart! I'm so sorry to hear this, Cathy. Thinking of you and your whole family. Big, big hug.
I am so sorry for you and your family. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could give you a big hug.
As hard as this was for you to write I hope it gave you some comfort to get it out there and to hear from so many loving friends to offer their love and support. We all love you so very much. And those of us who have had pets know how deep this sorrow runs. And on top of that to add the loss of your beloved father-in-law just compounds your grief. My heart is so sad for you and your family. Just wishing you grace and peace.
Why must it be that so often the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do. My heart goes out to you all with the encouragement that you have had many years with this wonderful being and you will always have memories of your time spent together. I dread the day that my own Elder pet must travel the same path. So I cherish every moment as you have and then we must let go. Peace be with you all.
Cathy I just got a chance to read this. The only thing that comes to mind is what I know you already understand -- that the kind of grief you feel is born from love like no other. You can't have one without the other. My heart and thoughts are with you and the family your beloved Max adored so much.
I'm so sorry for all the pain you've had to endure. This year has been bad for so many people for so many reasons. If this is a test, I hope we all get rewarded with a balance of joy next year.
Cathy, just saw this. Soo sorry, I know this is hard, and is not how you want to end your summer. I know you know that you gave Max the ultimate gift. The most unselfish thing you could have done for him even though it was incredibly difficult. May his memory be comforting to you, so many years of unconditional love.
The worst part about having FB friends around the country is that we can't hug them. Wish I could magically appear and offer you some comfort or maybe a smile, but I can't. So, please know I'm thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry this summer has been so difficult. If you ever want to talk: (208) 890-8122.
Cathy, Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is so hard. We don't realize how much they impact our lives till they're gone. They're with us everyday, through good times and bad. I'm so sorry for your loss. Beautiful post.
Time does not heal, it just makes the sharp edges smoother. So as you know, I know, the loss and love of an unconditional heart that beats in a fur coat. Max is laying in god's sunny spot today. I'm so sorry, my Cat.
Positive thoughts to you and your family, Cathy.
Oh it's so horrible to lose them. This has always been my solace...
https://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
Prayers that time once again heals.
Dear Cathy, My heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through this summer. Losing a pet is very difficult. We've been adopted by a cat and like you mention, it doesn't take long for them to work their way into your heart.