I never liked change. My first taste of it was when I was five years old and my grandmother passed away. I was at a birthday party and my mother showed up early to bring me home. She wanted the family to be together. I was confused about what was happening, and sad that I'd never see my grandmother again. I hate to admit it but I wanted to stay and finish my piece of birthday cake.
Growing up I suffered through all the typical life changes. Every time they happened I felt an odd sensation tugging at my heart. I longed for things to stay the same. But of course as we mature we realize change is inevitable. It's a part of life and we have to lean into it.
And let go.
"It's the Circle of Life and it moves us all through despair and hope. Through faith and love. Till we find our place on the path unwinding In the Circle. The Circle of LIfe." ~The Circle of Life, The Lion King, music and lyrics by Elton John and Tim Rice
I have a pile of work waiting for me on my desk. My heart simply isn't ready to tackle it. It'll have to wait. Change happened again this week and I can't wrap my mind and heart around it.
Whenever we lose someone we love it's never easy to process. We don't want to let go and say a final goodbye. We don't want to take that next step of being a part of a world that's no longer brightened by their presence.
But by not doing so we dim the very presence they indelibly left on our hearts.
We lost my beloved father-in-law this week and I know if he was here he'd tell me that life is delicious, people are fascinating and to always cherish family and friends. He wouldn't want me to mourn him but to celebrate his life. That's his legacy, to live life to the fullest. That's what he did, and that's what I choose to do.
I choose to celebrate his life.
To the man who lived and breathed jazz and jazz musicians, loved the warmth and beauty of The Sunshine State and qvelled equally over honeybell oranges and Costco hotdogs I kiss you with my words.
And I want to thank you, Dad. For loving me from the first day we met. Thanks for my husband who is so much like you, and for the loving bond you two always shared. Thanks for the love and close friendship you shared with Jordan. And for the love affair you had with Mom for 64 remarkable years. From your days together at Ohio State to today, your love was, and always will be, here to stay.
I love you, Dad. You will live in my heart forever. I will turn on Coleman Hawkins' rendition of "Body and Soul" in your honor today.
How fortunate you are to have had such a wonderful relationship with your father in law. May his life be a blessing to all who knew and loved him.
My condolences to you and yours,
What a touching tribute to your father-in-law. A big hug to you, Cathy.
My eyes are filled with tears at your loving tribute to your father-in-law. I hope the wonderful memories will sustain you during this difficult time of learning to live without him. My sympathy and love to you, Gary and Jordan and the rest of the family. May his memory be a blessing.
It's so hard to lose people we love, but what I've learned is that they are always in your heart, and will come to visit at the most surprising moments. Take your time mourning and get back to real life only when you're ready. My condolences.
Beautiful tribute to your dear father-in-law. May his memory be a blessing and may your family find comfort.
With time, may you adapt to changes and continue to move forward. I see you as someone who is a role model of inner growth through change.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Cathy. I understand the pain. My father-in-law passed a few months ago, which was difficult, but my mother-in-law passed at 68 years old. That was a really tough one, but now they are together. Sending love and hugs to you and yours.
b
I, too loved and lost both my in laws. Their loving legacy lives on in their son, my hubs. I'm glad you have a life surrounded by people who love you
Hi Cathy! Saying goodbye to anyone who is special is always hard. Your father-in-law sounds like he was a very, very special man who will undoubtedly be missed by you and everyone who knew him. It is NEVER easy when someone has been such a big part of your life. The good news is that you have lots of wonderful memories and as time goes by the loss will fade and you will be left with those memories. Until then, be gentle with yourself. ~Kathy
So sorry for your loss.
What a lovely tribute to your father-in-law, Cathy! I was really moved by your words, I think especially because they reminded me of my Dad, who also attended Ohio State. I hope that you and your family can take comfort in knowing- I'm sure - how much he loved you. Sending you lots of love and hugs!
What a beautiful love story. Be gentle with yourself and take all the time in the world to grieve and mourn this remarkable man. Loss hurts and I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you some gentle moments this week. Much love to you and your family.
What a beautiful relationship you had with such a wonderful man. I was lucky to have this with my father-in-law too. My heart goes out to you and your family.
He would be so proud of you. What a very, very nice piece. I know exactly how you feel. There will be lots of small milestones along the way. Just as you kissed him with your words (I love that), he will touch you many, many times a day.
I am so sorry Cathy! Loss is never easy. What a gift that you had such a special relationship with him. Hugs to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for the physical loss of your father-in-law that is hurting your family right now, Cathy. But how lucky it sounds like you all were for having him in your lives. He sounds like a great guy. {{hugs}}
I'm so sorry, Cathy. You've written a beautiful tribute to a remarkable man. Sending you love and sympathy. <3
That was a lovely testimonial to a lovely man. Change is hard but our loved one live on in our hearts! My heart is with you.
What a loving tribute. Your words brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for the reminder to cherish, honor, and celebrate the loved ones who have passed. I also loved the line about "kissing you with my words."
How fortunate you were for knowing him, and how fortunate he was to have you in his life. I can tell just by the tribute you wrote, as you kissed him with your words. He will live in your heart for always. May those memories be a blessing.
What a wonderful way to remember your father-in-law. It is so hard to let go of the physical person, but when it happens the gifts of love and memory are those that will stay with you and lift you up. My thought today, you loved him and were fortunate to have him--he was fortunate to have you. Beth
So glad that you had a long and amazing relationship with this wonderful man. It reminds me a lot of my own father-in-law, who I also called Dad from the get-go. He also produced an amazing husband for me, so I feel that his beautiful spirit lives on in him. (Love that he's a Buckeye, too.) Hugs to you and the family - I know what a difficult time this is.
" ...He wouldn’t want me to mourn him but to celebrate his life. That’s his legacy ..."
Thank you for the tribute, Cathy.
And that is what we'll do -- celebrate their lives.
It's never easy.
Mourning we do, cherishing their gifts of love to us ...
Thinking of you, Cathy!
What a lovely tribute. Your FIL sounds like a very special man. Enjoy the memories and let his life lessons continue to impact you. Thinking of you and your family. <3
Dear Cathy and Gary....our hearts reach out to touch yours. Did not know of your loss until I just read your beautiful tribute to a man who certainly touched many lives. A love like his for his family and a joy of living he obviously had is a legacy to treasure. Our love and prayers, Carolyn and Joe
So sorry for your loss. Your post was a beautiful tribute. As you say, change is hard. Remember the good times.
What a sweet tribute to someone who appears to be a beautiful loving soul. I'm sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful tribute, Cathy. Your father-in-law sounded like a sweet, wonderful man. Weren't you lucky to have him... and wasn't he lucky to have you?
My sincere and warmest condolences to you and your family. The thought of the time when I will have to deal with the loss of someone dear,frightens me overwhelmingly. Be brave!
So sorry - I did see this on FB but didn't realise you had written this and I am a bit late. It must still be very raw but what a beautiful tribute you have written to your father-in-law. Your MIL and husband must be finding it very hard to come to terms with, even if it was expected.
You did make me smile about the birthday cake at the start though! That is the innocence and simplicity of childhood I guess.