"Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering 'it will be happier'..." ~Alfred Tennyson

New Year's Day 2013. I know how we are supposed to feel (renewed), how we are brought up to feel (joyful), and how I honestly feel (ambivalent).

The conversations we remember our parents having, and swore we'd never have, are the same ones we now cannot stop ourselves from having. I find myself shouting, "Did I say that, or was that my mother? "(My head spinning around like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist") Astonishing how brilliant our parents have become as we get older.

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib." ~Woody Allen

Is it only me, or do you also feel time is beginning to move more quickly? Life lessons are being thrown at me like a pitching machine throwing curveballs at 100 mph. The joys of being in our Second Chapter are joined by the inevitability of sadness and loss at a faster pace. Lately, I find myself feeling more sad than my usual perky self.

"Reality continues to ruin my life." ~Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin, and Hobbes

My entire family got hit with a stomach bug the day after Christmas (our "Herbmas"), and we made a toast with a toast to the New Year. Something about being in your pajamas early on New Year's Eve, watching an old movie while eating some Jell-O, and sipping hot water is so utterly unforgettable.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." ~Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Yet, despite a year of loss, grief, and sadness, I somehow found the ability to think outside of myself on this night.   I looked down at the three of us from above and saw three people – three loving family members – who, despite illness, were sharing the great privilege of celebrating another New Year's Eve together. Life didn't get in the way; it merely strengthened it.

"Where there is love, there is life." ~Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

That epiphany helped to raise my spirits; it was my New Year's gift to myself. Clichés such as "Celebrate what you have," "Live in the moment," and" Embrace those around you" are said again and again for a reason: they're true. Our Second Chapter can be a scary one, filled with unavoidable unknowns. I think about them more often than I used to, but I'll do whatever it takes to remain focused on my personal and professional goals. As Cat Stevens sang, "..and I'm on the road to find out."

Our next journey starts today. Where is your road leading you?

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