"Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause, you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles." ~ Author Unknown
Menopause (or the "change of life" ((ugh))) = being irritable, annoyed, bitchy, sad, quarrelsome, snappy, gloomy, sour, bad-tempered, harsh, reclusive, sarcastic, distressed, scared, depressed, or agitated. If I missed a word that best describes your perimenopause/menopause experience, please let me know, and I'll add it!
For those of you who breezed through menopause without any symptoms, my heartiest congratulations. You have escaped something akin to an alien invading your body to take control of you.
You have been blessed by missing out on the excitement of experiencing sudden hot flashes that turn you into a raving lunatic because you need to quickly peel off your soaking-wet clothes.
You are lucky because you never had to listen to your voice shouting angry or nonsensical words toward an innocent bystander, words you would ordinarily never say.
It feels like an out-of-body experience.
Let's back up to the first "change" a girl's body goes through. When I was in the sixth grade, my parents signed a permission slip for me to see a "special film" at school - for girls only.
The film was shown in one classroom filled with 30 curious 12-year-old girls.
Sitting at our desks, we anxiously waited for the teacher to turn off the lights. When the film began, the title read, "It's Wonderful Being a Girl" (Johnson & Johnson, 1968).
The film talked about how our bodies were changing, preparing us for womanhood, and how this wonderful thing called "menstruation" (The Curse!) would be happening to us any day.
The town in the movie was right out of Mayberry, and the females reminded me of "The Stepford Wives" – where beautiful, perfectly coiffed young girls and their mothers lived in a wealthy suburban community.
So, was it wonderful being a girl? On most days, I would have said "yes." However, regarding the hormonal fluctuations I experienced during my "time of the month," I would have wholeheartedly disagreed. Cramps, bloating, irritability.
All tolerable symptoms, except during bathing suit season when it was a royal pain!
The women of my parent's generation were not communicative about sex or the human anatomy. It's not their fault: that is how they were taught, and they grew up believing that's how things should be. (The first time I got my period was before I saw the "It's Wonderful Being a Girl" film. I was always an early bloomer. I didn't know what was happening and felt scared to death!)
These days, young girls are aware of menstruation and the "facts of life" at an early age. I think parents must have an open dialogue with their young daughters; this will give young girls a clear understanding of their physiological selves and a strong awareness of who they are and what they should expect from their bodies as they grow older.
"You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation." ~Brigham Young
Now let's fast-forward to life in 2012 – it is my "Age of Menopause." I once watched a program on PBS featuring Dr. Christiane Northrup, an authority on women's health and wellness and someone I admire for her unique look at women's health issues.
Dr. Northrup spoke about how women need to make peace with their menopausal symptoms, pointing out that this is a natural occurrence in our bodies. It's a natural part of the aging process, something we should embrace instead of fighting against.
Hormonal changes, an inability to achieve the proper amount of sleep, depression, dry skin, loss of sex drive, hormone replacement, fluctuations in weight, sadness, and forgetfulness; are some of the myriad issues associated with menopause.
When I first heard Dr. Northrup say I should make peace with menopause, I thought she was crazy. Make peace with feeling like some extraterrestrial creature? How do I begin to do that?
I always believed that we are given a special gift each day we wake up, and we should cherish that gift and hold it dear. Carpe Diem, I always say. But when you feel lousy and out of control, how can you seize the day?
The more I listen to or read one of Dr. Northrup's books (I recommend her book, The Wisdom of Menopause), the better I feel.
I have also listened to some clips of her as a guest on The Rachel Ray Show. She spoke about the positive side of menopause – yes, there is one!
Examples are women having better sex and taking better care of their bodies, thus feeling more fit and energetic. They also have better self-esteem and confidence at this point in their life. This all comes from a better awareness of their changing bodies, enabling them to live "out loud."
(Okay, so I borrowed that phrase from the title of one of Anna Quindlen's books!)
Dr. Northrup has shown me the positive side of going through menopause and explained some things I can do to help me through the darker days of this change in life.
We are all works in progress.
I value talking to my closest friends about what they are experiencing; we swap stories and information on what we've learned and how we feel about our bodies changing.
Communicating with people you trust is so important during menopause.
I also choose to research safe, natural supplements to help me get through my days of irritability, sadness, and the disappointing reapportioning of body weight.
I like reading Dr. Andrew Weil's suggestions on natural supplements and often follow his advice. (You can also read what he says about Menopause and Weight Gain.)
When I thought I needed to consider hormone replacement (I did not need it) and wanted to investigate bioidentical hormones, I read an exciting book by Suzanne Somers called "Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidentical Hormones."
If you are considering hormone replacement, I thought this was a good read and recommend reading it. (Don't hesitate to contact your doctor and talk to them about hormone replacement and any issues you may be experiencing.)
So, here we are on another one of life's journeys, taking another step forward down our long road.
As Anna Quindlen said, "The older we get, the better we get at being ourselves. We're not busy being born but busy being born again." (More Magazine, May 2012, Page 156)
Once again, Ms. Quindlen is right (she's proven to me over the years that she always is).
In this chapter of our life, we are being born again not only inside of our bodies, but in our souls, in our spirits, and most importantly, our hearts.
We are ALL beautiful works in progress.
cat,
As a woman of a certain age, I can tell you that life on the other side of menopause is lovely. If we all do the things we are supposed to be doing{eat well,exercise,sleep, be at peace} this side is worth all of the hot flashes and changes we have gone thru. Now I'm thinking about that sports car!