When writing for a blog hop whose theme was “I’m My Father’s Daughter Because..” I wondered whether my post should be serious or funny. I didn’t want it to sound too sappy, and I certainly didn’t want it to sound melodramatic.
Me and Dad - 1989
The only sure thing was that writing about my dad would be the hardest post I’ve ever written.
Time and time again, after thinking about my father - man, son, husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, employer, attorney, and friend – a simple yet concise sentence kept popping into my mind: My father is a gentleman and a gentle man.
Let me try to explain.
After my son was born, I realized what most good parents do: The importance of teaching your child the difference between right and wrong and providing them with a blueprint that will sustain them when life presents its inevitable challenges.
The Master Gardener 1990
My dad provided me with my blueprint from the day I was born. He taught me the importance of higher education, how traveling would enrich my understanding of the world, that planting flowers and trees adds beauty and richness to our lives, and how fine wine and gourmet food are both pleasing to the palate and fascinating to learn about.
Peonies by Dad at our house
One typical morning ritual that began in grade school said everything about his feelings on education. I would interrupt his morning shave by saying:
Me: Dad, I have to leave for school now. Have a nice day.
Dad: Wait. What's the password of the day?
Me: Be smart!
I was then allowed to leave the house.
As an immigrant from Germany escaping the atrocities of the Nazi Regime, he knew education was the key to unlocking the gate of opportunity. He saw it as a means to making a better life for himself and eventually for his children.
I wish I’d seen the look on Oma and Opa’s faces when he received his law degree. It must have been the same proud look he had after watching me graduate.
His curiosity knows no bounds with his unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
I admit my Dad's vast wealth of knowledge was a bit daunting to me at times. I mean, who could possibly keep up with all of his interests? He easily quotes Shakespeare, recites Robert Burns, discusses the Brooklyn Dodgers, describes the grace and beauty of watching Heather Watts and Darci Kistler, and can suggest the perfect bottle of wine for any occasion.
The first time I remember benefitting from the knowledge I gleaned from Dad was during one of my college courses, “Introductory to Opera.” The years of listening to WQXR with him paid off in spades. My professor began his lecture by playing a record, then asking us the song's name. I shot my hand up and blurted out, “Mozart’s Queen of the Night.”
I called my Dad that night. He was so proud.
Good food and wine - Joucas, France 1995
The second time I benefitted from his knowledge was at my college graduation party. Dad founded a Wine Society in 1970. His knowledge and the society’s membership have both grown exponentially. Over the years, my family has benefited from some truly exceptional wines. (I was fortunate to accompany him and Mom on two magical private winery tours in Napa Valley and The Loire Valley.)
Dad brought a case of non-vintage Pol Roger champagne to Boston to help us celebrate in style. I can still taste the perfectly balanced flavors trickling down my throat.
Dad whispered, "Have a good life." November 1988
I’m my father’s daughter because I appreciate the beauty surrounding me and challenge myself to learn all I can about my world. I’m as obstreperous as he is, and I haven’t quite mastered the art of personal finance (much to my hubby’s dismay.) We are both romantics at heart, sometimes being too gentle for this world. But we’re working on that.
Dad and Mom in Cape Code 1952
Before I end this post, I want to add this: Whenever I watch one of my favorite movies, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and Atticus Finch first strolls onto the screen, I begin to cry. Why? It’s not because of the words of Harper Lee or the portrayal by Gregory Peck (which are both perfect). It’s because Atticus looks like my father did when that movie was first released. Tall, lean, with dark hair and black glasses.
And they are both gentlemanly lawyers.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. With love and thanks for my good life.
Dad & Me on his birthday. The day we call "Herbmas": 12/25/12
This was truly a beautiful tribute to your father, Cathy. He sounds like a remarkable man. Definitely like father, like daughter.
This is so beautiful! Tears and gratitude for a dad like yours to be in this world. That was a wow article.
I can see where you get your positive demeanor and warm character. What a wonderful guy your father is! I can only imagine how hard it was to find a guy to marry who could come close to his appeal 🙂
What joie de vivre your father possesses. My dad is entirely practical, which has it's benefits. How great to read about his incredible zest for life. Happy Father's Day to your dad.
That's so sweet, Cathy! Your dad sounds like a real mensch.
Cathy, what a lovely and amazing person your dad is. I am so happy to have learned more about him through this post. I see many of his wonderful qualities in you which is really what parenting is all about, isn't it? Thanks for sharing your dad and his story with us.
Cathy, what a beautiful tribute to your Dad. You stated the you wanted to get across that he was a gentleman. It is obvious from your writing that you inherited that gentle trait, because you are indeed a gentlewoman. I hope we meet at BlogHer and in the meantime, give your dad a hug from me. We were both fortunate to be raised by wonderful men.
My eyes welled up with tears reading this beautiful post, Cathy. What a wonderful guy your dad is, and what a blessing for both of you to share so much love. I adore the password of the day -- that's just fabulous. And truly in your case, the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Cathy, this was very moving. The words, the photos...they all say so much beyond the sentences and images. If that makes sense. I feel like crying. How lucky are you to have been blessed with such a wonderful dad! (And mom, too, no doubt.) I know dads are there to teach us, guide us, support us...tell your dad he did a wonderful job! Let us know his reaction when he reads this. Oh, and one more thing...I totally get the line about sometimes being too gentle for this world. I think about that sometimes. That's why it's so important, especially at midlife, to surround ourselves with people who speak the same soul language. Beautiful post.
Cathy, how heartfelt and beautiful. I can so relate to having such a close relationship with my own dad. He lived until almost 91 and taught me so many important lessons, including how to chose to die with dignity. You have so much to be grateful for with a wonderful father like this in your life!
A smart man with an absolutely fabulous and warm smile - surely a reflection of who he is on the inside, as you describe.
I now know why you are the lovely person you are, Cathy. Wonderful post.
Herbmas? And "be smart" for your code word? I love your Dad already! And I love and am drawn to gentle souls - loved, loved, loved this post Cathy. Thanks for sharing such sweet memories.
Oh, my! He *did* look like Atticus. This is beautiful, Cathy. A kind and gentle tribute to, clearly, a true gentleman. You are a lucky woman to have had such a father, such a blueprint for life.
Cathy --- he will be as proud of what you have written today as he is, I am certain, proud of who you have become and all that you have accomplished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but, I think, that one of the things you are most proud of is that of being an "advocate". I would venture to guess that you learned this from your father, who taught you this, I would suspect, by example.
Oh Kathy, that was beautiful. I loved your exact descreption of you father. I would love to know him.Such a creatie,refined, intelligent and loving father. Please send him my love.
Your wedding photo and the caption made me cry...I love this post so much and not just because your father and his values reminds me so much if my mom but also because I can feel the love you have for your dad so clearly...this post is a beautiful gift to him.
Such a lovely tribute. Your father should be proud.
What a wonderful post! I could feel the love and respect that you have for your father coming through each and every word. You have been truly blessed to be able to call such a man "Father" and, in return, I am quite sure you have equally blessed his life.
Tell your dad I'm a little in love with him.
Cath, this is the most beautiful post I have ever read. A beautiful tribute to him for Father's Day. I know Herb and he is as you described him, and then some. I also know how much he ADORES you:)
All my love to you and your dad xo
Oh, Cathy--I bet my dad and your dad would have been buddies: that sense of humor and that love of life and its many joys.His words at your wedding reminded me of what my dad told me after he nearly slipped on our way down the aisle (which was actually the path down to my in-law's front porch):he held my arm a little tighter and said,"I'm glad you're here." And I said, "I'm glad you're here too." Yours is a lovely post.
Loved reading this post! It sounds like you really admire your father and have a great relationship with him.
What a beautiful tribute to your father Cathy. How wonderful that has experienced so many worldly adventures and imparted his wisdom to you. Blessings to you!
The love for you father showed through in the memories you shared. Thank you for sharing.
Cathy, that was beautiful. I loved your exact descreption of you father. He is generous , sweet ,brilliant and honest ,one of most wonderful people that God gave me the privilege of knowing , who I love like a father
God bless him always
What a lovely tribute to your dad! He sounds like someone I would like to hang out with.
And I'm not just saying that for the wine 😉
Absolutely love the photo of you and your dad. Your smiles tell the story of that special father/daughter bond you share.
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful father. I hope he takes a moment today to reflect on the love you have for him.