Real or fictional portrayals of friendships between women have always had a uniquely powerful impact on me. Believe it or not, when I watched re-runs of I Love Lucy as a child, I looked past the comedy and was delighted to see the solid friendship between Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz.
That sparked something in me to hope I’d someday have friendships forever.
Lucy and Ethel. Mary and Rhoda. Emily and Charlotte. Serena and Venus.
As a pre-teen, watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show’s comedic yet poignant relationship between Mary and Rhoda strengthened my love of strong, forever friendships. They were always having so much fun (and I loved Rhoda's clothes and the fact that Mary never minded them. Especially the groovy crocheted vests and funky headscarves.)
Meg, Jo, Elizabeth, and Amy March
I always yearned for a sisterly relationship like Lucy's one with Ethel.
I know, I know – it’s fiction! But writers base their stories on real life, including how women bond with one another, showing support and compassion despite any stupid, idiotic, exciting, or wonderful thing they may do.
Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug Shiprah and Puah (Old Testament)
I have been blessed with two such friendships. I met my two best friends – identical twins - when we were ten years old. As identical twins, they, of course, look the same. I treasure them individually for who they are and what they separately mean to me.
Together, they are my sisters. The ones who have weathered the storm of peer pressure, boyfriends, proms, college, first jobs, marriage, children, and menopause.
We are our true selves when we chat with each other.
We live all over the map, yet I know that on any given day if I call one of them, we can pick up where we last left off. We are each other’s cheering section and a shoulder to cry on if we need one.
They ground me.
If people go through life with at least one best friend, they can consider themselves lucky. I’ve been lucky twice, and I never take it for granted.
Dorothy Zbornak, Sophia Petrillo, Blanche Devereaux & Rose Nyland
True friendship must have three distinct qualities: honesty, trust, and loyalty.
You can have casual friends who may or may not have all of these qualities, yet you share a commonality that enables you to enjoy certain activities together. One friend may strictly be your tennis buddy; another frequents museums with you.
Thelma and Louise Mystic Pizza Steel Magnolias Stage Door
Over the years, I've learned some hard lessons with some friendships. These lessons were difficult. Friends who proclaim they are your friend, yet you don't hear from them despite all of your best efforts.
Others say they miss spending time with you and will call soon. They never do.
Still, others are fun to be with, yet despite your best efforts, they make little effort to contact you again.
I’ve felt hurt, betrayed, disappointed, and sad. I’ve questioned myself and whether I said something wrong or wondered whether it was a flaw within me.
I finally learned a very important lesson that comes from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It says:
“Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best.”
It would be wonderful to have a Lucy or a Mary live next door to share a cup of coffee, chatting the hours away. It would be lovely to have everyone treat you with dignity and honesty.
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” ~Virginia Woolf
I've learned that people come into our lives for a reason, and they leave them for a reason as well.
The truth is that life is as imperfect as we are. What is important is that to live a good quality life, we must take the time to tend to our true friendships and our health.
The quality of our friendships affects our health. That is the best reason of all to tend to our friendships.
(See the article at Mayo Clinic on how friendships enrich your life and improve your health.)
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” ~William Shakespeare
Do you tend to your friendships?
Afonsina,
Good! I am glad you are going to bookmark my blog. I do hope what I write touches others, and so we can exchange stories and thoughts. See you here again!
Have a good day,
Cathy
Cathy, again beautifully written. You are a fortunate person to have had such good friends in your life. I like your three musts ... loyalty, trust and honesty. I have that with a few very good friends. They are keepers. Great examples of friendship too.