Sheryl Sandberg (COO, Facebook and author of "Lean In") told me to contact her so she could put me in touch with an active disabilities group she is close to!
There are many blog posts about the mega BlogHer event that concluded in Chicago last Sunday. Each post I read was wonderful, detailing the unique camaraderie between bloggers, discussing the many brands at the Expo Hall and sponsored parties and whether they were midlife friendly, and talking about what they learned both from the speakers and their own personal experiences.
Generation Fabulous bloggers
As a writer and a health advocate, I want to put my two cents in from the point of view of a midlifer and someone living with a disability.
I had many concerns before going to BlogHer because of the enormity of the event. Would I be up to the task of reaching my personal BlogHer goals without re-awakening the monster of MS?
The Queen is in the house! Queen Latifah hosting BlogHer Voices of the Year Award ceremony
Stress: The enormity of BlogHer caused me great stress, even before leaving my front door. (Stress can exacerbate MS, so you have to try keep it to a minimum as best as you can.) How did I “de-stress”?
One word: Friendships.
At this point in my life, I never imagined I’d meet so many like-minded women that would become my close friends. It’s seems extraordinary to be able to form an instant bond with so many people I’ve known for less than a year. I can’t explain it. I won’t analyze it. I’m simply grateful the gods looked down on me and decided to gift me with their presence.
Fatigue: My body tells me to N-A-P when I need to. Since BlogHer was taking place in two hotels a few miles apart. I was worried about the fatigue factor.
There was a lot of walking during the day, and sometimes I felt my legs might give out in the middle of the hallway.
But something new happened. At least new to me.
Fun with friends and meeting Marshall Weinbaum, PR for Disney
A little back story: Twenty years ago, I walked with a cane and drove with hand controls. I got stares (really!) and heard some whispers (once I overheard someone say I was “faking” it. Why in the world would I fake the need for a cane?)
Even a well-known New York City anchorman asked me why I was using a cane when he spotted me walking toward my car parked in the handicapped spot! (The last time I saw him, he was relegated to reading tweets on CNN to Wolf Blitzer.)
Pure ignorance.
At BlogHer, I found people to be helpful and compassionate. Exhibitors were kind and caring if I asked to sit in their chair (particularly James at WeMontage, Natalie at BackBlaze and Kristi and Kelly at Serta. How I loved that bed and pillow!)
Next year, I hope BlogHer will consider holding the event at a place that is more accessible for people with disabilities. The venue was lovely in Chicago, but if it could be held under one roof, or in two venues closer to each other, that would make all the difference.
The view from our window - lovely Chicago
Awareness: There is more awareness about the difficulties of living with a disability since the enactment of The Americans with Disabilities Act. Awareness can lead to compassion and compassion can lead to hope. Hope of a tomorrow where we will only notice each others abilities.
At BlogHer, I felt hope come alive. I felt the compassion (“Cath, are you tired? Let’s take a break.”) I felt the tolerance (“Cath, do you need to slow down? Let’s get some coffee.”) And I felt the hope (“Why don’t you get in touch with me? I’ll hook you up with my mother-in-law’s disability group.”)
Gusher Alert: BlogHer was an extraordinary experience for me for many reasons. As a newbie I was told I would learn a little, but would end up enjoying the company of friends more than anything. They were right. If I had a quarter for every laugh and silly joke we shared I’d be a millionaire. I came home feeling as if I were on Cloud Nine (except for the horrible all-day event of flying home.) You are all exceptionally fabulous women, and it is my great honor to know you.
Because of you, I didn't mind being silly in front of the camera.
Being silly
I'd like to thank my roommate, Lois Alter Mark, who tolerated my ear plugs and eye mask and turning up the heat while she was in the bathroom. You are a gem of a friend.
I'd also like to particularly thank Sharon Hodor Greenthal for the day she invited me to join Generation Fabulous. I am deeply indebted to you.
Conclusion: Attending large conferences are possible for people with disabilities. As I said in my post about attending BlogHer with a disability, pre-planning, taking breaks and communicating your needs are important ways to stay healthy while enjoying yourself at a conference.
How did you take care of yourself when attending BlogHer?
I'm lousy about asking for what I need, so I applaud you for speaking up and taking care of your needs. Keep on pushing people to pay attention to disabilities-most of us don't know what to do and have too much misinformation or judgments around the issue, as you pointed out.
It does sound as if the trip was just fabulous. Love all your pictures.
Dearest Cathy, you are a treasure to me and everyone who knows you. Your positive spirit and kindness are unparalleled. It was so delightful being with you again and I can't wait til next time.
I am so happy that you came. I read your pre-BlogHer posts and realized that while you have a diagnosed "reason" to take care of yourself that so many of your points were applicable to those of us who have no diagnosis. Take a break, follow your body's signals, don't push it, rest when needed...I wish that we all would pay more attention to those words of wisdom.
Meeting you in person was wonderful -- and I'm so glad you got to Gino's! 🙂
Cathy, you are an amazing friend, person and roommate (even though our body temperatures are way off!) and I am so happy we got to share so much of BlogHer together. Can't wait to do it again next year! xoxo
I was a blogher newbie too, wrote my own post about the fab pioneer woman! i enjoyed this post, and read with interest. I have a tween daughter with a disability, and we balance these issues every day.
Glad you had a great event- hopefully you are taking care this week!
Congrats- on getting out there and trying something new. I found the crowds overwhelming, sigh.. socially too- but I keep my head down writing too much, enjoy and admire women writers online but need to do better forging friendships.
Cathy, you have added so much to Generation Fabulous. I think I can safely say that you are the kindest and most positive person I have met online. And I know I can honestly say that in person you are just as lovely.
I'm so glad that BlogHer was manageable and such a great time for you. I agree, a different venue would be more easily managed - and not just for those with disabilities, but for everyone!
I look forward to seeing you at BlogHer - and otherwise - soon!
Excellent points and marvelous photos. I'm glad you did well with the conference — I don't know what I'd do if you chose to not attend the next one I'll be at. You made the conference delightful, my friend. Happy you made it home healthy and exacerbation free, despite the conference challenges.
Cathy, I'm so glad I was able to meet you at BlogHer this year. You always had a smile on your face and something kind to say to everyone. You made traveling with a hidden disability look easy.
What a pleasure it was to meet you in person. Look forward to catching up at the NEXT!
Spending time with you was wonderful. Why do we live so far apart?
You raise so many good points. I am completely astonished at the # of people you've run into who have felt it necessary to comment on your disability and its authenticity. WTF is THAT about? I am outraged on your behalf and the behalf of anyone with disabilities. Honestly, some people....
Love your write-up! Wish I was there. I hope your experience helps other people who might hesitate attending big events for whatever reasons. You sure overcame the challenge.
PS. Just between us...I'm an eyeshade and earplug sleeper, too!
I have been stalking you for over a year (on-line). I have been deeply moved by not only your personal story, but your compassion and drive for others with disabilities. I am convinced that it is exactly because of people like you, Cathy, that the world changes for the better. After having met you, hugging you, hearing your laugh, I am even more sure. You, my new friend, are a keeper and a shaker. Even with shaky legs.
Wonderful post, so glad you had a great experience and I'm sure you are empowering so many others with challenges. XOXO
Cathy, meeting you was one of the highlights of BlogHer! You radiate beauty and kindness. Love your recap and photos.
Cathy, I'm so glad you wrote this follow-up piece. I was wondering how you were handling BlogHer last week. I'm so glad you had the support you needed; I knew you would. That's in part because light attracts light. You radiate goodness and openness. I loved all of the photos in this blog...made me almost feel like I was there with ya'll. Next year! I'm having wine with Connie this afternoon; I can't wait to hear more BlogHer details!
Cathy, It was a magical few days and a highpoint was meeting you. Your kindness and generosity of spirit that shines through in your writing was only outshined by your spirit in real life. But mostly I'll remember your smile and laughing with you. If you ever make it down to bayou country. you will always have a place to stay.
I was hoping to see a pix or two of someone in a wheelchair (like me). Not that I wish anyone to be in a wheelchair - I just like to think I'm not the only one in a wheelchair as a result of MS. Everything else works but them legs.
Cathy, I'm so glad you were able to enjoy and manage the conference in spite of your physical challenges. I hope to join you at the next BlogHer or some other conference!
hi cathy. i am impressed with your 'will do' attitude... it's great to hear how worth it was to attend despite your discomfort.... hopefully, next year i will experience the event myself..
You think I had the sense to take care of myself? Naw, I just came home and collapsed. You always looked fresh, happy and ready to party. So you work it right, kiddo. What a pleasure getting to know you. Now we're buddies.
I'm glad that you were able to go. What a great conference. You are smart to know your limits and work within them -- not that I could tell that you were limited at BlogHer13. You certainly had an enriching experience! Thanks for writing this slice o' life as lived at BlogHer13.
Where's the pizza from: Gino's? 😉 Good for you for taking the leap to come to BlogHer. I'm glad that you felt great, health-wise.
You nailed it- friendships! Thank you for linking up your experience!
Hi Cathy,
I always enjoy reading your blog and following your life. In spite of the circumstances you always find the joy! Keep strong you are a blessing to many.
Love,
Bo
Cathy, you can sit in my booth and orange chairs any time!!
It was wonderful to meet you.
-James
Great post Cathy. And wonderful meeting you in person!! Only wish we had more time to connect but will see you monday at the #foxcroft25 event in NYC!
I am so happy to hear that you had such a great time. Love your positive attitude. I am hoping to get to BlogHer next year as I have never been. BTW, that pizza looks amazing!
So sorry I did not get to attend BlogHer this year. As a blogging newbie, it all sounds overwhelming and exciting at the same time. I hope I can attend next year and meet everyone! Thanks Cathy for sharing about your experience at BlogHer.
It was such a pleasure to meet you at BlogHer, Cathy! It was definitely hard having the event in two places. It's not surprise that James at WeMontage was so accommodating. Such a sweet guy! I hope BlogHer pays attention to this post.
I did not attend this year but it sounds like the positives outweighed the negatives and I am so happy to hear that. I'm glad you found supportive connections throughout the conference!
thanks for your sweet reply. Head is up! the social aspect of blogher just blew me away. I keep things very positive, but life parenting is very busy, sometimes too busy for forging new friendships. I am a bit rusty and out of practice! Thanks again.
It really was a GREAT time! The best thing about it, for me, was meeting wonderful women like you, and becoming friends. What a blast!