The Multiple Sclerosis International Federation is once again asking anyone with Multiple Sclerosis, and their loves ones, to share their thoughts about MS on World MS Day (May 28). This annual campaign gives everyone a voice while raising awareness about MS. Join others worldwide by going to the World MS Day 2014 website to add your voice. To honor this campaign, here is a repost of something I wrote that I was especially proud of.
Who would I be if I never had MS?
I'd be a woman playing tennis with her husband every weekend,
and running marathons to raise money for charity.
I'd be working full-time at a job that I love,
with no need for a daily nap.
I'd be scaling the highest mountains with the full use of my legs,
while discovering the beauty of our world without worry of DISability.
I'd be more productive each day,
and stay out late some nights without having to excuse myself early.
But I do have MS. I am a woman living with a disability. I've made peace with that a long time ago. And making peace with it allows me to focus on what I CAN do, rather than what I CAN'T.
I have many blessings in my life. It is a rich and full life with my beloved family,
Bar Mitzvah - May 2005
my work,
BlogHer 2013
and my dear friends who live both far and near.
I am a lucky, lucky girl and have so much to be grateful for.
If I never received my diagnosis, I never would have met the people whose paths have crossed mine for guidance, support or friendship, both online and in IRL (in real life).
Teva Neuroscience MS Patient Advocate Forum, San Diego, 2012
I would have missed out on the joy and grace of knowing so many amazing people who put caring and compassion first, and live each day with courage and dignity. I talk to hundreds of people every day, either through social media or in person who teach me, by their example, the true meaning of inner strength and grace.
I believe my life is exactly the way it was meant to be. Without my disability, I would not have arrived at the place I am today. I feel blessed that the circuitous route which brought me into my Second Chapter has taught me that being disabled means I can pay it forward within my ABILITIES.
"Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life." ~Pythagoras
Would you be the same without one life-changing event? What are you grateful for?
I love this so much Cathy. I had a chronic digestive ailment and am now in remission. But what that did for me was helped my become more empathic. Now when someone is suffering the way I did I feel I can give them hope and feel such a strong connection that maybe I can even help. Your attitude is inspirational xo.
I completely agree with your comments here. I have MS and thinking of the things I could be doing if I didn't have it are akin to thinking of what it would be like to be an Olympic sprinter or a Tour de France cyclist or an astronaut. They are just imaginations.
This is who I am and, for the most part, I am comfortable in my own skin.
MS has made me value things differently and, I would say, in a better way. I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm grateful for having MS but I certainly can see some positives.
I'm really impressed with your attitude and I'm glad that we have a similar outlook on life.
Keep it up 🙂
And who knows... Jimbo x
Cathy, you are such an inspiration! I daresay there are people without disabilities (medical ones) who are not nearly as active, inclusive, and positive as you are. That you have identified your limitations and worked around them in order to maintain a rich and rewarding life is such a testament to your character. I am proud to call you my friend.
Cathy, your beautiful posts always inspire me, and I literally got chills from reading this one. You are so positive and live each day grateful for what you have instead of complaining about what you don't have. It is no wonder you are loved and admired by all of us who know you.
Cathy,
I love your positive approach to MS. This was a beautiful article. Positivity and gratitude are the best ways to deal with any of life's many curveballs.
My firstborn son had a rare genetic disease. He had 17 surgeries the first two years of his life. Just before his fifth birthday, he died of a brain tumor. He taught me so much in those five years. I learned the depth of my compassion, the miracle of compensating when you're born with missing things, and the capacity for sweetness in a beautiful human being. Those who didn't take the time to know him saw only a broken outer shell. If they only got to know my Avi, their lives would have been that much richer, sweeter and more joyous.
Thanks for sharing your inspiring blog. So many lives will be enriched through your positive example.
What an absolutely beautiful post! You are such a special person~
Loved this. Just beautiful, insightful and so true. What a spirit you have Cathy! A woman who changes the world.
I never regret the life I had because without it I wouldn't have the life I have now, which I love. And I never scaled the highest mountains or ran marathons, and neither did most of the people I know, so you didn't miss out on all that much.
Cathy, what a beautiful post! For me, having a child diagnosed with autism and epilepsy was a life-changer. It taught me what matters most. Patience. Humility. Determination. Resilience. Acceptance. Thanks for writing such an inspiring post.
xo
Cathy, you are perfect as you! Hugs to you.
Such a beautiful, positive, life-affirming post. No surprise, though, as you are all those things to me.
My MS diagnosis changed my life in far more positive ways than negative. There are hundreds of ways it has improved my life compared to the dozen or so it has hampered it. A pretty good return, in my eyes (even on the days when only one eye is seeing clearly). 😀
Loved this. Thank you.
Inspiring! Life changing events make you humble if not anything else. You have to make the best of it, and you surely have excelled there. Great article.
Oh, Cathy, this,is what makes you so unique...not your MS but your ability to see beyond it and appreciate all you DO have. I venture to say you'd feel like that anyway. But I will add that any time life hands us challenges -and I have had major ones myself- we do tend to see things with a different eye, in many ways. And in many ways we become so much wiser and stronger in a hurry. YOu are an inspiration for so many. Xoxo
I often wonder who Boo would be without her disability but I always know that the girl she is is so much more than that. Her abilities and drive make her some one to admire and be astounded by.
Excellent reminder to all of us to focus on what we do have, right this moment.
I'm sure there have been a couple of life-changing moments that have shaped who I am. We could probably all say that, though not to the degree that you have experienced. Thank you for being such an inspiration to all of us.
This was a wonderful way to start my Saturday, Cathy. I don't have one life changing event, but every event in my life does change it in some way. Thank you for the reminder to be grateful and thankful for what we have. Inspiring! (And the bar mitzvah picture made me cry a little - my baby's is in one year. Where does the time go?)
Powerful, positive sentences, Cathy - thanks for the "positive energy" to start my Saturday!
Cathy,
What an inspiring message. I love the way you put this blog together with the photos...so sweet.
I agree, it's important to count your blessings. You are such an advocate and inspiration...I know you're a blessing to so many people (including me)!
All of your abilities and strengths far outweigh your disability as far as the world sees you. You need to write a book.
I enjoy reading all of your positive blogs, Cathy!
I know you Cathy. For a person with a disability you sure have a helluva lot of ABILITY. I find it so inspiring that you have sewn a silk purse from this disease's rotten ear. Most people don't have your wisdom, courage, and gentle nature even if they are totally capable. God has given you a wonderful gift, just in a strange package. XXOO
It is a true gift when we can see the good in the hard road that we must travel. You reminded us that with the pain comes joy if we are willing to see. it. Thanks you.
You empower those of us that are suffering with chronic diseases. I have a severe neck disability and carpel tunnel, no feeing in either hand or fingers. and numbness from both elbows down. Recently one of my "friends " told me due to my neck disability she did not want me on her property because she was afraid I would sue her if I become further injured or paralyzed. I was in shock. The more we can educate the public the more we empower ourselves
What an inspiring post, Cathy. I love your attitude and agree with you that you have a wonderful, full life and that MS is just a part of it. xo
I so relate to the message in this post. Recently, I broke my ankle, had surgery, and unfortunately some complications. My life has become so much richer these days and I find myself enjoying life on a whole different level. Your beautiful thoughts in this post reinforce something that I have always known instinctively, but recently have lived: our challenges in life can become our best friends and our motivators. Thank you, Cathy, for teaching me so much through your powerful, sweet and important writings.
I love your honest sharing. I always tell people that M.S. has been an unexpected gift that totally changed my life and path and not always in ways I wanted, but in ways that helped me life more fully.
Mostly, it has given me the opportunity to accept change.....and the joy that comes along....thanks for sharing!!
Be well!!
Marybeth
Cathy, I really needed this this morning. Somedays, I feel so sorry for myself. And then I remember that others have disabilities far worse than mine. And I am thankful for what I can still do! And trying to accept the things I can't.
This is such a thought-provoking post. For some reason I'm reminded of the deaf community who see don't see deafness as a disabilty at all, just something that's part of life. YOu have a great attitude, Cathy.
And I'm SO glad you're you!
You continue to inspire and ignite all of us to be the best we can be! Thank you for your honesty, bold words and tremendous wisdom!
This was a moving post when you first published it and it resonates still now! You are a role model, humble, insightful and real.
Cathy, thank you for lifting me up today with your words. I was feeling down in the dumps with another flare up of my illness and reading this made me focus on the positive and pushed me out the door to keep on, keepin' on. You are an inspiration to many near and far.
Cathy, there's a reason you're one of the first people I connected with off to the side after finding this group. Your stunning attitude is completely infectious. I'll remember your writing the next time I'm tempted to sulk over any "can't". Thank you.
Who knows what might have been but I know that today is good and my life is better with you in it. Without our life "events" I am not sure our paths would have crossed! Beautiful piece -- just love your photos too!
Oh, how I love this piece, Cathy. Your message is so smart and true, for us to be grateful for what we have and can do and, not focus on what we can't do or don't have. A wonderfully inspiring message for all of us. Thank you for sharing.
This is so interesting because it is what I pondered a lot this past weekend. I would still be me but I'd be a different me. I'd be the me that used to rush around from the time my feet hit the ground in the morning about 6a.m. until sometimes 11pm or midnight.
Multiple Sclerosis has forced me to accept and embrace change, prioritize my relationships and the things I do, and the things I am willing to stress over. MS has actually made me a better me and certainly a happier me.
Granted I don't do as much as I used to do but I think I'm more productive. I can't count how many times I've said "gosh, it's right on the tip of my tongue. If I open my mouth can you tell me what it says". I have learned to not take myself so seriously. Sometimes I tell my leg to step up and it says "oh sorry 'bout that" when I fall. I was never one who could take naps. Now an afternoon nap has become a real pleasure. I remember being in 5th grade and my best friend, Joanne Brooke had to do injections for diabetes. I was so sure I could never do injections. Well, yes I can and yes, I do. I didn't think I'd ever research medical marijuana in order to make an educated vote. I used to think that marijuana was marijuana never realizing that there were different varieties with different levels of THC.
We recently made the decision that I would discontinue working full time and now work only part time. That was not in our thoughts or financial planning but it has made such a difference! Our household runs more smoothly and my husband's and my time together is wonderful. We have more together time instead of more "get stuff done around the house" time.
We have learned to LIVE WITH MS and are not dying from it. Life is good and we are so blessed and part of that is because I am the new me with MS.
This is such a wonderful post Cathy! And one I needed to hear right now. I have Lupus and chronic problems with Lyme disease and the past year has been a tough one (tougher then normal I should say). Thank you for putting into words the thoughts I need to get back in my head!
So beautifully written, Cathy --- you are a source of inspiration and wisdom to us all! xo
I don't consider myself disabled. I'm definitely physically different than I was before the life threatening infection that left me with a 12 inch zipper down the middle of my back, learning to walk again, and a wonked out autonomous nervous system 12 years ago.
The takeaways:
1. Perspective. The outcome of my illness depended on so many different variables. A change to anyone of those variables and the whole situation could've resolved in a drastically different way: I could've been a paraplegic. I could've passed. I did neither. I recovered. I'm not the same person mentally or physically. Everyone kept saying "back to normal." What they didn't realize is there's no "back" to normal. There's just a new normal. Given the alternatives, I'm happy I got a new normal. A new normal is better than no normal at all.
2. Serendipity. I had no control over the variables in my situation. The condition, the diagnosis, the surgeon on call, the result... All came together in a lucky combination. Everyone involved in my recovery forgot to tell me that they were all telling each other I wasn't supposed to walk again. Good thing, too. I do have to admit that I did wonder why they kept parading doctors into my room for demonstrations of me standing, balancing, walking in a straight line, standing on my toes, etc. I pretty much figured out what no one had told me by the 5-6 "see what she's doing!?!" demonstration.
3. Roll with it. Even the stuff that sucks about having a physical condition becomes part of every day life after a while. Your body functions just happen to be different than they once were, or different than 80% of the other people you know. There's more important stuff to move on to. yeah, it sucks in the minute, but it's only that minute. At least there will be a minute from now. 10 minutes later. 20 minutes from now.
12 years ago I put 2 dogs through therapy dog international testing 2 days before my medical emergency. Today I'm sitting in my home office with my 14 month old puppy at my feet.
You know what's really cool? I get to have a 14 month old puppy at my feet.
I'm 12 years older, a bit slower, but less inclined toward face plants than I was even 5 years ago, and I get to take a 14 month old puppy to agility classes where I run with the dog...
It sure isn't the same. But I'll take it.
Loved your beautiful post as this is something I think about often. My 1999 diagnosis with MS changed my life and gave me a passion, an education, a career, and a mission to help others feel better through what they eat. Learning how to manage this disease has empowered me in ways I never could have imagined. Getting diagnosed has shaped the course of my life irrevocably and, ironically, encouraged me to become a healthier person both physically and emotionally.
Before my disabiliy, I was a park ranger at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. I stood at the entrance station 10 hours a day, greeting visitors, or in the campground checking campers in. I hiked with friends on my days off, or worked on sewing projects and quilts.
I was a pretty active person and lived in an RV full time.
Now that I am disabled, I have to use those carts at the grocery store to get around, and rarely go anywhere because it exhausts me to do so. It hurts to sew, which was my passion before. I am very slowly getting used to the new me, and trying my best to be patient with myself while I find new things to do that can make me feel productive again.
Thanks for your post, it is very inspiring.
Cathy,
"Would I still be me if I weren't disabled?" Cathy asks. I would think that I would regain myself. I know a lot of people that say that the found themselves with MS and some are even grateful for MS because they learned to be more compassionate, etc., etc.
If I were honest I would have to say there is no way of sugar coating this I HATE MS. I have lost myself since being diagnosed and lets not get into the years that went by prior to diagnosis. Since diagnosis in 2009 symptoms began in 2006. I have had perhaps two instances of several days without MS symptoms. I have to say that I so enjoy those times and they are so painful when my SPMS come back. I live in the MS world of symptoms daily and it is not fun. My answer to Cathy would be that being disabled took "me" and my family. I try but to accept this diagnosis and try extremely hard to try to get to know this new Liset and I must say I don't quiet like her. This new me is someone that I more than likely would not want to befriend; she'd dull, most of the time negative and lacks self confidence ALL characteristics that I would range high in my friendship list among many other things,
I guess getting to know this new Liset. She isn't bad, but a hell of a long cry from pre-MS Liset. I think the worse part is now is every health issue is stricken to a NEW MS Symptom. Since last year I was having a sore throat I would tell me Dr. about it and his response was "well you know MS patients sometimes as they progress have trouble swallowing". I switched primary care givers after many months of this. As it turns out in October I had an ultra sound on my thyroid gland although my T and T4 were normal. It came back I had quiet a big nodule on the left side of my thyroid. I let it go so many other things go on that I just thought it would go away.
All the woman in my family have some sort of thyroid problem. In the past month I have had a nuclear medicine uptake for the thyroid and seen two specialist. As it turns out the nodule has consumed the complete thyroid and it is what is called a "cold nodule" which 80% of the time is cancerous. Yesterday I went in for what should had been a thin need biopsy and the ENT said he could not perform the biopsy because the nodule has grown and hardened and he was afraid it would not get any return for a pathological biopsy through a thin needle. IF this would had been caught on time it could had tried to of been controlled perhaps with medication and the thin needle biopsy as it turns out I am headed to the hospital to see what fate awaits me. Guys and gals don't leave your health in the hands of others, insist on more screening when you don't feel well. Not all is MS related. Cathy thank you for your well wishes and I do remember the days of RRMS..they were good ones too bad SPMS is what fills my days now, ♥ Liset